His Storyteller
by Little Gertrude
Summary: "Your life hinges on my single breath and whether or not I choose to burn you alive. So let me ask you the question again, and you shall speak your answer carefully. Who are you, child of men?" - Set sixteen years before the events of the "Desolation of Smaug". A story about a girl who stood against a dragon with little more than her tales and wit.
1. The Fisherman

**Chapter** **I: The Fisherman**

* * *

For as long as I could remember my father had worked as a fisherman, and a very skilled one at that too. Every morning even before the gulls were awake, he would be pushing his old, wooden dinghy into the water and sailing across the wide lake which encompassed the town. In happier and more plentiful times he would bring home crates of all kinds of fish, laughing heartily as he carried the boxes into the house. The fishy aroma from the trout, pike fish and bass would fill our tight kitchen. Father had not laughed like he had those many years ago, but nonetheless he continued to fish in the lake of Esgaroth.

This morning was no exception. As I lay in bed I heard the grating sound of wood against timber as Father dragged his small dingy out to the wharf. I knew he would not return home until evening, a time long after the fish had all retreated down to the bottom of the water, below the pillars that held afloat the town's structure.

As quietly as I could I slowly lifted the covers of my blanket and crept out of bed, careful not to wake up Addy who was still asleep on the other bed beside mine. Her body rose up and down peacefully as she breathed out against her pillow, blowing her brown curls away from her face. Sprawled on the floor between the beds was the old black cat who often climbed in through the small open window in the room. He posed no harm to anyone, and no one bothered to chase him out whenever he appeared. I quietly placed a finger to my lips as the green eyes stared at me, before tiptoeing out of our bedroom.

The rays of the sunrise flooded in through the gaps of the weatherboard walls of the house, yellow lighting the kitchen as I made my way downstairs. The cold, dawn air still lingered in the house and I hastily grabbed my worn sheepskin coat that was hanging on the dining chair. It was a dirty brown color with grey patches here and there, but it suited me just fine against the bitter cold. Even in the summer there was ice floating on the Long Lake surrounding Esgaroth, and with so little to go around, I knew I was in no position to complain about trivial aspects such as my clothes.

I crept my way around the creaky floorboards of the kitchen towards the pantry. It was almost bare, save a tin of wholesome sized biscuits which Addy had baked the night before. I reached my hand into the narrow container, fished a couple of them out and dropped them into my coat pocket. A patter of small feet coming my way caused me to turn around guiltily, but it was only the black cat who had followed me downstairs to investigate the noise.

"Don't tell Aunt Maude. You know she will give me a tongue lashing if she found out I was in the pantry again," I whispered as I discretely replaced the lid back on the tin.

Indifferent to my words, the cat stretched and yawned before rubbing its back on my legs, purring contentedly.

"Well, at least one of us are happy," I commented as I gave its black fur a good comb through with my fingers.

The cat sat patiently beside me as I leaned against the stool to tie the laces of my boots. The creature was out of the house as soon as I opened the front door, ready to start a new day on the streets of the town.

I closed the door behind me and stepped out onto the road paved with wood panels that had been beaten soft at the edges by the waves. The freezing wind refused to stop blowing and I instinctively wrapped my coat tighter around my body as I continued down the track. Only a few villagers were awake and preparing for the morning, men untying their boats and the women carrying their laundry away to wash.

I stopped in front of the carpentry store and waited under the low stooped roof. The owner gave me a nod but otherwise took no further notice of me. He knew who I was waiting for, it had been the same person for the last nine years.

The familiar silhouette approached from the other end of the block. I waved and Bard returned the gesture as he quickened his pace. He always arrived at our meeting place a few minutes late since he had to help his own father with their barge every morning.

"I swear it gets colder every sunrise," he complained as soon as we were within talking distance of each other.

"A very masculine comment to make," I teased but my attention was fixed on the bow and arrow hanging over Bard's shoulder.

Bard noticed my excitement and his eyes crinkled in amusement.

"I don't know whether this is a good idea or not," he said as he hoisted the weapon higher around his shoulder.

"No backing out, you promised," I gave him a playful punch.

"Are you sure your aunt is not going to give you grief over this, Lari? I don't want to get my best friend into trouble," Bard asked as we slowly made our way to the wharf.

"I'm sure. You worry too much, Bard. Aunt Maude is not going to find out about this," I answered firmly.

Bard looked like he wanted to say more, but he just nodded and continued walking. Ever since we were children, he had always let me have the final word. Whether it was because he was kind in that way or it was because he pitied my stubbornness, I had not quite figured out the reason behind it.

When we arrived at the town wharf, Bard's father had already pulled the anchor of his barge up and was preparing to sail. He grinned when he saw us approach, his weather beaten face lighting up.

"You young ones need some fresh air in your nostrils," he said as he winked at me knowingly.

Bard's father was the nicest and jolliest man I ever knew. He enjoyed regular bantering with people and his laugh was the kind that lifted the spirits of others around him. More than once I had wished under the bright stars for my father to be like Bard's, and each time I had felt guilty about it afterwards.

We boarded the vessel and it was slowly steered away from the wharf. Bard's father was responsible for delivering the town's trades with the elves so he was in and out of Esgaroth regularly. Bard perched up on one of the barrels near where I was standing, his legs effortlessly balancing his body. I tilted my head slightly and relished the soft breeze that tickled my fringe. White foam rolled out as the vessel ripped through the calm lake.

"I want to own a barge under my name," Bard spoke suddenly, breaking the comfortable silence between us.

"You've only just turned eighteen years old and still work for your father," I reminded him before cringing slightly at my own pessimism.

"Yes, but I can still wish for it," he answered as he rolled his eyes at me.

"Where would you go?" I asked more kindly this time.

Bard shrugged as he bent down and picked up a loose nail from the floor. He absently mindedly tossed it overboard, watching the scrap of metal sink to the bottom of the water.

"Somewhere warm," he said finally, the light tone returned in his voice as he grinned at me.

The barge stopped at the edge of the bank on the opposite side to Esgaroth. Bard swung his body over the rail while I wisely chose to use the opening at the port. We left his father to his own business with the supplies that were to be sent to the elves, and made our way up the low hill towards the bushes.

It felt good to get away from the wet, icy town and stay where the songbirds chirped happily on the branch which had been warmed from being under the sun. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Bard breathe out deeply - it seemed as though the change in atmosphere was a relief for him as well.

We continued walking for a while longer past the twisted trees before finally arriving at a wide clearing. The land in that area was bare, whatever trees had been planted previously had been completely burnt down to the roots. Bard reckoned the clearing had been made by the wild men many lifetimes ago to train their warriors in combat. Fortunately no wild men could be found in these parts anymore, which meant that the place could be used as our own practice ground for archery without any disturbances.  
Bard picked up a broken branch and used it as a marker to draw a think line through the earth in front of my feet.

"Behind this line will give a good shooting range. Now, remember to always hold the arrow head away from you," he instructed as he handed the bow and arrow over to me.

I took the weapon gingerly. It felt unfamiliar to me and a sense of thrill and nervousness churned inside me as I carefully loaded the nock of the arrow against the string. Bard watched me for a second longer before scanning ahead for an appropriate mark.

"Try hitting that tree trunk in front of us," he said eventually as he pointed at the closest tree ahead.

It appeared less than one hundred steps away from where we were standing. Arrogantly confident, I pulled the fletching and string hard before letting go. I was surprised at how stiff the string really was. The arrow flew through the branches, cutting nothing but the air and missing the mark completely. Bard chuckled loudly as he watched, clearly entertained by my misfiring.

"You knew I was going to miss, didn't you," I accused with a huff.

"You need to stand with your legs apart a bit, Lari. And have your shoulders straight in line with your feet...here, let me help," he offered as he tapped my hunched shoulders with his fingers.

With my posture fixed, Bard nodded and offered me a second arrow from his quiver. He held my elbow up in the proper direction, guiding my body to become closer with the bow. I pulled and let go, watching in dismay as the arrow flew past the tree trunk again and fell to the ground.

"Try to feel the arrow, not just pull the string," Bard said as I sat down on the fallen leaves in defeat.

Bard positioned a third arrow before drawing it to his face. He released and the arrow flew past with a smooth sound. There was a snap as its head pierced the trunk cleanly.

"You make it look so easy," I said with a sigh.

Bard laughed softly as he sat down beside me on the ground. I rummaged through my coat pocket and retrieved the two biscuits which I had wrapped in brown paper. I offered one to Bard before biting into my piece. We ate together under the shade away from the burning glare of the sun.

"Why did you ask me to teach you archery all of a sudden, Lari?" Bard asked as he chewed his biscuit thoughtfully.

I looked away, suddenly embarrassed as I began picking the crust distractedly.

"For the same reason you come out every afternoon to practice. I want to be able to wield a weapon, protect myself," I answered with an emphasis on the "protect" part.

Bard remained silent as he listened, a small frown formed above his left eyebrow. We both knew arrows posed little harm to the true threat and danger that haunted Esgaroth and us who lived there. It was comfort that I craved for mostly, the belief that I was safe from the risk that had claimed the lives of so many girls in our village. I didn't think I could admit that truth to Bard, but it turned out he understood me without the spoken words.

"Lari, you're safe here. Your father is not going to offer you to that monster, you know that," Bard replied gently as he looked at me with soft eyes.

I shrugged and pushed the final morsel of the biscuit into my mouth so as to give myself an excuse to not answer. A large, black thrush with a yellow underbelly flew over our heads and landed on a nearby branch. It sang a melodious tune, so blissfully unaware of everything. Bard finished off the last of his biscuit and rubbed the crumbs from his shirt.

"Come on then. We can squeeze in a few more shooting rounds before father finishes loading the barrels," he said as he offered his hand and pulled me up from the ground.

We spent the rest of the afternoon in the clearing. In total I managed to hit my mark three times, of the fifteen or so arrows I shot. The sun remained high in the sky, even after Bard and I packed up and made our way back down to the edge of the bank. As we boarded the barge and sailed once again nearer to the dreary shadow of Esgaroth, I wondered why the sun never fully reached our small town sitting on the Long Lake.

* * *

When we arrived back to the wharf, I left Bard to help his father unload the new barrels. They contained fresh goods from Mirkwood which could not be grown over the lake. I didn't make my way straight home though. Making several shortcuts through the tightly spaced buildings, I stopped at the large well standing at the edge of the town square. The well was the only source of fresh water and was shared amongst the villagers. It was nothing more than a dark and deep hole. There were claims that a drunken man once fell into the well, but they were just rumors. I rubbed my frozen hands together before picking up one of the buckets beside the well and pumped clean water into it. It took quite a few pumps to collect enough water to reach the brim.

By the time I had dragged the bucket home, the sun was just beginning to set. The glass fitted on the windows reflected an orange glow. I left the bucket in the hallway and made my way into our small kitchen. Addy was standing by the stove, stirring a large pot of what I assumed to be watered down fish soup. She looked up and smiled briefly when she heard me enter, but her eyes quickly returned back to the soup. Aunt Maude was sitting at the dining table, her fingers tapping the wooden board impatiently.

"Well don't just stand there and act like you are the Master of the town. Your father doesn't know how lazy you are. You're just as helpless as your mother was," she growled as she glared at me.

Aunt Maude was a tall and thin lady, with slit eyes like a serpent's. She moved like one too, always slithering around the house, picking problems to tell me off and call me names. Knowing better than to argue, I wordlessly picked up the laundry basket and made my way to the balcony where the washing was hanging. The 'tap tap' sound of Aunt Maude's fingers could be heard even when I had left the kitchen. Sometimes I felt that Aunt Maude wanted nothing more than to sink her fangs into my flesh.

We ate the fish soup for dinner without father. This was not the first time, it had been years since he had come home to eat with the family. Father returned only after the table had been cleared and Addy and I had been sent upstairs to our room. I could hear his heavy footsteps trudge through the door, and his muffled answers at Aunt Maude's questioning. Addy sat on her bed watching me oddly as I hung my coat in the wardrobe.

"Where were you today, Lari?" She asked, her blue eyes sparkling in curiosity.

"Out on the island. Bard taught me archery," I answered with a grin.

Addy gasped excitedly and she giggled with her hand over her mouth in mock horror. I loved my cousin sister, she understood my desire to get away from Esgaroth. Addy was the daughter of Aunt Maude who was my father's sister. She was eighteen years old like me, but people always thought she was younger because she was small and I was so tall. Her dark brown curls and innocent, blue eyes made her a popular lass among the lads in the town, although she always made it clear that she had a soft spot for Bard only.

"Mother asked where you were. I told her you were helping the fishermen at the wharf," she said proudly.

"Thank you, Addy. You're the best," I hugged her gratefully.

The muffled conversation downstairs suddenly grew louder, enough so we could hear it without trying from our rooms.

"The pay you bring home is not enough," Aunt Maude's voice spoke first.

"We will pull through. We always do," father answered gravely.

"They are calling for volunteers again. The gold they will pay is good-" Aunt Maude was cut off by the bang of a fist on the table.

"I have said it before and I will say it again. We will not be sending either of the girls away!" The anger in father's voice could be heard clearly.

"Then we will all starve together!" Aunt Maude shouted back.

Addy sat petrified on her bed, her face full of fear and worry. I swallowed and sat down on the bed beside her, pulling the covers right over our heads.

"Do you want to hear a story?" I asked softly, trying to drown out the arguing below.

Addy looked at me and nodded with tearful eyes. This was a little ritual we had whenever Aunt Maude and father fought with each other. The stories came to me naturally like a river that was always flowing. I was scared as well, but I cuddled Addy tightly in my arms and began to weave the words in order.

"Once upon a time, there was a thrush that lived in a tree facing the lake..."

I didn't pause once, fearful of the disputes I would hear if I stopped talking. The shouting eventually quietened, and I heard the scrape of the chair as father stood up and left the kitchen. The light leaking through the crack of our bedroom door soon went out, but I didn't leave Addy's side. Instead, I continued telling the story of the thrush that lived over the lake, and Addy listened intently with wide eyes that soon drooped sleepily. I felt like we were alone, two small candles burning away in the growing darkness.

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 _ **Hello! I hope you enjoyed the first chapter. Please feel free to leave me reviews or PM's :D Thanks~**_


	2. The Long Lake

**Chapter II: The Long Lake**

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A couple of months before the arrival of winter, father lost his job as the town's fisherman. The amount of fish that he pulled up from his leaking dinghy no longer satisfied the council - the Master of Esgaroth to be exact. As soon as father was dismissed, the position was opened up for an eager and younger lad who owned a larger boat. It broke my father to have lost the occupation he had kept for over three decades, it had been his reputation and his life after my mother. Since he was let go he now did nothing but smoke endlessly on his old pipe outside on the porch. He was wreathed in smoke from morning to night, no longer speaking to anyone and trapped within his own demons.

Having no immediate income and my father appearing to have given up trying altogether, we began to struggle to keep everything afloat. Aunt Maude took up doing the neighbors' laundry and Addy and I tried to help around the house as best as we could. We sold mother's favorite jewelry box and our best cutlery. The wardrobe in out bedroom was pawned off for a price much less than its value. Meals were reduced to two servings a day, and Bard brought over whatever food his family could spare given their own financial situation. My daily meetings with Bard dwindled as I had to make my way down to the wharf every morning to check for any odd jobs people were willing to pay a young woman to do. People who were aware about our situation were sympathetic, but with the state of the economy, jobs were scarce and those who worked were unwilling to share the labor and the money.

It was unsurprising then that our efforts were not nearly enough to cover the payments to our landlord and provide for the basic necessities such as food. With winter fast approaching and the weather getting colder by the day, we began to crack under the pressure. Every day I saw the fear in Addy's eyes, Aunt Maude's eyes and in my own reflection that echoed back to me.

* * *

One particularly cold evening I walked down to the kitchen to find Aunt Maude and father waiting for me. Addy had left the house as soon as she had returned from her morning chores, having found some work as a chambermaid in the home of the Master of the town. It was an unsavory job due to the Master being infamous for ogling young women, but the pay was satisfactory and we did not have the luxury to be picky.

"Sit down, Lari," Aunt Maude said as she pointed to the chair opposite to where she was sitting at the dining table.

I looked at father who was standing by the counter. He was not smoking on his pipe, but he refused to make eye contact with me and focused his attention on the floor. Feeling uneasy, I dragged the chair out and sat down on the hard wood slowly. Neither father nor Aunt Maude spoke. I was too afraid to ask why, so I looked at them back and forth with my mouth closed. A deathly silence filled the space of our small kitchen instead, suffocating us painfully.

"Lari," Aunt Maude finally spoke.

I looked up at her stern face, observing the way her beady eyes darted left and right. Her grey hair was thinned and oily, and her long face seemed to have accumulated more wrinkles over the past few weeks. Father coughed and kept his eyes glued to the timber floors.

"Yes, Aunt Maude?" I asked.

"You are well aware of our...adversities. Winter will be here any day. We cannot live like this anymore," she paused before continuing, "The council is seeking for a lass again. They are willing to pay handsomely if she volunteers. We would never have to worry about money again."

Her words made no sense to me, I couldn't understand her point.

"What are you talking about?" I stammered in confusion as Aunt Maude closed her eyes and looked away from me.

"This morning...I wrote your name down on the official scroll...You have been chosen for the offering," she said in defeat.

"...The offering?" I echoed stupidly.

My empty stomach churned around and around, and I could no longer hear what other words Aunt Maude was saying.

"You...you can't send me away like that!" I choked back the emotions and disbelief.

"It has already been decided. The ritual will take place in two days," Aunt Maude said simply, though the slight shaking in her voice gave her away.

I stared in shock at father who was still refusing to look at me. Frustration and anger began to boil inside of me.

"Why do you stand there and say nothing?!" I yelled at him, feeling betrayed.

Father did not answer but he gripped the kitchen counter so hard that his knuckles turned white. I felt my chest go tight as I watched, a once proud man, cower into the corner of the room. _You're my father_. I screamed in my mind, silently begging him to look at me and see that I needed him. _You're supposed to be here for me, to protect me_.

"Father!" I yelled, unable to hold back my hurt any more.

"Damn, Lari! What do you expect me to say? Please…don't make it harder than it already is," He said finally, his voice strained tightly as if he was in pain.

"Stop being so selfish, child. Think about your family. You can end our suffering!" Aunt Maude hissed, quickly losing her patience with me.

I glared at her glassy eyes with a newfound hatred. Whatever little affection I had for Aunt Maude was now all but lost forever. Yet more than Aunt Maude I felt betrayed by father. He had always been distant, but I still believed he cared for me. I had been so blindly naive to think we still shared a father and daughter bond, I could see that now.

"You're monsters. Both of you," I whispered tearfully before kicking my chair and leaving the kitchen.

I continued walking, past the stairs and past the hallway. I opened the front door and stepped outside. Autumn was nearly at its end, and when I opened my mouth white steam circled out as my breath hit the frosty air. Villagers walked along the street, not paying any attention to me. A good thing as well, since I was certain that I was losing my mind at this point. The sun was setting and many people were busily returning to the comforts of their own home. My legs broke out into a sprint, fuelled on nothing but panic.

 _I am the next offering_ , the horrible reality swam around in my mind making it impossible for me to think straight. Nobody had ever survived a day longer after the offering ritual, and knowing that fact made me feel sick with fear.

Aimlessly I walked through the road, bumping into people every few steps.

"Watch it! You don't own the street!" Someone growled at me, but I did not pay attention.

I had lived in Esgaroth all my life and knew every secret corner, but I felt lost and wary as I walked down the path. Nothing appeared familiar to me anymore, and I found my legs move in the direction of the wharf. It was relatively empty, save a couple of men pulling up the nets nearby. My eyes travelled to the very edge of the wharf, held up above the lake by two pillars. The water flowing through was dark and bottomless, and ice floated all around.

Realizing that I was standing a little too close to the edge, I began to take a couple of steps backwards. Yet as I continued to stare at the moving blackness, a frightening thought entered my mind. _I could end it right here. I could get away for forever. All my problems would be gone if I jumped._ Somewhere in my throbbing head a warning voice told me this was not the solution to take, but my body had already taken another foot closer to the brink of the wharf where the lake beckoned me over.

My eyes were open but I saw nothing as I fell head first into the dark water. In the distance I could hear people yelling at me and a baby cried somewhere in the background. I closed my eyes and didn't struggle as the water seeped through my clothes. My coat gained weight as it absorbed the water surrounding me, dragging my body down to the bottom of the lake faster. I heard no more noises as the water closed over my head, trapping me below the surface. Water filled up my nostrils and poured down my throat. My body began to struggle against my wishes, kicking for air that was not around to breathe. _This is the end_ , I told myself as I clenched my fingers into a tight fist and waited for the air to run out of my lungs.  
But the moment never came.

An arm plunged into the water after me from above and grabbed the collar of my coat. I tried to fight against the owner of it, but he had a stronger will to save me than my will to die. In an instant I was dragged out of the water, coughing and spluttering as my head broke through the surface. I looked up and saw Bard staring at me with wide, frightened eyes. He thumped my back hard a couple of times to force the rest of the water out of my body.

"I'm alright," I managed through the choking and I heard him breathe out in relief.

"Have you lost your mind?" Bard yelled as he gripped my shoulders with both hands, anger replacing the fear.

In the nine years of our friendship, I had never seen Bard so furious. Not even the time when we were nine years old and I had accidentally sunk the toy boat that his father had carved out for him with wood. Or when we were twelve years old and I had kicked him in the shins a little too hard for being annoying. Bard had never been angry with me like this ever, for anything.

"What were you thinking, Lari? You scared the life out of me. You could have drowned!" Bard continued to shout.

His voice finally got through to me, snapping me back to reality. I blinked and shivered, suddenly feeling the coldness of the wind cut through my wet clothes. Bard sighed loudly as he picked his coat up from the ground and draped it over my shaking shoulders as soon as he saw my teeth chattering against each other. I was surprised when he wrapped his arms around me and rubbed my freezing skin with his hands. I involuntarily crept closer to the warmth of his body, my body shaking less.

"Silly girl," a man's voice shouted at me from the other side of the wharf, which we both ignored.

"Lari….why?" Bard asked eventually in defeat, his voice had lost most of its aggression by this stage.

"I...I'm the next one," I said in a jumble before he could say anything, tears welling up in my eyes.

"What are you talking about?" Bard asked in confusion, his eyes searching my face for answers.

"I'm the next one…to be offered to him," I whispered.

The answer had been the last thing Bard had expected to hear. He stared at me in shock, unsure of what to say or how to react next. His arms were still around my body, but he was unmoving, as if he had frozen on the spot. We both stood like still life paintings, allowing the gravity of my words to sink in. Bard finally stepped back, rubbing his face in frustration.

"Who signed you up? Don't you dare tell me you volunteered," he asked eventually and I shook my head.

"...Aunt Maude. It was her decision."

I saw first the disbelief, then fury render across Bard's face.

"How dare she do that?" he stormed angrily.

"What does it matter? It doesn't change anything. I would have to leap into the lake to escape," I said as I pointed at the black water which had been such an appealing solution less than five minutes ago.

Bard leant against the lamp post with his head resting in his hands.

"I can't believe it," he said as he faced the Long Lake.

I drew Bard's coat closer over my chest and shivered. I had warmed up slightly, but I could not stop my lips from trembling and my hands shaking.

"What do I do?" I whispered the question, letting the wind carry it away.

Bard looked at me standing in front of him with his coat hanging over my shivering frame. Sadness filled his brown eyes and he straightened his coat to cover my shoulders better.

"I'm going to take you home," he said after a long while.

"What?! You want to send me back? Even when you know they want to give me up as an offering?" I asked in bewilderment.

"Lari, you're soaked to the bone. I can't let you freeze out here either," Bard reasoned gently.

He had a point, no matter how much I wished to deny it. My lips had turned blue by this point, and I seemed to have lost the feeling in my ears and face. The only thing I could sense were the hot, angry tears that rolled down my cheeks.

"Come here," Bard said and I slowly walked into his open arms.

He wrapped his arms around my back tightly, enveloping me inside. Feeling safe and away from everyone, I allowed myself to sob freely against Bard's chest, wetting his sweater with my tears. Despite my foolish actions only moments before, I realized I really did not want to die. To be an offering meant certain death. I stayed in that position for a long time encased in Bard's strong arms, wishing the world would halt and not move any further.

* * *

I allowed Bard to walk me home without any more struggling. Quite frankly, I was exhausted at this stage both physically and emotionally. When we arrived at my house we both stood outside the front door wordlessly. I didn't want to go inside and I could tell Bard felt bad for making me do it.

"Lari-" he began.

"It's not your fault. Don't feel you are to blame," I reassured him before he could apologize.

Bard watched me open the front door. Before I entered, I stopped and turned around.

"Here," I said as I took off Bard's coat and handed it over.

"Your own coat is drenched. Keep mine for the night," he said, shaking his head.

It was his way of showing support. I nodded gratefully and walked inside the house. I gave Bard a brave face before closing the door behind me softly, although I felt anything but courageous.

Unable to bear seeing Aunt Maude and father's face, I ran past the kitchen and straight upstairs. Addy was waiting for me in the bedroom. I could see her eyes were red from crying and she was still dressed in her brown, work uniform. I closed the bedroom door softly and sat down on my bed, drained of any strength. Addy walked over and sat beside me.

"I heard what happened. I feel terrible," she said tearfully as she hugged me.

I rested my head against her chest and closed my eyes. I wanted this all to be a bad dream and that when I wake up everything will be back to normal. But when I opened my eyes again we were sitting on the bed together and I was still the next offering.

"Here, let's put some warm clothes on you," Addy said as she helped me out of Bard's coat.

She asked no questions as to why I was soaking wet, which I appreciated. She left the room and returned soon after, having found a crispy, dry towel and a clean nightgown for me. I got changed in silence and sat back down on my bed. Addy walked over behind me and began combing my hair with her brush. The rhythmic brushstrokes on my scalp was soothing and I felt like I was a child again with my mother brushing my hair.

"Your hair is so lovely and long. I've always been jealous of it," Addy said quietly as she worked through the tangles in my golden locks.

My hair was my only physical feature that I truly liked. It was soft and wavy, and flowed in golden shades. I liked it long because I remembered mother used to have her hair the same length when she was alive. Hers was also golden and father used to always caress and kiss it lovingly as if he was the happiest man alive.

"I was always envious of you, Addy. You're beautiful and funny, all the young men dream about courting you," I said honestly.

"Not Bard though," she replied in a teasing voice and I blushed without quite knowing why.

Addy smiled at my reaction, but then she stopped brushing my hair and hugged me hard.

"I really am sorry mother wrote your name down," she whispered and I felt her tears on my neck.

Addy was the same age as me, yet I was the one who was chosen to have the rug pulled out from under my feet. We both knew the reason why I was to be offered and not she was because Addy was Aunt Maude's child. There was no way Aunt Maude would send her only daughter to the fate she had assigned me. She may not give a care for me, but she loved Addy like any decent mother would love her baby. I didn't blame Addy for my misfortune though, not in the slightest. I turned around to face her pretty face that was blotched with tears, and locked my eyes with hers.

"Addy, you have no need to feel sorry at all. None of this is your fault, remember that. It's for the best, you will all be looked after," I said as I touched her cheek.

"It just pains me greatly to think nobody is looking after you," Addy replied sadly, her reply breaking me inside.

We slept beside each other on my bed, fitting together like two spoons. I lay awake all night with only the moon to keep me company. I tried to force sleep onto me. But whenever I closed my eyes I saw fire, darkness and a menacing yellow eye that did not look away from me once.

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 _ **Thanks for all the positive reviews :) They made me want to update earlier!**_


	3. Our Past and Present

**Chapter III: Our Past and Present**

* * *

Many, many life cycles ago before Esgaroth had even been built, there existed a city called Dale. Everyone living in my town had heard the tales of its glory and riches which came from the vast wealth that lay under the Lonely Mountain. Life was said to be prosperous then, one much different to what was seen at Esgaroth today. Business was good for the inhabitants of Dale as they could make trade with the dwarves of Erebor and the elves who resided deep within the forest of Mirkwood. It was known that the dwarves extracted great amounts of gold and jewels from the mines below the mountain, building their kingdom ever larger.

But the peacefulness could only last for so long. The riches that King Thor hid greedily beneath his halls attracted much attention from outsiders. Elves, goblins...and dragon. In three days, Smaug, the fire drake from the north, flew down and ripped through Dale and Erebor before claiming the mountain for his own. Families were ripped apart and many lives were slaughtered as Smaug destroyed everything in his path. Although brave men such as Lord Girion fought bravely against the monster, the city did not stop burning and all was quickly lost.

Villagers of Dale fled the wrath of the dragon, leaving their homes and all their possessions. They left everything they had and knew about the world, stumbling towards the Long Lake where the streams flowed into from the south. Hence, it was from dragon fire and ruin that Esgaroth was born.

Humbled people scrambled to find any means of surviving against the harsh winter conditions. My great grandfather's father crafted a dinghy from the broken wood panels and what scraps he could retrieve from the rubble. He rowed out across Long Lake where countless numbers of dead bodies floated around in the water with no grave. The determined man caught fish to feed himself as well as others, and taught invaluable fishing skills to his son who passed it down to my grandfather followed by my own father. The men in my family had been known as fisherman ever since, the title solidifying their position for many years and generations.

By the time my grandfather was born, stability was slowly being recovered within Esgaroth, but the villagers knew that a dragon's fiery rage could not be so easily put out. A mysteriously born prophecy detailing the destruction of Esgaroth by a dissatisfied Smaug soon spread like wildfire among the frightened villagers.

( _ **But all shall fail in sadness, and the Lake will shine and burn.**_ )

The self-elected Master of Esgaroth and his council hence came up with a solution in order to continue to dare live under the shadow of the dragon mountain. It was decided that at every second eve of the beginning of winter, one girl just entering womanhood was to be selected to sacrifice herself into the depth of the Lonely Mountain. In return for losing their precious daughter, her family would be gifted with three bags of gold and two sacks of flour. It was effectively a death sentence disguised as a blessing.

The chosen girl was given two days to prepare for her "honorable" leaving. On the morning of the ceremony of her offering, she was dressed in her best gown and fed well while villagers gathered to send her off. Nobody knew what happened to these girls once they were given up at the foot of the mountain, for none of them ever survived longer than one sunrise to tell the tale. There were plenty of rumors and speculation surrounding their deaths to go around over the years, but the only fact people were certain of was that the offering was one that should be feared and not hailed.

I woke up that morning feeling feverish and ill. The shock from last night was still very much fresh in my mind, and I had tossed and turned, having been robbed of any sleep. Outside, the sun had yet to beat the dawn mist resting on the snow-capped roof of the houses. My eyes were wide as I lay in bed, dreading the time that passed too quickly.  
 _I am the next offering. It is my turn to die_ , I thought to myself as tears welled up in my eyes.

I had only one day left before the offering. Suddenly, the idea of running away crossed my mind. If I slipped away now, nobody would know. It was a depressing prospect to live alone in the woods as a betrayer of the city, but at least I would be free to live and die on my own will. The only catch to this ludicrous plan was the law that stated that should the chosen girl abandon her prestigious duty, her entire family would be publicly executed. Addy stirred beside me but she did not wake up. I turned my body to the side and concentrated on her peaceful face. I could not have cared less for Aunt Maude, but in no way would I ever betray my sweet cousin by doing something as cowardly as that.

Very reluctantly, I lifted the covers and pulled my body off the hard mattress. It was silent outside with only the gentle lapping sound of the waves against the pillars of our house. I came out of the bedroom and walked down the stairs slowly, feeling every plank of wood under the soles of my feet. I was surprised to see that Aunt Maude was already up and busy in the kitchen. Through the window I could also see father sitting out in the balcony, blowing long smoke rings from his pipe. Aunt Maude looked up at me from the pot sitting on the stove.

"Come sit, Lari. Have some breakfast," she said briskly as she nodded at the dining table.

I sat on the chair gingerly, unfamiliar with the kind gesture. Aunt Maude opened the cupboard door above her head and pulled out a clean bowl. It was made of real porcelain and had twines of ivy painted on the rim.

"I thought we sold all our best tableware," I said in surprise.

"Well, we got them back," Aunt Maude answered in a neutral tone as she placed the bowl in front of me, refusing to elaborate further.

She brought the hot pot over to the counter before pouring a few ladles of the steaming porridge into the bowl. I moved the mixture around with my spoon, it appeared deliciously white and smooth. Yet, despite the fact that I had not eaten since yesterday lunch, I was not hungry. When I scooped a spoonful of the wet porridge into my mouth, it felt as though the morsel was lodged at the back of my throat and I struggled to swallow it. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Aunt Maude watching me silently from where she was standing beside the pot. I hastily wiped my mouth with the back of my sleeve and stood up.

"You have barely eaten," Aunt Maude said as a statement.

"Sorry. I'm not hungry," I answered as I made my way to the front door.

"Where are you going?"

"To meet Bard," I slipped my boots on and opened the door, Bard's coat hanging over my shoulder.

"Lari, wait!"

I heard the catch in Aunt Maude's voice and the fear she did not vocalize out loud. I knew she was afraid that I would run away across the lake and leave her to die. If I stayed at home she could keep her serpent eyes fixed on me, and coil herself around my body. I turned around to face Aunt Maude with hard eyes.

"Don't worry. I won't leave, I promise," I reassured her and walked out of the house.

Once outside, I closed the door firmly behind me before Aunt Maude could say anything more. Father was still sitting on his stool in the balcony, concealed under layers of smoke. Ignoring him, I jogged down the steps and onto the streets. Bard was already waiting for me in front of the carpentry store, his bloodshot eyes and ruffled hair indicating that he too had not slept well. Nevertheless he smiled when he saw me approach him, although the light did not quite reach his eyes. Seeing his face made me want to cry all over again, but I bit my lip hard and smiled back.

"Morning," I greeted, not knowing what else to say.

Bard walked over and pulled me into a tight embrace. I was surprised at first, but my body soon relaxed against his chest and I breathed in the leathery scent of his jacket. After a while Bard finally let me go, and I handed over his coat which had been hanging over my arm.

"Lari-" I stopped him before he could finish his sentence.

"No. Please, Bard. Can we pretend nothing is wrong, just for today? I need this," I pleaded as I put my finger onto his lips gently.

Bard nodded wordlessly and we walked down to the wharf together in silence. Villagers who passed us nodded with eyes expressing pity. Some people even smiled down at me, and I realized news that I had been chosen had spread amongst everyone. I could hear their silent thoughts as they stared at me; _her father lost his job and now she must put herself forward as an offering_. Their gesture did little to comfort me though, and I felt like I was back under the water, drowning beneath the lake.

"I need...space," I muttered to Bard.

"I know just the place."

He walked close beside me protectively, leading me to where his father's barge was floating alone on the lake.

"Father has given me permission to take his barge out for the morning," Bard said as he untied the ropes.

Eager to be able to escape the scrutiny, I boarded the vessel. Bard steered the barge skillfully through the ice out of Esgaroth. We soon arrived at the lone island and the same place Bard had taught me archery. Instead of making our way to the wide clearing though, we remained near the edge of the bank. The marshes could be seen vaguely in the easterly direction, beyond the bushes in the foreground.

"Where are the thrushes?" I asked, my voice lonely and loud against the silence of the woods.

"It is too early for them to sing. They have only just finished feeding," Bard answered my question softly.

I nodded and sat myself down onto the gravelly floor that was tinted with snowflakes. Bard knelt beside me, his presence giving me silent strength and reassurance. The icy water crept closer to our boots but pulled out before they reached us. I rested my chin on my knees and stared across Esgaroth in the distance. From where we were, the city appeared no larger than my fist.

"We are so small against the forces facing us," I said more to myself than Bard.

Bard looked at me with shiny eyes, "But size doesn't indicate power - think about the dwarves. Don't give up hope yet, Lari," he reasoned, and my lips cracked into a smile.

"Have you actually seen a real dwarf before?" I challenged in an amused way.

"No, but when I do I shall let you know," Bard answered as he chuckled loudly at the thought.

"Anyhow, I pray a great bowman will save me from my terrible fate," I teased as I nudged Bard with my elbow.

"Yes, your savior will defeat Smaug the dragon bring it down to the bottom of Long Lake. You need not fear," he played along with a grin.

"A true descendant of Girion he is. And what do I owe such a hero for his noble deed?" I asked with a gesture of feigned swoon.

"A kiss and a lifetime of bedtime tales," Bard answered cheekily.

In the end, we both broke out laughing until we had tears in our eyes, although neither of us knew why we found the banter entertaining.

We did not speak of Smaug's existence after that. Nothing that would remind us about the offering was mentioned. For me, I felt that our time together was far too short to be wasted on self-pity. So the rest of the morning was spent lying on our backs under the shade of an elm tree, exchanging poems and tales about our childhood heroes. We discussed our favorite seasons and skies, and sang the jolliest folk lyrics together. If a scouting elf or travelling dwarf were to pass us, they would have only seen two young people blissfully soaking up the sun's rays, all the while smiling into each other's eyes.

But the morning soon came to an end and we had no choice but to board the barge and sail once more across the lake, back to Esgaroth. It was just reaching late afternoon when we arrived back to the wharf. Bard walked with me back to my house, his eyes filled again with concern. We stopped at the steps to my front door. It appeared too tall and uninviting, and I felt it would swallow me whole.

"Will you be alright, Lari?" Bard asked softly when he saw the nervousness on my face.

I nodded and gave him a half smile before dragging myself up the steps.

"Lari," Bard called out suddenly and I turned my head around to face him.

His tone sounded strange, as if he needed to say something which required great effort.

"Yes?" I asked curiously.

Bard opened his mouth but then closed it, as if he had forgotten how to articulate the words on his tongue. Instead, he sighed and waved his hand.

"Just...You know I'm always here for you," he said eventually.

"I know," I answered, my lips stretching into a full smile.

Swallowing nervously, I opened the door before leaving Bard and stepping inside. I was unaware that this would be the last time I would speak to him, for a very long period.

* * *

The Master of Esgaroth and his fishy councilor were sitting around in the living area when I walked into the house. Aunt Maude and father were also present in the room, although Addy was not present - most probably out working. The Master stood up from his seat and extended his hand, which was dressed in many rings, out to me. His skin felt clammy and wet, and I silently recoiled at the touch.

"So the lucky lass finally shows herself!" The Master's voice boomed and bounced against the walls.

"To be chosen is a great privilege. You have brought honor to your family," his councilor added with a smirk that displayed his rotting teeth.

The comfort I had felt this morning with Bard fast evaporated, and was replaced with anger. _There is nothing honorable about this!_ I cried in my head. _You would have me killed if it means retaining your political power.  
_  
I said nothing aloud, and instead glared into the Master's face. He was an uncouth man, caring only about his wealth and status. Unaware of my rage, the Master belched so loudly his large belly vibrated, and he turned around to Aunt Maude.

"The parcels and gifts will be delivered tomorrow evening after the ceremony, all provided from the kindness of your council. I shall see you all tomorrow morning then," he informed us.

He did not bother to stop and listen to what words we had to say and abruptly stood up, signaling his leave. Aunt Maude was the only person who bowed down as the Master and his councilor bustled out of our narrow house. Father and I both remained standing, trying to grasp onto what little dignity we had left. Father had a pained expression in his eyes as he stared at my stony face. Still furious, I refused to make any eye contact with him and concentrated on the blank walls.

"Lari, I-" he began to plead.

"No! I don't want to hear your excuses, none of it!" I spat, not caring if I sounded childish, before running upstairs.

I locked my bedroom door behind me. Downstairs, I could hear father desperately making his way up to follow me but he was stopped by Aunt Maude.

"Let her be," she said in a low voice, and the sound of footsteps soon quieted down.

Unable to keep my emotions down any longer, I slid down to the wooden floor. I leant my head against the door and felt the tears fall down my cheeks, large drops at a time. I sobbed uncontrollably as I realized my fate had now truly been sealed once and for all. The tears gathered into a little puddle on the dark, timber floor panels. Outside, it had started to rain. I could see the dreams I had grown and nurtured over the years shatter and turn to dust. I was never going to be able to write that book of bedtime stories. I would never get married and bear children of my own.

The raindrops knocked against the window panes rhythmically, like a lullaby waiting for me to fall asleep once I had exhausted myself crying.

* * *

"Lari."

A gentle shake on my shoulders woke me up from my clouded sleep. I opened my eyes and saw Addy bending over me with worried eyes. It was still dark outside and the moon shone high up in the sky, providing a milky, white light in the room. My head was resting on Addy's knee and I stretched my arms up before sitting up from the floor.

"When did you arrive?" I asked, confused.

"About an hour ago. I found you asleep on the floor when I came in. The bedroom door was locked so I picked the keyhole." Addy explained and I winced guiltily.

"Sorry, that was my fault."

Addy stroked my long hair gently, her pretty face crumbled in distress. She shook her head at my apology with sympathetic eyes.

"It is us who need to seek your forgiveness. I can only imagine what you're going through, Lari," she said quietly.

I rested my head on Addy's shoulder, debating with myself whether or not to be honest.

"Oh, Addy. I'm so scared," I whispered eventually, speaking the truth that I had been pressing down inside me.

Now that I had said it aloud, I felt stripped and bare but in a sense relieved. Addy wrapped her arms around my shaking shoulders and held me tight. At that moments, she felt like my older sister more than my cousin.

"Try to get some more sleep. I'll watch over you," she offered kindly.

Her words comforted me greatly and I nodded and closed my eyes. After a long time, I drifted off to sleep with the feel of Addy's fingers running through my hair and the moon watching over the both of us. For once I did not fear the darkness of the night, and instead I feared the coming of the sunrise.


	4. First Meeting

**Chapter IV: First Meeting**

* * *

I was six years old when I became for the first time, fully aware of what the offering truly meant. I remember it being a scorching sunny day, despite winter just hiding behind a corner. Addy and I had stood and watched with the rest of the villagers as five tall guards carried a tearful girl through the stream of people. Some of the villagers who were watching clapped and blew kisses, but most of the women simply clasped their hands to their chest and shed silent tears for the poor, chosen girl. I recall watching uncomfortably as the girl who was dressed in a striking red dress as bright as a ruby gem moved past. She kicked and screamed as her body was forcibly dragged onto the boat. I never really forgot the way her eyes were full of terror and the sound of her wailing cries that poured out of her opened mouth rip across the lake as the boat sailed away from the wharf. I heard those same chilling cries in my dream, only this time the girl screaming was me.

In the morning of my own ceremony, I was woken up by a group of four ladies from the village who had been sent by the Master of Esgaroth to formally "dress me up" as they had put it. They bustled around me, gossiping in loud voices as they pulled the traditional scarlet dress over my head, covered my arms with bracelets decorated from shells, and doused me in nauseating amounts of perfume. Addy was promptly sent out of the bedroom, leaving me even lonelier than I was before, despite all the people who were fussing over me. Every five minutes I found myself staring outside the bedroom window hopefully for the familiar outline of Bard amongst the growing crowd, only to be disappointed when I could not find him.

"Only family is permitted to see you until the ceremony, dearie," one of the older ladies said to me kindly, having noticed my expectant looks out the window.

"Oh..." my voice trailed off in disappointment and I stared down at my hands which were pale and clammy.

Another woman who had thin hair that was tied in a large weave, tugged at the sleeves of my dress impatiently.

"The sleeves are much too short. Look, they climb right above her wrist. The girl is too tall," she said with a frown, as if it was my fault the dress did not fit well.

"Stop fussing and just roll them up, Dell," the old lady snapped at the woman before smiling at me, "Don't mind her, dearie. You're going to look lovely for the ceremony," she reassured.

"Yes, it's very brave of you to offer yourself like that," one of the other younger ladies chimed in from the back of the room.

"I...I didn't volunteer," I said as Dell roughly pulled the sleeves of my dress up.

"No? No, of course not," the lady went very pink and embarrassed at my reply.

She did not appear to be more than a few years older than I was. I felt envious of her at that moment - she was no longer young enough to be eligible as an offering. I chose to look away, back outside the window. The lake stretched far beyond where my eyes could see. The lady who had snapped at Dell earlier combed through my long hair with a comb made of smooth ivory.

"Normally we tie the hair into a plait, but not for you, dearie. You have beautiful hair, we don't want to hide it," she said as she clucked over me.

There was a sharp knock at the door. Before anyone could answer, the door swung open and one of the Master's guards stood waiting on the other side. He had a stern look on his face and his eyes were partly covered by a set of brown, bushy eyebrows.

"The ceremony is to begin shortly. Is she ready?" He asked, not bothering to spare even a glance in my direction.

"Yes, she's ready," the old lady answered the guard before looking back at me.

"We will leave first. You follow out after us, duckie," she said and I nodded with a bite of my lip.

The ladies left the room as loudly as they were when they had come in, the door closing behind their excited voices with a small bang. I was once again left alone, alone to face my fears. The room was so silent now that there was nobody else but me, and I could hear the panicked, unequal sounds of my own breathing. _How much longer_ , I thought to myself as I stood motionless.

The handle on the door turned clockwise and the wooden panel softly creaked open. I turned around expecting the guardsman again, but was relieved to see Addy standing at the door.

"I came to bring you down. The Master is waiting in the living room with mother and uncle," she said tentatively.

I didn't answer and shifted my eyes to my reflection staring back at me in the tall mirror standing against the rear wall of the room. I looked completely different, an older and more pale version of myself. Behind me, I could hear Addy's soft footsteps approach me.

"You look beautiful, Lari," she said before breaking into tears, her pretty face crumbling with emotion.

"Please don't cry. I don't want our last moments to feel like this," I pleaded, my own eyes blinking hard.

Addy nodded and hastily wiped her eyes with the hem of her dress. I could see she too was wearing her best outfit, the navy gown which was only brought out of the wardrobe for special occasions. She walked over and rested her head on my shoulders as we both stared into the mirror standing in front of us without speaking. My pastel face stared back at her pretty one. Addy was a beautiful and delicate girl. She came up to no more than my shoulders and her large, doe eyes gazed at our reflections sadly. Her skin was smooth and flawless with no complexion - at times her beauty had made me ache with envy.

I on the other hand bared very little resemblance to my precious cousin, no matter how much I longed to be so. Tubbiness was not the word I would have described my appearance as, more like large boned. I was tall and had broad shoulders (fisherman's build, as the villagers called them), a trait I had inherited from my father. My arms felt too long in comparison to the rest of my body so I carried an air of awkwardness wherever I went. But I at least had my mother's golden hair. Over the years I had painstakingly grown my locks until they reached down to my hips in gentle ripples. They were soft but thick, and glowed a pale yellow when I stood under the afternoon sun.

"We should go down," Addy whispered eventually and I nodded.

"I'm going to miss you," I whispered my goodbye and Addy squeezed me around my waist with a pained expression.

We left the room and walked down the stairs together as slowly as we could, in order to prolong the dreaded moment. But the steps inevitably came to an end and we arrived at the living room where Aunt Maude and father were sitting with the Master on new upholstered chairs. The ladies who had dressed me up earlier had already packed up and left. The Master jumped to his feet when he saw us walk in, and he clapped his hands in satisfaction.

"Splendid! You look absolutely marvelous, perfect for the occasion!" The Master cooed with a superficial smile on his oily face.

Aunt Maude followed the Master's action and also stood up from her seat. Father remained where he was as he smoked wordlessly on his pipe with a dark look in his eyes.

"I would like to see Bard. I want my friend...please," I said, looking away.

"But my darling, the ceremony has already begun! We are running late on schedule as it is," the Master replied in a forced, bright voice.

"Surely she can be spared a few moments?" Addy stood close to me and defended my case, though it seemed to do little to change anything.

"The villagers have all gathered on the streets to see Lari off. Listen to the Master," Aunt Maude said and I noticed the way her eyes darted nervously towards the Master, afraid his good mood would turn sour.

The Master burped under his breath and straightened his velvet jacket. He signaled to the guard standing beside him who opened the front door.

"Well, it was nice to meet you, Lari. Your honorable deed will not be forgotten," he had barely finished the sentence before his ginger hair disappeared out of the door.

His actions repulsed me and I found myself wondering how on earth a foul man like him could have become the Master of Esgaroth. I was so nervous and caught up in my own thoughts that I almost did not notice that everyone in the room was staring at me. Aunt Maude stood hesitantly in front of me for a few moments, unsure of what to do. Eventually, she patted my back awkwardly a couple of times.

"You are making the right choice, Lari," she said in a tone that even contained some remorse.

I chose to ignore her statement and instead tightly hugged Addy one final time before making my way towards the front door. Before I could leave though, I was stopped by father who had stood up from his chair.

"Lari," he called out in such a pleading voice that I had to stop and turn to face him.

"Your mother loved you, Lari, despite what you may think," he said in a strangled voice, causing me to stare at him in surprise for bringing up the topic of my mother.

"She made me promise her to always look after you when you were born. I tried, Lari...I-" he continued, but he was cut off abruptly by me.

"Save it," I spat the words before I could stop myself, cleansing out the bitter taste of betrayal that covered my tongue like poison.

I turned and left without a goodbye, feeling cold and bitter. As I slammed the door behind me, I could hear father continue to call out my name.

Had I known that I would regret this decision to leave like this for the rest of my life, I would have forgiven father as soon as I had stepped out of the house forever.

* * *

I had not expected to be greeted by so many people. It appeared as though the entire village had taken a moment out of their lives to gather at our street. Yet despite the number of people present, the city was quiet and the feeling of hopelessness loomed over people's heads. Two guards took their place at either side of me. Another two stood grim-faced behind the Master who unlike the villagers appeared lively and jolly.

"The honorable girl is here!" He boomed with his arms raised in the air when he saw me.

At the Master's call the villagers began to applaud, though it was without spirit nor joy. I stared in front of me, unsmiling, and my eyes searched for Bard's face among the gathering. I felt shattered when I could not spot him before the two guards beside me gently pushed me to begin walking down towards the wharf where the boat was waiting to carry me across the lake. They were not rough with me but firm, their grim faces indicating they were only doing their job. As I passed the people on my way, I noticed how many of them bowed their heads subtly as if it was a silent show of their respect. I didn't feel very brave, however their gesture gave me the drop of strength that I needed at that moment.

"Lari!" Somebody called my name out from a distance.

My heart started beating at the familiar voice and I frantically began to scan the faces amongst the stream of villagers for his face.

"Bard? Bard!" I called out desperately when I could not find him.

"Lari, I'm here!" Bard answered again but already his voice sounded further away than the first time.

I stopped walking and was instantly forced to keep moving by the guards.

"Do not stop," one of them ordered.

Automatically I began to resist, my senses fixed on trying to spot Bard. Suddenly the guards became rough and impatient, and I felt their arms grab my shoulders and push me forwards. The way they squeezed my arm hurt. I was not strong enough to resist against two fully grown men despite my efforts. Anyhow I fought back, pulling away and dragging my feet against the ground. The villagers watched as I struggled, their pitiful stares burning my skin. Still I persevered.

"Please, let me speak with him," I pleaded, ignoring the looks I was receiving.

I could feel tears rising in my eyes at the thought that I would not be able to see Bard before I left, before I died. The guards seemed to weaken at my plea, their eyes less blunt and displaying more pity at the disoriented girl in front of them.

"Sorry - Master's orders," one of them replied simply, though his hold on me slackened slightly.

We made the rest of our way towards the wharf in silence. By the time I had boarded the boat, all will to fight had left me, and I felt nothing but sadness and defeat.

* * *

The sail across Edoras was smooth, for not even a breeze blew across the frozen clouds. The guards had at least had the tactfulness to let me sit alone in privacy and they stayed near the bow of the vessel away from me. As I sat in silence I suddenly found myself thinking about that girl who I had seen when I was six years old. _Was this what she had felt when she had been forced onto the boat that morning?_

 _Did she have family?_

 _Did anyone care for her?  
_  
The boat carried us towards the land that stretched in the opposite direction to Esgaroth. I was escorted out by the guards who led me away from the bank and up a steep hill. Grey stone and moss covered every inch of the monotonous terrain. Suddenly the upwards hike came to an end and I found myself standing at the foot of the Lonely Mountain itself. Its single peak looked sad and menacing at the same time, and I involuntarily shivered in my thin dress. I looked behind me to see the guards standing a few feet away, unwilling to come any closer.

"This is where we leave you," one of them said grimly, avoiding my eyes as he spoke.

At my confused expression the other guard pointed towards the face of the mountain. I followed the direction of his finger and my eyes stopped in front of a narrow opening through the wall. It looked like a long tunnel, just wide enough to fit one person. I stared back at the guards incredulously.

"You slide through the tunnel," the guard said in a low voice as if the answer was obvious.

A ripple of wind blew around us, cutting through the silence that followed his words. I stared back at the hole that was shadowy and uninviting.

"What will I find down there?" I asked eventually.

Another long silence followed my question. I could see that neither of the guards appeared very enthusiastic in giving their response.

"We don't know," the guard answered eventually.

He continued to speak after a slight pause, "May you be protected from whatever malice awaits you below."

I felt a lump form in my throat at those words and I clenched my fists tight. It was too late to turn back now. I nodded at the two guards before taking tentative steps towards the tunnel. Up close, it appeared narrower and dropped sharply. Pulling one leg over at a time, I perched myself at its edge, the only thing stopping me from slipping down being my hands which gripped the rock above my head.

"Mother, please stay with me," I whispered aloud to myself.

After taking one final look into the dark hole in front of me, I closed my eyes tight. With a deep breath I released my grip on the rocks and let my body fall.

* * *

I was pulled left and right, banging against the walls as I slid down the long passageway fast. The speed at which my body tumbled down was frightening and I believe I would have screamed had I not surrendered completely to my apparent fate. After what felt like an age, the ride ended and I fell against a metallic floor.

When I looked down I found I was lying on a bed of coins and jewels. I could see that the entire chamber was filled with so much gold, more than I had ever seen in my whole life. I sat up nervously, the coins rattling noisily as my body shifted. The clanking sound echoed across the empty room. The place was so deadly quiet that I could hear my own breathing over the gold pieces that slid over each other.

A sudden growl from afar made me jump in fright, and I realized a moment too late that the chamber was far from empty. I was in fact, breathing the same air as a live dragon. Before I could catch my breath, the jeweled floor beneath my feet parted in the middle and coins were flung into the air as the monster erupted out from his slumber. I scrambled towards the corner, terrified to even make a sound.

"You cannot run, human," Smaug mocked, his voice rolling like an avalanche.

"Why do you hide when you already know your fate?" His voice continued to ring in my ears.

His voice was so deep and inhuman that it made my heart tingle in fear. The sheer size of his body was partly concealed under the gold so I saw only his long neck and face that bared a pair of yellow eyes as bright as the sun. Realizing the complete pointlessness of trying to run away, I crept out from under the stone ledge from where I had been hiding under.

"There you are, human. You smell better than the other ones who came before you," Smaug said, his large lips curling into a sneer that showed his sharp teeth.

The way he stared at me hungrily made me feel sick.

I honestly thought I was ready to die.

Death should not feel so fearful, yet that was all I felt as those huge eyes bore into mine. At that precise instant, I felt my instincts kick inside of me – my instinct to survive. I did not want to die by having my flesh ripped open by an enormous fire-breathing snake.

I had to survive this.

My fate had yet to be etched in stone.


	5. Flames and Waves

**Chapter V: Flames and Waves**

* * *

It was at that moment where Smaug loomed over me that I remembered an advice regarding the subject of dragons. It was something Bard's father had once told me as a passing comment as we waited together for the fish to bite by the wharf. _Dragons are frightening and sharp creatures. They crave riddles and tales of all the ages._

"I...you are as great and…and…as magnificent as people say you are," I stammered as I bowed low.

"What do they call you, woman?" Smaug ignored my comment and asked in a rumbling tone.

He raised himself up from his golden blanket so that his upper body was now in full view. His red scales gleamed fiercely though very little natural light reached all the way down to the chamber.

"Lari," I had to attempt a couple of times for I had lost my voice at the sight of this predator in front of me.

"Lari? A simple name for a simple human," Smaug seemed to muse to himself before continuing, "And why are you here in my kingdom of gold, _Lari_?"

I opened and closed my mouth like a fish, speechless at his question. _Say something!_ The voice in my head shrilled in panic. What should I say? I knew my life depended on this single answer, I could tell the dragon was testing me in a strange way. He was borderline insane and heartless, but he had _wit_. Seeing that I had cottoned on to his scheme, Smaug let out a cruel laugh. It caused the entire floor beneath me to vibrate violently.

"You are not as stupid as the other girls, I see. But your silence does little to ease my patience. Your life hinges on my single breath and whether or not I choose to burn you alive. So let me ask you the question again, and you shall speak your answer carefully. Who are you, child of men?"

My mind raced frantically as I sought for the correct answer. _Stimulate his interest_ , I reminded myself. _Show him what you are capable of. Keep him entertained.  
_  
In a shaky voice that failed completely at hiding how terrified I was, I replied, "I...I am...the Storyteller."

My voice echoed loudly in the cold, metallic room and bounced against the marble walls. I could feel myself swallowing hard as I waited for Smaug to break the silence. For a while he did not speak, only stared at me with those yellow eyes that contained a pair of blood-red pupils. I feared I had made the wrong decision with choosing my words and expected the worst to come. Perhaps I would be shred to pieces or have the flesh melted right off my bones in the blink of an eye.

I expected scorn on his part for my feeble effort to please him, even anger. I had not expected him to laugh. It came out a ground shaking rumble, and Smaug's nostrils flared out as he chortled loudly. I stared blankly at the obviously amused beast in front of me, unsure of what to do next. Smaug crept closer towards me and I involuntarily took a step back as the gold coins beneath my feet parted away.

"Your words have tickled my interest, human," he hissed and I felt the hot air of his breath on my face.

As I lifted my arm to push the hair out of my eyes I realised my hands were shaking uncontrollably. I dared not speak until I was told to do so, in fear of enraging the dragon before me. Thankfully, Smaug's volatile mood seemed to have passed and he rested his long neck onto his front leg. He coiled his tail behind me so that I now stood in a ring of his red scales.

"Storyteller you call yourself," he said and I barely nodded.

"If you are a weaver of tales, then you must certainly have one up your sleeve," he hissed and smoke puffed out from his nostril.

I stared at the reptile face in surprise followed quickly by panic. I had no tale worth telling a dragon, especially one who was centuries old. Smaug's good mood suddenly appeared to evaporate and he growled at my long drawn silence.

"Are you deaf, or has fear turned your head to stone and withered your tongue? I demand a story!" He snarled and I sensed his monstrous character which had been cleverly hidden now begin to surface.

"Yes, yes of course," I rambled in a hurry, snapping back into focus.

Smaug's yellow eyes glowed blazingly as he waited for me to start telling the tale I did not yet have. The danger was still present, but I could also see an interest in his stare and an expression that contained a sinister excitement.

I swallowed a couple of times to generate enough saliva in my dry mouth.

"A great fire burnt through the city of Dale.  
All who stood against the heat were doomed to fail," I said, the first few words coming out as a croak.

I had never been very good with rhymes. As children, Bard had always been one step ahead of me whenever we took turns calling out pairs of words that rhymed together. _Cat and mat, barge and large, breath and death_.  
Anyhow, that was a long time ago and I now had a sixty-five foot dragon to entertain.

Realising my words were referring to him, Smaug purred in a low tone, displaying his obvious pleasure. I breathed out a silent relief in choosing an appropriate subject.

In a louder voice I continued, "The dancing flames licked the walls.  
The people screamed and cried as they watched their dwellings fall."

I paused for a moment and licked my lips nervously. A smirk had formed on Smaug's lips as he listened to the recount of his destruction on Dale with glee. It had become clear as water to me by this point that the dragon was, without question, utterly deranged. I felt guilty for verbally undermining the lives of those victims who had perished in the burning of the city. But I knew I had to keep talking and bide my time, no matter how selfish it was of me to think so.

"Away from the smoke, towards the water they fled,  
leaving only the crows to feed on the dead.  
For the scorching of dragon fire felt on the flesh  
lasts beyond its burn and the strength of men," I finished abruptly, having quickly been dried of words.

Smaug seemed dissatisfied and his eyes grew wide in disappointment.

"That is all? It is not very long. You carve fine words, Storyteller, but the head of your tale lies too close to the end," he exclaimed with a huff.

I shrugged apologetically, though I could feel myself relax slightly. _At least he enjoyed listening to it_ , I thought to myself. It seemed I now had an idea that could potentially keep me alive and survive a coexistence with this dragon.

"Is that all you have to present for your case?" Smaug interrogated me, the flash of menace returning in his glare.

"Oh, mighty Smaug," I replied with a bow, "That was only the beginning - a prelude to the true tale."

Smaug grinned and brought his head closer to my face. Up close, I could see his enormous front teeth which were longer than my arm lengthwise.

"You are a fine jester, Storyteller. Come then, let us hear your fine tale," he said, a sense of eagerness rubbed in the tone of his voice.

Knowing that what I was about to say next would not go down well, I took a deep breath.

"No," the single answer required extreme effort to force out of my mouth.

A short silence followed my deliberate defiance. Feeling strangely out of air, I breathed in deeply a couple of times. I could see the rage building in Smaug's eyes. He seemed rather taken aback at my refusal, as if he was unsure how to react. I felt a sudden heat on my face, and I realised the air the dragon breathed out was much hotter than that of the atmosphere.

"What did you say?" Smaug asked eventually as angry, black smoke escaped from his airway.

Fear made my lower lips quiver and the back of my dress to become drenched in sweat. But nonetheless I held my chin up and stared at the dragon face-on. Strangely, the fact that I had nothing to lose but my life gave me more courage than anything.

"I said no," I repeated, "you must wait for the sun to set."

"And you, insignificant child! You may never live to see another sunrise!" Smaug threatened as he suddenly wrapped his tail around my hips.

He was much stronger than I had imagined and I struggled against his tight grip on me. But I knew I had to stand my ground - otherwise I truly will be dead by nightfall.

"Even so, I will not begin the tale today. If you decide to kill me now you will never get to hear the story," I reasoned through gritted teeth.

The pressure on my hips were beginning to hurt and I wriggled desperately, to no avail. I felt like the small fish I had seen the black cat, that used to visit, play around with before getting eaten.

"I could torture you until you agree to speak. I could melt away your milky flesh with my fire and crack every bone in your body with my strength," he said with a look of triumph in his eyes for introducing fresh fear inside of me.

He squeezed my hips tighter and I gasped at the sharp pain on my abdomen. I seemed to have enraged him beyond his interest in hearing the tale. _Too late now_ , a voice stated bluntly inside my head. In between my desperate panting to breathe in enough air, I presented my final argument.

"And what good will a crippled girl be to you? You will be left with no story to listen to, nobody to talk to, and only a broken body," I gasped out, believing these to be my final words before I died.

Smaug considered my words, for I had made a good point. His yellow eyes stared at me as I struggled to breathe under his strangling hold. Finally the iron grip loosened and I dropped to the ground, gasping the air hungrily.

"Very well," Smaug said, his eyes still glaring at my face, "You may begin next sunrise. But if your tale does not satisfy me, I shall make sure you regret ever holding your tongue."

He turned and walked away, the floor rumbling with his every step. I stood where I was, confused. Was I expected to follow him? I stared longingly at the never ending stairs that led out of the gold chamber, even though I knew the main entrance was sealed shut centuries ago. As if he read my mind, Smaug looked at me with a side glace.

"You are not to leave this chamber, or make a sound until I tell you to do so," he ordered as he began burying himself into the treasure.

I watched wordlessly as his body disappeared under the sea of gold that was all around us. Most of his red scales were covered, but his eyes remained focused on me. Even when the dragon finally closed his eyes, a part of me could sense him watching me, guarding me.

Slowly, I made my way across the room, feeling the hard jewels dig into the sole of my shoes as I trudged over them. I stopped in front of the edge of the tunnel which I had slid through only an hour ago, and yet it already felt as though a lifetime had passed. I stared into the dark opening which was too steep to climb out of, not that I would have survived escaping if it had been flat as a plate. A draft blew from the tunnel, it's soft, breeze suddenly causing a tear to fall onto my cheeks. I may have been able to prolong my life for one more day, but quite frankly I had no real plan as to how to escape and save myself. Afraid that my crying would wake Smaug, I hastily slapped my hand onto my mouth and swallowed hard. I lay my head onto the cold, metallic ground and shut my eyes. _This is all a dream,_ I tried to lie to myself. _When you open your eyes everything will be back to normal._

 _Everything will be alright..._

* * *

"Wake up, human."

I woke up with a start at the loud voice. Nothing had changed when I opened my eyes. I was still stuck in the gold chamber with a dragon who now expected a new tale from me. Smaug was up and looking down at me from his height. He was not surrounding me like he had before, but was still a close enough distance to be threatening. Playing for time, I pulled myself up slowly, pretending to still be doused with the sleep I had not had.

"Did you sleep well? I have to admit that the floor is harder and cold than I had imagined," I tried to lighten the mood but my voice came out as a terrified squeak.

"Begin the second tale," Smaug said immediately as he glared at me with eyes that irradiated a bright, yellow glow.

I sat with my legs crossed so that the hem of my dress covered my legs. After a brief pause, I began in the same low voice I used whenever I told stories to Addy back at home.

"The round moon sighed  
when he caught her floating on the tide.  
Her body was caught up between the knots and ties of the fishing net.  
The wires cut through her tail  
that shimmered blindly, still shiny and wet."

Smaug's jaw remained stiff as he listened without moving a muscle. The storytelling had however, calmed me down somewhat.

I eyed the beast wearily as I continued, "Her wide blue fin flapped when she saw him push through the waves.  
Her tail slapped the water,  
her face frightened and grave.  
Alarm was evident in her bewitching green eyes.  
They were open wide and ever awake.  
Her golden hair shone white under the moonlight,  
as it wept silently from the touch of the lake."

The burning glare which had displayed so much rage before now seemed to weaken slightly as Smaug became more interested. Strangely, as I saw the expression change within him, I felt something new inside of me. It was not fear or panic. It felt warmer and I dare say, more hopeful. For once I felt like I was doing something right, that I had a chance of escaping. All I had to do was play the game correctly.

Sensing the timing was right, I stretched my arms out and sighed.

"Did I tell you to stop?" Smaug demanded and I shrugged.

"I need to rest for a bit," I replied, feigning a tired voice.

Smaug's eyes grew wide at my response and blatant lie, and he growled angrily. His reaction did not scare me as it had before. I knew he wanted to hear the story, and his curiosity in itself was a weakness and my advantage. However, his response yet again passed what I had expected.

"You think this act you put on will keep you alive?" Smaug asked as he smirked.

"…Yes," I answered honestly after a long pause, feeling it was hopeless to come up with an excuse.

"Well, let me make it clear to you. It won't," the dragon said in order to taunt me, "I will kill you, just like I killed the other girls. You are no different to the others, never forget that."

"No, please don't say that," I denied helplessly, shaking my head in order to convince myself.

"I killed each and every one of them, and fed on their dying flesh."

"You're insane and a monster," I could not help shouting back bitterly.

Smaug merely laughed cruelly at my response.

"You may continue in a few hours, Storyteller," he said, surprising me once again.

He turned away when I did not reply. I breathed heavily in a mixture of terror and upset. I made my way to the corner of the chamber, getting as far away from the dragon as I could. Drops of perspiration had formed at the tip of my nose which I wiped away with my sleeve along with the tears. A few minutes passed in silence between us.

"Mermaids come from the seas in Arda," Smaug said suddenly in a distant voice that almost sounded like he was speaking to himself.

Despite myself, I become curious. I had heard of mermaids in poems, but never seen one in the flesh. When I was little, I had dreamed about finding them swimming swiftly across the Long Lake.

 _Curiosity always kills the cat, Lari._ Ignoring the words nagging in my head, I crept out of my corner once again, cautiously approaching Smaug who seemed uninterested in me when I was not his storyteller. I stopped around ten feet away from him and crouched down low.

"Have…have you seen a mermaid before?" I asked quietly, watching his response carefully.

"Born out of the waters, gems of the lakes. Their beauty was unmatched by any race, not even that of the Children of Illuvitar," Smaug continued as if he had not heard my question, "But they disappeared with the sailing of the ships."

I listened in awe, envisioning hundreds of merpeople riding the tides swimming further away into the horizon. I imagined their glittering tails flash out of the water, reflecting off the white sheets of the sails.

"Why…why did they leave?" I asked, still completely mesmerised.

Smaug looked at me, as if he had noticed me for the first time. His eyes were calm and in lament, the bright yellow of his cornea dulling to a kinder shade of orange.

"Why would they stay, when they had a choice to leave?" He answered my question in a deep voice that for some reason, tugged at my heart and made me long to see the fair merpeople.

"Tell me, Lari," Smaug continued as he did not break eye contact from me. "Have you ever wished to leave? Have you ever pined for something you cannot have?"

His eyes were shiny like glass and he had his head resting on his front leg as if in deep contemplation. I stared at the dragon in wonder. For a creature of his size and menace, he had a sensitive side that made me feel less fearful. His question just now even sounded almost human.

"Nobody has asked me that before," I whispered, "…Yes. I guess I have wished to see what lies beyond the lake. I have craved to see the elves and dwarves, and forests that stretch beyond my sight."

Smaug simply nodded his head at my answer. Although he said nothing, something told me he understood how I felt completely.

The lighting in the chamber began to dim, and the thousands of gold leaves sparkled less as the natural light disappeared. Although I could not see the outside, I imagined a brilliant sunset and a sun that sank slowly behind the tall mountain.


	6. A Message

**Chapter VI: A Message**

* * *

"Continue the story."

I was sitting on the floor cross-legged, with Smaug lying a mere few feet away from me. The chamber was now dark with not a single ray of natural light left, and I could only make out the large silhouette of the dragon's head. The dimmed shadow made by the night seemed to soften the sharpness of Smaug's features and I felt less intimidated by his presence. Well, at least the shaking in my legs had stopped and my heart pounded less against my chest. The few hours I had been spared had allowed some clarity to my thoughts and I felt some calmness seep within the cracks of my doubt. I thought of Addy and Bard and the rest of the people I knew back at home, how they must all believe me to be dead by now. They were perfectly justified in assuming this, and perhaps I would be killed after all, despite my efforts. Nonetheless, the gossamer possibility that I _could_ come out of this ordeal alive was enough for me to keep trying. I think I did wonder about father during those long-drawn hours, though I could not remember for certain.

I sat up a little straighter. Smaug's yellow eyes glowed slightly brighter as he stared down at me. Trying to ignore his stare, I looked straight ahead at the stone wall and began to speak.

"The fisherman stared in awe at her fair face,  
how her pale skin shivered as swam past the dace."

I imagined a beautiful merwoman, naked and afraid, but curious with hundreds of silver fish swimming past her in the emerald water. When I finally looked up at Smaug I could tell he too was picturing my words in his mind.

"He took her home  
To make her his own,  
Back to his humble cottage.  
And so two became one  
Beside the warmly lit hearth,  
Back at their humble cottage."

Smaug rested his chin on his paw which reminded me of the black cat that used to visit our bedroom. He shifted his long tail that extended behind and around my body, so that I was beckoned closer to him in a non-dangerous manner. I swallowed but strangely I was not terrified of this volatile monster as I was less than twelve hours ago. We both sat still for a couple of moments.

"They fell in love," Smaug stated after a long pause.

"Yes, I guess you could say that," I answered.

The kind, orange shade in his eyes had returned, indicating it was safe for me to continue.

In a softer voice I spoke again, "Night became day and the weeks turned to months.  
She sang songs as she sat under the sun  
To the babe sleeping in her arms,  
who knew no tunes of her own, none.  
Lyrics of the old and young and the vain,  
Of love and heartache,  
Of joy and pain.  
The fisherman, now her husband,  
Whistled along as he carried home his catch of fresh fish  
Every evening before the sky darkened."

"Her hair was golden," Smaug stated again suddenly when I finished speaking, remembering my words from before.

His eyes brightened as he stared in abrupt realization at my own yellow hair streaming down my shoulders. I guess I should not have been so surprised this intelligent beast had caught me out so early on.

"None of the other ones had hair like yours," he continued with an intense gaze fixed on me.

I shrugged and dug the metal coins with the toe of my shoe distractedly. The air around us was warm, despite the frosty night time that had crept in.

"Have you ever been in love?" Smaug asked, still eyeing my hair obsessively.

I had not expected that question but then again, I did not understand the way the minds of dragons worked. So far all I understood about Smaug was that he could be both cold and heartless, yet at the same time incredibly sensitive. However, a larger problem for me was that I did not have a solid answer.

 _Have I ever loved someone, the way my father had loved my mother? What does it feel like to love another so deeply that you become a completely different person when you lose them? Would I ever get the chance to experience it?_

Sensing Smaug was waiting for my response, I picked up a rose quartz gem and played around with it in my hands. It felt cool and slippery against my skin, calming my senses.

"I love my family and my friends. There are many forms of love," I explained as I tried to evade having to answer the real question.

Smaug seemed hardly bothered by my reluctance and instead he brought his face up closer to my own. The tips of our noses were almost touching and I swear I could feel the intense heat irradiating out of his gaze. I swallowed hard, afraid that his mood had taken a bad turn. Fortunately, the pupils of Smaug's eyes remained lucid, although he refused to break eye contact with me.

"What does it feel like? Tell me, Storyteller, how does it feel to _love_?" His rolling voice echoed against the piles of gold and seemed to linger above our heads like the smoke left from putting out the fire.

I knew not how to answer his question. Of course, I could have told him what I _thought_ love should feel like. There were not many books available in Esgaroth, for most people were far too preoccupied finding ways to survive let alone read words inked on paper. But I had still managed to grab myself a handful to read, with the help of Bard's father who used to sneak Bard and I a couple of books each time he made exchanges with the elves. My favorite tale had been that of Beren and Lúthien, and I remember imagining about those two lovers at night as I waited for the waves to sing me to sleep.

However that did not necessarily mean I truly understood what it meant to fall in love. I also knew that Smaug would not have believed any of my words if they were not completely true, especially when I did not trust in them myself. He was much too smart to fall for such fabrication.

"Is love as painful as mortal beings claim it feels?" Smaug continued to press me for a response.

Perhaps the goddess of luck was finally taking my side, for I ended up not having to answer the question at all. Before I could speak a word, our conversation was interrupted by a quiet ' _clank_ ' sound from behind us. My eyes instinctively travelled to the source of the noise, as did Smaug who snapped his head away from me in surprise and annoyance.

I frowned when I did not notice anything remarkably different about our surroundings. It took a moment longer before my eyes caught sight of an unusual lump directly below the opening of the tunnel which I had slid through to enter the chamber. It appeared far too bulky and soft-edged to be a jewel, but the darkness made it difficult for me to be certain. My gaze travelled to Smaug who now appeared completely unconcerned about my presence, his eyes glued to the strange parcel that had tumbled down from the tunnel. Keeping my eyes on Smaug, I carefully made my way over to the package, the soft clanking of metal clapping at my feet.

When I got close enough, I bent down and gingerly picked the parcel up with my hands. It was about the size of both my fists put together, and wrapped up in brown paper. The parcel was slightly warm and the unmistakable aroma of fresh bread tickled my nose. I had not eaten a single morsel of food since the morning. Up until now the adrenaline and fear had masked any hunger I should have felt over the long hours. But as soon as I had drank the first real scent of food, my mouth began salivating uncontrollably and I eagerly peeled the paper away. Under the wrapping, there was a single loaf of bread with cheese and pickle slices tucked inside.

It was not the sight of food that caused tears to well up in my eyes and my chest to grow tight. It was because there was only one person who would have purposefully sent me a cheese and pickle bread loaf. My childhood memories flooded back to me as I stared down at the soft, brown bread in my hands. There was one particular memory that stood out more than the others. It was the one when I was ten years old. I had managed to convince myself that elves would sail over Edorath. Of course, it was nothing more than my over excited imagination, but it had kept me smiling like I had a secret and had me looking forward to the end of the day. When the sun finally set, I snuck out of my bedroom window and hurried over to the wharf. It had been particularly windy that evening and as I sat perched at the edge of the wharf with my eyes glued to the lake, the frosty air had cut through the thin layers of my night clothes. I saw no elves in the end but managed to catch a dreadful cold instead. Aunt Maude had been all but sympathetic, and I was grounded and bedridden for a week.

Anyway, the reason that memory suddenly sprang to my mind was because while I had been stuck inside my bedroom, unattractively ill, Bard had visited me every day for the whole week. Each time he came he would bring with him a loaf of bread with cheese and pickle. I only found out years later that he had skipped his own breakfast meals to bring me something he thought would make me feel better.

I stroked the crust with my thumb, imagining how Bard must have trekked up the mountain to send me this, all the while not knowing if I was even alive.

"Who sent you that?" Smaug's authoritative voice cut through my thoughts, causing me to look up at the yellow eyes boring into the bread.

"A friend...I think," I said softly, as I hastily wiped the tears from my eyes with the back of my hand.

 _A friend who hasn't given up on me. A friend who I never realized until now how important he was to me._

"Did I allow it?" Smaug interrogated me dangerously.

I looked at him with an expression that showed defiance. Bard's gift had given me the courage I needed.

"I have to eat. I cannot live long without food," I retorted, my voice cracking with emotion.

Smaug stared at me for a long time, scanning the blotched, red marks around my eyes caused by the salt drops. His blank face was scary, for I could not tell what he was thinking.

Eventually he spoke, "Rain water collects within the crevices of the balcony upstairs, in the western side. You may leave this chamber to quench your thirst, on the grounds that you return to continue the story again afterwards."

His words surprised me, for he had yet again acted beyond what I had predicted. I realized then that I really knew nothing of this olden yet frightful creature before me - who he truly was and what motives he lived by were but a complete mystery to me. I managed a small nod in the end, confused with the sympathetic gesture that had been thrown at me.

Seemingly uninterested in me anymore, Smaug turned away and lay his head on the blanket of gold. I stood still for a moment longer and watched him close his eyes, before quietly making my way towards the stairs that led out of the gold chamber. The stone steps were steeper than I had imagined and I found I had to take quite large strides to climb up. With great uncertainty as to whether or not I was making the right choice to leave the chamber, I arrived at the top of the stairs. I could see Smaug still lying in the same position below me. Through the gaps in the stone ledges, I saw his yellow eyes were still closed, appearing to drift off to sleep.

Feeling it was safe to do so, I continued moving forward. The steps took a sudden, sharp corner at the top so that once I was on the other side, I could no longer see the entrance to the gold chamber behind me. However, only after I had walked a good fifty feet further did I breathe out loudly, for I had not realized I had been holding my breath in for so long. Smaug's actions made no more sense than it did before. To me, he was beyond eccentric, transitioning between heartless and merciful, like the wind that travelled through light and dark.

I continued walking down the long hallway until I eventually found myself in what appeared to be the main courtroom of the palace. I was standing at the edge of a wide platform that led up to a half destroyed throne. Below me, I could see all the complex landings mined by the dwarves layer after layer during their golden age. The intricate details inscribed in the tall pillars were still present, although the rest of the area was lifeless and empty, only a ghost of the former palace that used to boast life.

Following Smaug's words, I looked to the west, which was on my right side. The walls were built of smooth marble that glittered black even though there was not a lot of natural light flooding through. The place wasn't completely dark, however. There was a large crack running down the west side of the wall where the moonlight could seep through.

Eager to be even one step closer to the outside world, I hurried my footsteps towards the crevice. Up close it appeared even taller, though less wide as I had first estimated. It was impossible to be certain in knowing if the crack had been created during or after Smaug's attack on Erebor. Just as Smaug had said, a slow but steady stream of water trickled down along the wall like a waterfall built for fairies. I placed my fingers on the broken stoned edges, running my palm over the rough and moist texture. I found that if I leant my body forward and stretched my right arm out into the crack as far as it could reach while sticking my body right up against the wall, I could extend my limb long enough to feel the mountain air against my skin. It was worth every effort to feel the moving wind and hear the lone cricket outside to remind me that the world was still alive and moving on.

I eventually sat down in front of the large crevice where I could catch a glimpse of outside the mountain. The brown paper wrapping the bread had lost most of its warmth by this stage, although it still was not completely cool. I peeled the paper back quickly and took a large bite of the bread. The soft, chewy texture of the bread and tangy sourness of the pickle rolled around inside my mouth and I couldn't help closing my eyes and breathing in deeply. The entire meal was finished in less than five bites and I cupped my palm to collect some of the trickling water. The icy, fresh liquid slid down my throat smoothly though the coldness felt sharp.

During this time the stubborn cloud must had finally moved on, for the moonlight became stronger, brightening up the room with pure, white light. It made the smooth, stone carvings glow a milky silver and when I looked up at the ceilings from where I was sitting, thousands of crystal stars stared back down at me. For all its desolate and tragic ending, the place appeared beautiful and enchanting, at least for that moment. I rested my head against the wall and closed my eyes. The cricket that had been crying before had now quietened its tune and I could almost imagine hearing the hum of the moon in the soft silence.

* * *

I did not remember falling asleep, yet I woke up to the still frozen but nonetheless bright sunlight of the early hours of the following morning. I was still sitting in the same position with my cheek touching the side of the wall. That patch of skin felt icy cold when I placed my palm over it, thawing under the warmer touch. My legs felt stiff and I shifted my body to stretch. As I did so, my fingers brushed over the empty brown paper that had been used to wrap the bread, still laid on my thigh. I would not have paid further attention to it, but under the morning light I could see that there was in fact some writing on the left corner of the paper which I must have missed earlier. As soon as I recognized the familiar handwriting, my heart began beating hard and I brought the paper closer to my face to read the message.

 _(Lari, I haven't given up on you. I know you are a fighter, you always have been. And I will fight for you, just as I promised I would back at the wharf which now seems like a lifetime ago. I just need a sign from you. Anything to bring comfort to my weariness. Please Lari, I need you.)_

My thumb traced over the last sentence softly as I felt a confused mixture of gratitude and sadness swell inside my chest.

"I need you too, Bard," I whispered softly as I felt tears roll down my cheek.

I must have stayed like that for some time, lost in my thoughts. The sun had now completed its ascent in the spotless sky, stroking my face with its golden rays. The light was warm and comforting, and I tilted my head back to dry the tears. Soon I would have to force myself to go back down to the gold chamber where Smaug was waiting.

The flapping sound of wings breaking the wind could be heard outside. A graceful looking lark landed in one sweeping motion right in front of the gap in the mountain wall. I watched quietly as the creature preened its lemon-yellow feathers covering the underbelly. Sensing my presence, the lark paused and instinctively looked up towards my direction. Its black eyes were bright and alert, watching my movements carefully. I picked off a couple of breadcrumbs that were still stuck to the brown paper and tossed it at the bird's feet. Although weary at first, the lark took a couple of hops closer and pecked at the food. It looked up at my face again and cocked its neck sideways.

Without any real purpose, I leant forward and whispered, "Please, little bird. Tell Bard I am alive, that I'm still here. Tell him I haven't given up either."

The lark continued to stare at me with its shiny eyes. Then, as if it had suddenly been reminded of its journey, it flew away. I watched on from my prison as the bird moved further away from the mountain, until it was no larger than a small speck in the distance. It may have been a plain bird, no different from the clueless gulls that were found at the wharf back at Esgaroth. I knew I should not keep my hopes up. But then again, something deep inside my heart told me the lark had understood everything.


	7. Song of Silence

**Chapter VII: Song of Silence**

* * *

 _I had always had a soft spot for larks. When we were children, Addy and I enjoyed collecting their feathers which we would bring home and tie into small bunches to hang on our window shutters. Bard once even carved out a small, wooden lark for me as my birthday present. They were beautiful birds in my eyes that were free to fly wherever they pleased. But the true reason for my attachment to these feathered creatures was because they reminded me of mother._

 _Now, I will be honest. I don't remember a great deal about my mother and what memories of her I do have are more or less likely to have been layered with comments and reminiscing from older villagers. However, I do know that mother was a very beautiful woman who had the most melodious singing voice in all of Esgaroth. I have pieces of memories of her from when I was a child, such as the evenings where father used to twirl around the fireplace of our kitchen with mother in his arms. I can still hear their laughter in my head, father's deep chuckle dancing with mother's soft giggle. Father would often say to my mother, "Sing me a tune, my precious lark," as he pressed a kiss on her cheek, not caring who was watching in the room._

 _Bard's father always told me that mother was a woman of good looks. She had rivers of golden hair streaming down to her hips. I remember this particular detail because I loved combing through her long locks with my fingers, feeling the smooth strands against my skin as my chubby fingers moved past. As I grew older I found it was harder to recall the rest of mother's features. Her face grew foggy in my mind over time, as if somebody had taken a wet cloth and wiped down the image of mother from my memory. I am not too bothered about this though, for I still remember her voice, the soft feeling of her chest whenever she pulled me into her arms for an embrace, and the smile on her lips as she laid kisses on my nose. Those are the memories I shall treasure forever, the small fragments from my childhood that remind me that there must have been a time when mother used to be happy._

* * *

When I had made my way down back to the gold chamber, Smaug was still lying in the same position as I had left him in, appearing to be asleep. I stood fidgeting on the last step of the stairs, unsure of what to do.

The air in the chamber was close to being frosty, due to the lack of sunlight passing through. I rubbed my fingers against each other but the cold seemed to have followed me from outside the chamber, and despite myself my teeth began chattering. I was contemplating whether or not to leave the chamber again for some time when Smaug finally spoke.

"Come here," he ordered and his eyelid flickered opened to once again reveal the golden orbs of his eye.

His voice, though spoken softly, rumbled and I could feel the vibrations that travelled to the soles of my feet. With no other alternative, I made my way over towards the dragon. As I got closer I could see my own reflection flash against the shiny red scales that lined Smaug's entire body, hundreds of copies of my frightened face staring back at me. Under the tinted red light, my pale skin looked as though it was bleeding.

I stopped when I was about twenty feet away. Smaug did not break his intense stare on me as he began curling his long tail into a loop on the coin-littered ground. I stood still, watching silently with a mixture of confusion and curiosity.

"Sit," Smaug barely glanced at the coil of his tail as he spoke.

It took a few seconds for my mind to register what had been requested of me. Even when I understood his words, my body still refused to move closer to the fire-drake and my legs remained planted deep down in the mountain of jewels. My natural instincts told me to avoid all contact with Smaug. No chains were tied around me, yet I felt strangled and trapped.

"My Storyteller. You are cold, I can feel it in the air you breathe out. _Sit_ ," Smaug's voice was smooth like marble and his eyes glowed brighter, a deep shade of orange.

The way he called me felt authoritative yet at the same time benevolent, as if he knew that I could not disobey his request. Reluctantly I walked closer, advancing with small steps towards the beast. Taking a sharp breath, I awkwardly bent my lower body down beside his tail. Smaug's scales brushed against the skin of my legs that were exposed beneath my scarlet dress. The feeling was not entirely unpleasant, and a warmth radiated out of Smaug's body that reminded me of sitting by the fireplace on a winter evening.

Despite all my fear and wariness, I felt the coldness on the surface of my skin melt away and the feeling in my fingertips return. Without really thinking, I shifted ever so slightly closer to Smaug, his body warmth beckoning me to come nearer. Before I knew exactly how far I had moved, I was now sitting deep in the middle of the coil made by the dragon's tail like a bird in its nest. The terrified expression on my face upon this realisation appeared to deeply entertain Smaug, and he rumbled with laughter that showed off his teeth.

"Do you fear me, Storyteller?" He asked in obvious amusement.

"I fear you, merciful Smaug. As much as I find you invincible," I answered through gritted teeth, trying hard to mask the shakiness in my voice.

"Well, I for one find you very interesting, child. You fear me, yes, just like all the mindless girls who wandered into my chamber before you. Yet I see wonder in your eyes when you look at me, and I hear curiosity in your voice when you speak. I watch the way you perceive your surroundings and I can tell that you have seen more truth which the world tries hard to hide from the innocent. And that, my Storyteller, makes you different to _them_ ," Smaug said, the orange light of his eyes glowing brighter than ever.

The thought of all those girls before me who had pleaded and died under the force of the very dragon whose tail I was now perched on sent a chilling shiver down my spine. I chose to keep silent as Smaug fixed his gaze on me, studying me intently as if I was another jewel in his gold chamber.

As the warmth eventually calmed my nerves down, I found myself wondering if Smaug found me as fascinating as I did of him. Not many hours had passed since the early morning, however I still felt the tiredness all over my body. I had not slept well in the cold, and already my body felt stiff with fatigue. Smaug lay his head down in front of my legs, although he never broke his eyes away from my face.

"Are you willing to draw me the next part of your story?" He asked.

Knowing this was to happen, I breathed in and nodded. Smaug watched as I smoothed out the wrinkles in my dress as I quickly thought of an opening sentence.

"Her husband, his wife, their daughter.  
They were happy as any family as a tidy three," I began slowly.

A lump formed at the back of my throat which would not go away no matter how many times I swallowed. My nose stung, reaching all the way to my eyes but I did not stop the story. I knew none of this was going unnoticed by Smaug whose eyes were unblinking and bright.

"But in her heart she knew she had to wake up,  
Wake up from her dream.  
For Edorath called to her morning and night,  
She could not ignore it."

No matter how much I longed to, I didn't dare pause for I knew my emotions would take over me if they were given even the smallest of opportunities.

"So one full moon, she waited for twilight  
And till her child was asleep.  
She waded out across the water  
And swam further into the deep."

"She swam away, just like that?" Smaug interrupted with a deep, almost angry frown above his brow, "What about her daughter and husband? She abandoned them."

I continued in a voice that was barely above a whisper, "The fisherman frantically rowed his boat out at dawn,  
But the moon had begun to pale and she was gone.  
For she had never been his,  
and the fisherman was left with no more than his weeping child.  
And on his trembling lips, the ghost of a mermaid's kiss."

A tear drop rolled down my cheek as the memories came back, no matter how hard I tried to push them out of my mind. This time Smaug did look away from my face. He said nothing, but I could sense that he had enough pity to pretend he did not see anything. I quickly wiped the tear off with the red sleeve of my dress. I wanted to stay strong and not show any weakness. Smaug glanced back at me as I bowed my head in embarrassment.

"There is no shame in feeling pain," he said, though he kept the tone of his voice neutral, "Only the heartless are free from it."

His words eased the aching in my chest and I lifted my face up to the orange eye that seemed to look straight through my invisible veil. They contained truth, and for a reason I could not fathom, that gave me comfort. I said nothing but nodded and Smaug nodded back.

"She left without goodbye," the words dropped out of my mouth before I could stop them, "Why did she have to leave?"

Another teardrop rolled down my cheek and this time, I didn't bother to wipe it off.

"Do not grieve for those who must leave. For the soul never wanders very far from the heart," Smaug replied softly.

It was still only sometime before midday, and yet there was a growing heaviness on my eyelids as the warmth from Smaug's body travelled up my own.

"Rest, child. May you be free from grief while walking in your dreams," Smaug said, noticing how tired I was.

His voice sounded soothing and I felt drowsy, like the time Aunt Maude fed me that disgusting but potent and deeply sedating cough mixture when I had been sick. I could only imagine Aunt Maude's reaction if she saw me seeking warmth from a fire-breathing dragon. Sleep slowly took over me, and I did not fight back as my mind drifted out of reality. Smaug watched over me, his orange eyes unblinking long after I had closed mine.

* * *

 _No matter how many times I try to summon up all the memories in my mind, I cannot seem to be able to pinpoint an exact event or moment that changed mother. The transformation wasn't physical mind you, but a force that could not be pushed away with swords or protected against using shields. It silently seeped into our family without any of us noticing, slowly and sneakily like the venomous fangs of a sea snake._

 _I guess I became certain something was wrong when mother stopped singing. The house became empty without her voice and energy, like the dark pupils in mother's eyes whenever she glanced my way as I desperately tried to catch her attention. Father started spending more time in his boat at the wharf, for the silence echoing in the house became increasingly unbearable over the months. I was too young to go outside then, so I stayed home with mother. I remember touching her pale cheeks with my chubby hands, searching behind the vacant look in mother's face. Her complete unresponsiveness to everything around her including me was scary. It was as if mother had trapped herself under a block of ice and no matter how loudly I yelled and how tightly I hugged her, I couldn't reach deep enough to save her._

 _There isn't a great deal of details I remember as being unusual about that particular evening, only that it had been the day after my seventh birthday. I assume it must have been quite a chilly night then, since my birthday sits right on the winter month of October. Father had just returned home from another late shift at the wharf and I remember listening to his footsteps downstairs as I lay in my bed. It was no different to all the other evenings and I had drifted off to sleep quite quickly._

 _I can't remember the exact time I woke up, but the moon was high and it was the knocking of the wind on the glass of my window that nudged me awake. The air had been cold and a feeling that something was not right sunk deep inside me, forcing me out of bed. When I walked downstairs, I found the front door was wide open. The house was completely empty, both my parents were missing. A heavy draft was blowing in, rattling the window shutters. I had never been out of the house alone until that night, but I recall no excitement as I stepped out onto the dark street. My legs continued forward even though my mind was blank. Looking back, I guess I would have ended up wandering towards the wharf eventually, since all the streets and corners of Esgaroth ultimately lead to the lake._

 _Despite it being the middle of the night there was a small crowd of people gathered around the edge of the wharf. I pushed through the legs blocking my way, the squeezing in my gut getting tighter with every step. One of the fishermen spotted me from afar and tried to stop me, hide me from the truth._

 _But he was a moment too late._

 _I found mother lying in father's arms, soaking wet with seaweed and fishing lines strung around her body. At first glance she looked like she was sleeping, but then I took in her ghostly pale, dull skin and limp arms. She was still wearing her white night gown and her mouth was slightly open as if she wanted to say something. Father did not seem to have noticed me, his face buried in mother's golden hair as he wept loudly. Never had I seen father cry before, and I think seeing him so broken was the unsettling moment where everything sank into place. The fisherman who approached me had a kind expression but I saw the sadness in his eyes as he looked down at my seeking face._

 _"Poor thing," he said in a low voice that confused me as to whether he was speaking to me or himself._

 _That night at the wharf was the last time I saw mother. The fisherman whispered something into father's ear, although I doubt he would have comprehended any of the words. The man then took my hand and gently led me away from the sight of mother's body. I remember feeling relieved to have an adult finally take control over the situation again, and to tell me that everything was going to be alright when clearly it could not be fixed. So I let the man take me away to his small cottage not very far away from the wharf, but a distance long enough to drown out father's wailing cries._

* * *

My eyes flickered open as I broke out of my sleep. All the tiredness seemed to have disappeared from my body and I was left with the feeling of bliss and a warmth that flowed down my back. I had begun rolling over on my side when the rough, metallic scales grazed my elbows, causing me to freeze on the spot. It was then that I remembered where, or who more like, I had laid my naive head upon to rest. It was definitely wrong to feel so comfortable while sleeping on the tail of an enormous dragon, was it not? I stayed very still, hoping Smaug had not noticed my waking up.

"Why is it that you weep when you are asleep?" Smaug's voice rumbled, reminding me of boulders rolling down a steep hill, "You cried the same way the previous night."

I frowned and sat up straight, genuinely confused.

"Weep? I didn't know I cried in my sleep," I answered honestly.

"What is it you hide, child?" Smaug pressed me for answers, his tone gentle.

I bit my lip and shrugged, not wanting to share anything more about mother than I already had this morning. Smaug puffed out thick, white smoke from his nostrils. He appeared disappointed at my lack of response but said nothing more on the matter. Instead, he turned his head away from me and towards the entrance of the tunnel on the other side of the room.

"Another gift came for you," he said, nodding towards the new parcel that was lying on top of the gold coins.

My heart quickened at Smaug's words. _Perhaps, just maybe, Bard got my sign_. Unable to contain my excitement, I scrambled off Smaug's tail and half tripped, half ran towards the small bundle wrapped in brown paper. It was the same size as the night before and I smelt the aroma of freshly baked bread through the thin paper. Suddenly remembering that a dragon was still present with me, I looked over at Smaug who puffed out some more smoke with an uninterested expression. Taking this as permission to leave the gold chamber, I began taking long and impatient steps through the mounds of gold around me with the parcel tucked safely under my arms. If I wanted to check if Bard had written back again, but I had to do so away from the dragon's guard.

"Lari."

I had just reached the beginning of the stairs when Smaug called me.

"Yes?" I asked as I turned around quickly.

A yellow gleam that was not present before had appeared in Smaug's eyes as he stared hard at my face. It was difficult to tell whether he was angry or not, the only tell-tale sign being that mean hint of yellow light present around his eyes. Smaug stretched his neck out so that his head sat high above the gold. I doubted he would not be able to see everything from such a height.

"As long as you are alive, I believe we need to establish some rules," he said with a smile that did not quite reach his eyes.

I swallowed hard and nodded, my fingers fidgeting with the brown paper wrapped around the parcel. I wanted nothing more than to bolt up those stairs away from the gold chamber as far as possible, but I was now stuck, or at least that was what it felt like. Smaug slithered over towards me, flicking coins all around him as he moved.

"You are not to make any contact with people beyond the wall of the mountain, other than to receive food from those who are charitable. No one is permitted to visit you or see you in the flesh. I think we can follow that much order, wouldn't you agree?" He said the final part in a light tone, although the yellow eyes shined brighter than ever.

My head rang in alarm and I could feel a hotness flush down my neck. But to Smaug I simply nodded and even managed a small smile.

"Of course. I wouldn't dream of it," I answered smoothly even though my heart was now racing as the bright, yellow eyes bore into my face.

Smaug continued staring at me and for a second I was terrified he had caught out my lie. I stared straight ahead, counting the seconds in my head. Any moment now I would have dragon teeth sink into my skin and break through my bones, I was sure of it. But Smaug did none of that.

"Good. Run along then," he said with a sharp nod before finally breaking his glare on me.

I didn't look back once as I ran up the stairs and turned the corner as fast as I could. My hands which were clenched into tight fists were sticky and warm with sweat. I felt the thumping in my chest grow louder and louder until I could imagine it echoing in the long hallway where I was now standing as I tried to convince myself that my secret was safe.


	8. Boy who Played with Arrows

**Chapter VIII: Boy Who Played with Arrows**

* * *

I remained leaning against the wall outside the chamber as I waited for the nervousness in my heart to calm down. _Everything is fine_ , I reassured myself. _He doesn't know about the message you sent_.

As it was still sometime between mid-morning and early afternoon, the sun was high and yellow light brightened up the wide courtroom. Taking deep breaths, I quickly unwrapped the brown paper, my nerves and impatience causing the paper to tear slightly. I hardly noticed the pickle bun beneath the wrapping. I quickly flipped over the wrinkled brown paper and to my delight, Bard's handwriting was written in small size in the upper left corner.

 _(Lari, I promise I will make sure to see your face again and find a way to hear the laughter in your voice. You know where to find me.)_

I don't believe I had ever felt so much excitement surge inside me as I felt after reading Bard's message. _Somebody out there knows I'm alive_ , the voice in my head sang. There was only one place I could think of where Bard could be waiting. I hastily rewrapped the bread back in its brown paper as I ran down the corridor. The room was adequately lit and I had little difficulty finding my way back to the wall with the large crevice running through it. I quickened my steps, turning corners left and right. Until at last, the long platform leading up to the old courtroom came into view.

I stopped in my tracks for a moment, both nervous and excited. The thought of seeing Bard again caused my stomach to flutter and I pressed my fringe down with the palm of my hand. Deliberately slowing down my pace, I began walking across the platform, the sound of my shoes tapping against the marble floor echoing with every step. I could definitely see the flat wall ahead of me, cracked straight down the middle, and the whispering sound of the mountain breeze could be heard as I got nearer. Yet still I could see no sign of Bard and the inside of my mouth dried up as the fear slowly kicked in. _He's here, waiting._ I told myself freely but when I arrived at the wall, only a lone breeze stroked my hair softly.

Outside, it had begun to snow, to my surprise. Winter had arrived much earlier than I had imagined. Where was he? For a while I stood still in disbelief. But I could not hold in my disappointment for long and I slumped against the cracked wall and broke into tears. Fat, salty droplets poured out of my eyes and hit the cold ground in front of my feet as I cried out loud.

I don't really know why I had been so naively certain beyond any doubt that Bard would be there and had worked myself up to believe so. Perhaps it was because he was the one person in my life who never broke their word for anything. Or perhaps the reason was that I missed him too much to even take moment to think he may not turn up. Perhaps there had been an emergency back home, or I had simply missed the time and he had left moments before.

I guess I should have picked up by now that disappointment was never very far, especially when one is existing under a mountain that is guarded by a dragon. But I had still held onto hope and that made it harder for me to accept the truth. Disappointment carried physical pain, a deep and ugly feeling of my chest twisting in on itself.

I was still sitting with my back against the wall and my face buried in my arms when the fluttering sound of feathers reached my ears. At first I ignored the noise, but then a repetitive 'tap tap' sound eventually made me look up. A lark had landed in front of the opening in the wall. Straight away from the shine in its beady eyes I recognised it to be the same bird that had visited me earlier this morning. The source of the tapping noise had come from a large walnut which the lark was holding in its beak. The lark cocked its head and stared at me, as if in curiosity. I managed a small smile and ripped a piece of the bread with my hands before dropping it by the bird's feet.

"Don't worry, little bird. You did well, you tried," I whispered to the lark who continued to stare at me.

Instead of flying away with the morsel of bread offered to it, the small bird kept the walnut tucked firmly in its beak. After stretching its wings out wide, the lark continued to knock the nut against the rock even more determinedly. The sharp "tap tap" sound echoed against the wall of the mountain, the volume surprisingly loud for such a tiny object. After three more knocks, the lark dropped the walnut from its beak, letting it roll down the rocks. It picked up the piece of bread I had offered instead, and gave me one final look before flying away. I found myself staring out longingly across the distance where the lark had flown off, wondering how I could have ever taken the condition of being free for granted.

My eyes were not really focusing on anything in particular and my thoughts were just beginning to wander when a familiar silhouette approached from the distance. Immediately my heart raced excitedly, though I seemed to have lost authority over my voice. So I stood up from where I had been sitting, both grinning and with tears in my eyes as Bard broke out into a sprint towards the wall as soon as he saw me. Flakes of snow was sitting on the shoulders of his coat and more dusted over his dark hair. There he was in front of me, the face I had missed so much.

"I will smile gratefully at every noble lark that flies my way from this day forth," Bard said with a smile that contained so much joy as he hurried his way over towards me.

"You came," was the only thing I managed to choke out, too happy to say anything more.

"Of course I did. I would have stopped at nothing," Bard answered softly, the colossal mountain face stopping him from coming any nearer.

I pressed my body right up against the wall and extended my arm as far out into the narrow gap as I could. Bard copied my actions and with great effort we could just touch the tips of our fingers against one another's like the leaves that gently knocked against the other when the wind tickled their bodies. We were barely touching and the rough stone pressed uncomfortably into my rib, and yet I had not felt my spirit as uplifted over the past few days as I did now. After great effort we could hold onto each other's hands, our fingers intertwined. We stood like this for ages, neither one saying anything.

"How are you?" Bard finally asked in a soft voice.

"Well," I began in a feigned carefree voice, "I am surrounded by so many riches that even the Master of Esgaroth would fall back in shock. There is gold, but what I truly crave is sunlight through my hair and raindrops on my skin. And what else? Oh yes, a dragon awaits me every hour of the day, and I almost expect to be eaten alive this very moment."

I had not meant what I said to sound so...bitter. But the wobble in my voice made it hard to believe that I was in anyway talking lightly. The mood dropped its positive tone and I regretted saying what I did, but the words were already out of my mouth and I couldn't retrieve them. Bard was silent for a long time, his face scrunched up. His hand which was still holding mine trembled slightly, the vibrations travelling up my arm.

"Bard..." my voice trailed off helplessly, "I didn't mean it. Please, don't be sad."

Bard finally looked up and made eye contact with me, a sad smile sitting on his face.

"I'm sorry, Lari. I couldn't help you," he said as his fingers tightened around my hand.

The painful squeeze in my chest returned and I swallowed hard.

"No. It's not your fault. You are the best friend I could have had. You never gave up on me," I reminded Bard and the tightness in my chest loosened slightly when I saw the light come back to his eyes.

"How is Addy? How is she doing?" I asked, genuinely curious to know how my cousin sister was coping.

"Addy is good. She no longer has to work for the Master of Laketown which means she can return to school," Bard answered with a nod but his eyes grew serious, "Lari, your father misses you terribly."

I pursed my lips, the bitterness I had felt back home still not completely washed away. I had not forgiven father, as stubborn and selfish as it was of me.

"Tell me more news about Addy," I practically begged.

"The village lads still fancy her," Bard answered with a grin, "But nothing excites her more than school. She will begin her classes next week,"

"Already?" I asked in surprise, for school in Esgaroth always began in the middle of the winter months and I was certain it had been less than a day since autumn left.

This time, it was Bard's turn to look confused.

"It's the end of October now. You've been gone for almost three weeks," he said softly, upon noting the shock rendered across my face.

Surely I had not been missing for so long? My mind questioned in panic. It only felt like I had been in the chamber for two nights. And yet, time outside had continued on without me.

"I...I didn't know. How could I have survived on nothing but a loaf of bread for three weeks?" I tried to argue logically.

"Do you think time somehow moves slower for you?" Bard asked, his eyes serious.

I shrugged.

"I guess there isn't any other explanation. I mean, Smaug has been around for centuries and yet he shows no physical sign of aging. Perhaps he holds the answer to the secret of time," I answered in the end and Bard raised his eyebrows slightly.

"And the dragon? He hasn't hurt you, has he?" He asked in a strained voice and there was relief in his face when I shook my head.

"We...get on, I guess," I struggled to find the correct words, "He enjoys stories and company."

"A dragon is still a dragon. Be careful, Lari," was Bard's only response.

His fingers were still locked around mine, and his thumb stroked the back of my hand gently. It had the effect of both calming me and making my heart skip every second beat. Bard brought with him the thing I had missed most which was comfort and human touch. However, the stone cold reality had never left and was now staring at us in the face.

"I...I have to go back," I whispered sadly.

Smaug would find out something was wrong if I didn't return to the chamber in time. I could not afford to lose his trust, especially if I was to meet Bard again. Bard seemed to understand and he nodded with a grim expression. He squeezed my hand one final time before reluctantly letting go. My hand dropped to my side limply and I felt the loneliness that had been momentarily kept at bay sink back inside of me.

"Smaug doesn't know about any of this and he can't find out. If he does, everyone will be under fire," I rambled, remembering his warning, "Please don't tell anyone I'm still alive...at least not until I figure out a plan."

I saw Bard's shadow dip slightly as he nodded at my request. I felt safe - I knew I could trust him. I stood up to leave slowly, hating myself for leaving.

"Hold on, Lari. I have something for you," Bard spoke in a muffled voice as he rummaged through his pocket.

He pulled out a small parcel and handed it to me through the gap in the wall.

"Your birthday present," he said upon seeing my confused face, "it was two days ago."

In the past stream of events, I had completely forgotten about my birthday. It seemed hardly important anymore, with a dragon and everything. The childness in me stirred excitedly as I unwrapped the paper. A small object dropped onto the palm of my hand.

It was a necklace made of plain string with a smooth white pendant hanging in the centre. On closer look, the pendant was a large shell. It had been polished carefully until it was shiny and clean, all the traces of the lake gone, leaving something naked and pure. In sudden risk of crying, I swallowed hard a couple of times. To a stranger, the necklace would have meant nothing more than a sweet present. But to me, it was much more than a simple shell. He remembers that night just as clearly as I do, I realised as I wrapped my hand over the shell. Bard eyed me carefully, unsure of my reaction and whether or not I liked the gift.

"It's not big, I know. I just thought..." he began nervously.

"It's beautiful. Thank you," I said softly and I saw Bard beam.

I slipped the necklace over my head. The shell hung off the string and sat in the centre of my chest. I tucked it under the layers of my clothes for I wasn't sure if entering the gold chamber with the necklace out in full view was a very smart idea. Besides, the shell felt closer to my heart this way and that gave me strength.

"I will see you again," Bard promised and I nodded wordlessly, upset I had to leave so soon.

Afraid of bursting into tears in front of Bard, I abruptly turned around and began walking away, not looking back once. The tears flowed down my cheeks but I held my head high and kept walking further and further away from that wall with the crevice running through.

It was not until many years later that Bard admitted to me how he too had cried as he watched the back of my body disappear around the corner. Seeing tears on Bard's face was a rare sight, so I was rather surprised when he told me this truth. He was the boy who chased away the mean boys who used to tease me for being too tall. The boy who played with arrows and the child who tossed the dirt from his trousers after falling over without as much as a wince. Bard was the boy who never complained when his father brought a little girl back home to sleep in his bedroom for the night.

That was the kind of innate strength Bard possessed. So I remember listening to him and wondering how many other times I had made him cry silently behind my back.

* * *

 _The man opened the front door of his house and let me in first before following closely behind. The entire house was warm and orange-lighted due to the fire place burning quietly in the corner. Every once in a while it would crack and hiss, bright embers clapping in the air. I remember standing in the centre of the room, uncomfortable and lost, the image of mother lying still in father's arms the only thing my mind could think about. The man seemed busy for a few minutes as he kneeled beside the hearth and poked at the fire. Eventually he stood up and smiled at me with a smile that was warm and genuine._

 _"You can sleep in my boy's room for the night. I can pull out the spare mattress. It should be warm enough," he said._

 _He was still smiling, trying to convince me I had nothing to worry about. But of course, I had to ruin it._

 _"When can I see mama again?" I asked._

 _"Come on, sweetheart. It's late and you need sleep," the man avoided my question and began shuffling me upstairs._

 _Despite his kindness, he was just as uncomfortable with it all as I was. And because I was scared of the answer, I let the subject drop between us._

 _The room I was led to was small and cosy, with a mobile of different wood carvings in the shape of fish hanging from the ceiling. A bed sat in the corner of the room with a boy asleep in it. He woke when the man opened the wardrobe with a noisy creak to pull a mattress and blanket out for me. At first, the boy looked surprised to see a girl standing in front of him and most probably shivering in her night gown. He rubbed his eyes a couple of times, his dark curls bobbing up and down._

 _"Dar?" He asked, his eyes swivelling to his father who patted my shoulder encouragingly._

 _"Bard, this is Lari. She is going to stay with us for the night," the man told his son who seemed satisfied with the answer, for he yawned and almost instantly went back to sleep._

 _The man patted my shoulder a final time before walking out of the room, closing the door behind me. I remember standing still for a couple of moments, taking in my surroundings and the dark haired boy before eventually slipping under the cold covers. I brought my knees right up to my chest and shut my eyes, trying to force sleep onto me, as pointless as it was. The tears came soon after, in such a rage that I had to take large gulps of air in between the quiet crying. I kept my eyes shut and tried to muffle the sound of my weeps. But a soft poking on my cheek caused me to open my eyes again. The boy stood in front of me, his finger still resting on my face. He lifted his other hand up to my eyes and I saw a white shell sitting on his small, open palm._

 _"For you," the boy said, "it chases away bad dreams if you hold onto it."_

 _When I did not take it immediately, he held my hand out and placed the shell onto it. I cannot really remember if we talked much that night, or if Bard had simply climbed back into his bed and gone back to sleep. But I do know that I had gripped the shell tightly in my hands all through the night, comforted by the boy who had heard me in my silence._

* * *

 _ **Not much of Smaug in this chapter, I know. Sorry about that, but he will make his appearance soon. I'd just like to say thank you for the thoughtful reviews...You readers are the best! I love you all and reviews are always welcome~**_


	9. The Day it Fell Snow Inside

**Chapter IX: The Day it Fell Snow Inside**

* * *

I ended up running the second half of the way back to the gold chamber, still exhilarated from my meeting with Bard. I stopped running only when I had reached about thirty feet away from the entrance to the room where Smaug was waiting, my breathing heavy from the exercise.

Slowly I made my way down the steep steps, the shell pendant Bard had given me bumping against my chest encouragingly. Smaug lay unmoving on top of his bed of jewels. At first I thought he was asleep, but then he lifted his head when he heard me approach. Wide ripples of coins and crystal became dislodged from the movement, rolling down all around us noisily. Smaug nodded down at me, indicating for me to come closer.

"You bring the mountain air with you. I smell the wind on your clothes," he spoke and I stopped right between his two large, front legs which were holding his upper body up high.

His voice sent cold shivers down my spine, despite the air in the chamber being warmer than outside. I felt my gut squeeze uncomfortably as soon as I heard those words. _Had he figured out my secret? What if he knows about Bard?_ Panicked thoughts thumped inside my head as I tried to stay calm.

"I sat by the crevice you spoke of," I replied, choosing my words carefully so as not to give away anything, "I watched the snow fall around the mountain."

To my relief, Smaug nodded and the mean yellow glare that often foreshadowed his otherwise unpredictable anger did not appear in his eyes. I expected Smaug to then order me to continue the story. However, it appeared he had a different request to ask of me.

"Tell me, my storyteller," Smaug enquired with unblinking eyes, "Tell me what it looks like outside. Beyond the Lonely Mountain and my hoard of treasure."

"The outside? As in back home?" I repeated back stupidly, completely taken by surprise at the question.

Smaug's eyes glowed bright orange, the orbs of his eyes like two fireballs ignited. He lowered his face close to mine until I barely felt the tip of his snout nudge my forehead gently.

"Over a century of suns have risen and fallen since I found my gold, and thousands of stars have burnt away in the night. I have not spread my wings in many years. The waters of Edorath continuously flow away to the sea, and forever seems too long a time," he said in a distant voice.

I lifted my head and looked up properly into the eyes of this strange colossal creature, perhaps for the first time. Beneath the orange flames that brunt around his ruby pupil, I saw something different and fresh. It was difficult to comprehend, for Smaug was quick to cloud his eyes that had been shining brightly only moments before. But even now, I believe what I saw that day was a mourning of time that seemed to have forgotten the mountain. And with that, followed a deep loneliness.

I found myself pitying him. This monster who had murdered countless lives, countless _innocent_ lives. He had fed on the flesh of my people and ripped the mountain folk from their homes. And yet, standing above this river of gold, I felt nothing but pity for Smaug.

"Well, it is winter right now…" I began wearily but then stopped.

I wasn't sure whether anything I said would change much. It was as though words had little meaning to providing true comfort anymore, especially to an age-old dragon.

Then, an idea sprang to my mind.

"Hold on," I said in an excited voice as I sprinted away and up the stairs that led out of the gold chamber, not waiting for Smaug to answer.

I am not entirely sure of the reason, but I felt a deep desire and urgency to remind Smaug what time looked and felt like.

Hastily, I made my way passed the corridor until I arrived at the edge of the wall where I had last said my goodbye to Bard. A heavy draft was now blowing in through the large gap running through the stone, but there were also pieces of ice and snow which had crusted along the edges.

I scooped a handful of the frozen water with my bare hands, shuddering as the coldness cut through my fingers. As soon as they touched the warmth of my hands, the flakes began to melt away into no more than small droplets. I sprinted back towards the direction of the gold chamber, my arm extended in front of me with the pile of pearly, white snow sitting in my hands.

When I returned I saw Smaug was still standing in the same position as I had left him in, his head cocked to one side slightly. He watched me curiously as I awkwardly made my way over towards him through the rolling coins. Trying hard not to drop any of the diminishing amount of snow that had not yet melted in my hands, I stopped in front of Smaug and lifted my arms up higher. The curiosity in Smaug's eyes soon melted into excitement as he realized what I had brought for him.

I could tell he understood exactly my intentions as he proceeded to lower his head closer to my outstretched hands. A fiery warmth tickled the tips of my fingers even though we were not even touching, for a dragon's blood was hotter than liquid fire. I could feel my body trembling as Smaug's face made contact with my hands.

Understanding what I had to do, I rubbed the snowflakes on the area of the dragon's face just above his dark lips.

His hide was tough and leathery, contrasting with the feeble softness of my own skin. I tried hard not to pay attention to the sharp, white ends of his teeth.

Smaug shivered as the icy fluid trickled between his scales. I felt the vibrations travel up and down my own body as if the coldness was entering through my flesh as well.

"My mother told me snow was the diamond crystals sprinkled over Arda by the Valar," I said with a small smile, although I felt sad and wistful.

We stood still, frozen for that moment until Smaug spoke.

"Do you wish to leave?" He asked in a soft but strangled voice.

His eyes were shiny and reminded me of stars rather than the usual balls of fire that I had been so accustomed to associating them with. I struggled internally but decided to be honest with my answer.

"Yes," I whispered in a hushed voice, "I long to return home."

A flash of yellow struck through Smaug's eyes and for a moment, he looked hurt. But then the orange shade quickly returned and instead I heard a deep sigh come from within him.

"You may continue your story," Smaug said gruffly, lifting his head away from my touch.

I nodded and wiped the melted snow from my hands onto the back of my dress. I began to speak, my voice filling the silence of the chamber.

"Sunrise chased away the stars and its tears.  
Night became morning  
And days turned to years.

Enough time passed for sadness to wash over the coastland,  
Enough time for a girl to grow up and understand.

A girl with golden hair so long that it swayed  
But with no tail that allowed her to swim away."

I sensed Smaug shift his body and his tail slide behind my legs. Coins chattered softly all around us. A welcoming warmth flooded across my shoulders from the heated scales on Smaug's tail that stroked my back as it made a ring surrounding me. His eyes encouraged me to sit in the nest he had created. I did so, this time less reluctantly than the first time.

"A girl who had no mother  
And barely a father.  
A girl who felt abandoned, a girl who felt unwanted," I continued in a strong voice.

Smaug listened with unblinking eyes, his pupils reminded me of the deep, dark lake of Edorath. He drank in my words, quenching his curious thirst. It was as though we were both staring out of one window and seeing that same image I was drawing with my words.

"A girl who met a boy,  
A boy who played with bows and arrows," my voice softened and I felt a soft thumping in my chest, "A boy who saw her when she was lost.

A boy who cared and sheltered her from the frost.  
A boy who showed her that life goes on.  
The winter in her heart thawed away  
And spring returned with the white swans."

A surge of warmth flowed behind my back as Smaug let out a sigh of warm air. Now that I had stopped speaking, the silence of the room could truly be felt. The only sounds heard were the coins that clattered as they rolled down and the heavy breathing of the dragon beside me.

"This boy," Smaug began but he paused for a long time before resuming, "Did she fall in love with him?"

Whether it was due to the way I could feel Smaug's tail wrap itself around me more tightly or how his muscles seemed to tense slightly, but I felt nervous in giving an answer.

"Perhaps she would have," I replied in the end sadly.

 _If she were given the chance to live_ , I thought to myself silently, though I did not say this aloud.

"Look in your heart, Lari. Look in your heart and give me an honest answer. Do you hate me?" Smaug sprang the question on me suddenly, although his voice remained flat and neutral.

His question startled me, for I felt that if my words caused any offense he could possibly incinerate me on the spot.

"I...I can't tell," I whispered after a long pause.

A cold draft blew in from the opening of the chamber and I shivered violently despite the warmth of Smaug's scales against my skin. Smaug remained silent, refusing to comment. Until now, I had not been entirely sure exactly how much of my thoughts I gave away to Smaug without speaking. But as I stared into his blinding yellow eyes that day, it was clear as water that he saw right through me every time.

* * *

 _When father took me home the next day, I knew everything had changed. How could it remain the same after all that had happened and with mother now gone?_

 _Our house was eerie and still when we walked through the frost-bitten front door, a shadow permanently cast over the empty rooms. Each step I took felt unbearably too loud, for it amplified the silence that filled the entire space. Everything around us became silent and still._

 _Father refused to speak, preparing the meals wordlessly which he did not eat himself. He sat out on the porch for many hours a day, staring at the lake stretched ahead of him, as if he was searching for mother under the icy water. I watched as villagers quickened their step when they passed our house, some whispering to each other as they eyed father scandalously. We received no visitors other than Bard's father who sent us a couple of fish every now and again. I remember the way he used to smile whenever he saw me standing shyly at the doorway. He would pat my head and tell me a funny story that happened at the wharf that day, but his eyes remained sad. Sometimes Bard would join his father, giving me a friendly wave as his brown curls brushed over his eyebrows._

 _Father paid little attention to me during those first couple of weeks since mother's passing. He cooked meals and made sure I finished my plate, but other than that there was no contact or conversation made between us. I didn't know how to react to father's silence nor the emptiness that nagged inside me despite my stomach being full of grilled fish. I felt like a hollow vase, toppling dangerously near the edge of the table and shattering into pieces._

 _It did not help that there were traces of mother left all around our house. Mother's favorite rocking chair, her hairbrush, and the cup she always drank from. Every object and room contained a painful memory of her imprinted on its surface. Father spent his days wandering through the rooms, picking up the things that belonged to mother and sighing loudly._

 _One morning I found father sitting alone at the dining table. The sun had only just begun to rise, its rays staining the table surface red where father was slumped over. I still remember the coldness of the hard wooden floor beneath my bare feet as I cautiously walked over towards father. He looked up when he heard me approach, but his eyes remained vacant and I felt fear, for I had once seen that same lost gaze in mother's eyes. I wrapped my arms around father's neck and squeezed him tight. My father was a tall and sturdily built man, but at that moment, he felt so small to me._

 _"Please don't leave like mama did," I pleaded, afraid I would lose him too._

 _Father's face scrunched up when I said this and he pulled me into his arms. I stood still, feeling his shoulders shake violently as his tears soaked my shoulder._

 _"I'm so sorry," father wept, "We need help. I need help, I can't do this alone."_

 _He said this over and over again, his voice getting louder until he was almost shouting out the words in my ear. In between his constant apologies father would break out in moments of anguish, yelling out, "Chrysan, my sweet Chrysan! Why did you do it? Why did you not say anything?"_

 _I didn't know what to do, and at seven years old I did not have the courage to provide father the comfort he needed. So I stared ahead outside the window where snowflakes had begun to float down from the sky and rest on the panes._

 _Winter had always been extremely cold in Esgaroth. The air itself made people's teeth chatter and the lake to freeze up. Villagers lit up small fires on the street where they huddled around in little groups. But the snow fell the heaviest that year. It piled high over the sloped roof of the houses, overflowing over the edges and covering the streets in a white blanket._

* * *

Smaug did not demand more of the tale for the rest of that day, nor did he ask for me to speak the day after. He spent hours sleeping under layers of the stale gold, puffs of smoke escaping from his nostrils as he breathed in and out in his sleep. When Smaug was awake, he paid no attention to me, not even glancing my way when I would receive the small parcel of food Bard threw down to me from above.

I seemed to have suddenly become invisible in his eyes, and in all honesty I was rather taken aback by this change. He reminded me of a child, sulking at my words to him earlier. His silent treatment was not too torturing though, for Smaug still allowed me to leave and enter the gold chamber as I pleased. Well, he did not say anything but I took this as permission nonetheless.

Erebor was an enthralling place to explore, despite it existing in a completely dilapidated state. Loose pillars and large bricks were scattered here and there all over the grounds, and some rooms were so dusty I could not physically enter without bursting into fits of coughing. It was a palace frozen in time, the remnants of activity that would have been boasted right until the moment of the dragon's attack was well preserved within the quarters.

I was able to wander around the empty halls for a good couple of hours each day before I had to return to the gold chamber. It was the one thing I could look forward to during the long-drawn hours. By the end of the third day, I had covered most of the secret passages and hidden corners, my jaw often dropping at the graceful rooms built within the spaces of the kingdom. There were kitchens wider than our house back at Esgaroth, and courtrooms the stretched longer than the entire wharf.

But of all the areas, my favorite place to hang out was the room with the mirrors. It was much more rudimentary compared to the less modest rooms I had grown accustomed to seeing in Erebor. It was spacious enough and the pale marble ceiling hung high above, but there were no furniture or paintings to decorate the walls. The only objects placed around the room were these tall mirrors that were larger than twice of me put together. They were oval shaped and their edges were rimmed with smooth white gold bent into tendrils. They did not appear to have been built from a dwarf's hands, and their design seemed closer to an elvish make. There were four of them altogether, each mirror standing against one face of the wall.

I had discovered the place by complete accident, having made a wrong turn from the palace armory. The mirrors gave a sense of charm to the entire room, and I wiped the layer of thick dust sitting on the glass as I wondered to myself how such fragile objects had survived the dragon's wrath. My pale reflection stared at me as I sat in the middle of the room, lost in my thoughts.

In hindsight, I think the reason why I felt such an attachment to that room and the large mirrors was that it gave me hope. If something as delicate as glass could make it through all those years, surely I stood a better chance.


	10. Words of Truth

**Chapter X: Words of Truth**

* * *

It took another full night before Smaug completely thawed out from his disappointment in me. We were both inside the gold chamber, sitting about thirty feet away from each other. The gold coins all around us had sucked in the cold night air and I could not stop shivering as their metallic surfaces touched my bare legs. I pulled the thin red material of my dress over my legs, though this achieved very little in containing the warmth.

"Come closer, child," Smaug called me over after watching me for a long time.

I gladly made my way over, relieved Smaug was speaking to me again. I had to admit that it was infinitely better to remain on the good side of a dragon who was notoriously volatile and dangerous. Even as I walked closer, I felt the tingling of warmth on my forearm from the heat radiating out of Smaug. Smaug wrapped his tail around my hips, drawing me into him. I tried not to shudder as his rough scales grazed my skin.

"My Storyteller," Smaug nuzzled my neck with thick smoke from his nostrils.

He spoke no more, but from just those two words I knew I had been forgiven. We sat still for a long time, listening to the soft chatter of the coins at our feet. It felt like never-ending days had passed since I had last seen Bard, and I felt unusually exhausted.

"What are you thinking?" Smaug asked, finally breaking the silence between us.

"I am trying to decide," I began hesitantly and in my tiredness I let my guard slip, "whether you are the flame that warms me in the cold, or the fire that will consume me in the night."

At my words, Smaug boomed with laughter. It caused his whole body to rock, and I had to grab at the scales of his tail where I was sitting on, to avoid being flung across the room.

"You are a brave creature," Smaug said in amusement when he eventually finished laughing, "Some would say bravery is a fatal flaw."

"And is it?" I asked, hoping that keeping up a conversation would hide my discomfort.

Smaug purred as he dug is claws deep into the sea of jewels.

"Words are better than silence. Truth is treasured more than lies. And your bravery is appreciated over the fear you have of me," he answered.

I simply nodded at his words, unsure of what to say. I curled up into a fetus position inside Smaug's tail, the same strange, bewitching drowsiness I had felt earlier now bleeding into me slowly. Smaug cradled me gently, the light in his orange eyes encouraging me to relax.

"Did the girl care for the boy?" Smaug asked suddenly.

It took me a moment to break out of my trance and realize he was referring to the story. I sat with my elbows propping my body up.

"Of course," I answered with a nod, _she still does_. "More than anyone else."

"When did she start caring?" Smaug asked, a genuine interest reflected in his eyes which glowed a shade brighter.

I paused for a while, a small smile cracking on my lips as my mind travelled to older and fonder memories that had not been forgotten.

"I believe she was just shy of turning nine years old," I said softly as I fidgeted with the crease on my dress.

"And what happened?" Smaug probed me curiously.

The smile on my lips lingered a moment longer as I began the story once more.

"She longed to go beyond the lake  
and see what beauty the Valar had made.  
She wanted to walk through grass that grew up to her knees,  
and at night she dreamt of climbing the tallest tree."

I heard a chuckle vibrate out of Smaug as amusement danced around in his eyes. I however felt oddly intoxicated, the drowsiness still lingering heavy over my head.

"Boy and girl, fletching and head.  
Hand in hand, they walked through the path that was windy and untrodden," my voice was thick and as if it was not mine.

"Sleep."

My voice sounded unnaturally deep and booming this time, only I realized it was not my voice at all. Smaug blew a ring of white smoke over my head as his orange eyes glittered stunningly.

"Close your eyes. Fall into a slumber with my diamonds. Dream about my mountain of gold."

His voice was smoother than the finest silk. I felt so comfortable. If I had to describe the feeling, it was like the crisp warmth that spreads through your body as you lie in bed on a rainy evening. _What is happening_ , I questioned silently, but even thinking was physically tiring and it cost too much of an effort to force my eyelids open. My head swam lethargically around Smaug's enchanting words, and I fell into a drunken sleep long before his voice ceased to speak.

* * *

 _Nobody made it clear to me that mama had passed away. I don't mean to say that her death was kept a secret from me, but more in the sense that it was never discussed. Adults kept telling me mama was 'gone' and that she was 'in a better place' which left me even more confused. How could a person simply be gone?_

 _Asking father for an explanation was not an option, for his heart was broken and any mention of mother was like reopening painful wounds. The only person I trusted enough to tell this to at the time was Bard. Over the months we had become good friends, and the fact that I managed to climb up the roof of Mr. Trad's glassware store faster than he could strengthened the bond between us._

 _We would sit at the end of the wharf as our fathers worked on the barges, the toes of our boots barely touching the water as our legs dangled over the edge. Bard was always patient, listening to my wild theories about the world and questions with an earnestness I felt from nobody else. To him I confided my longing to escape from the suffocating misery that shrouded our house ever since mother left._

 _"Where would you go?" He would ask each time this conversation popped up, although we both knew my answer remained unchanged._

 _"Somewhere warm," I would always reply with a grin that only appeared in front of him._

 _I remember one particular afternoon where Bard conveniently forgot to tie up his father's barge after helping him unload the morning's barrel of fish. The naughty excitement had made my skin tingle as we boarded the barge. I barely remember where the barge sailed, perhaps it travelled no further than the end of the wharf. It was the child anticipation and nervous excitement that I remember the most as we rode out together into the unknown._

 _Even when Bard eventually had to row us back to the wharf, a part of me felt complete and free for a short time afterwards. Our escape had been like an unplanned adventure and Bard being there made me feel fearless._

* * *

I felt like I was swimming in warm water when I finally awoke from my slumber. My legs were heavy to lift and my arms felt stiff. All my muscles ached and I massaged my throbbing temples with my knuckles rhythmically as I tried to remember what I had been thinking before falling asleep. For a moment I felt nothing but a thick and syrupy drowsiness. And then all of a sudden, a dreadful feeling collapsed inside of me.

"How long have I slept?" I asked aloud in panic, "How long?"

Smaug, whose tail was still wrapped around my body, did not answer. Instead, he looked away from me and stared in the direction of the entrance of the tunnel at the end of the room. My eyes followed and I saw two unopened parcels lying at the foot of the slide.

My heart hammered nervously as I forced myself free from the dragon's tail, the throbbing in my head worsening as I stood up too quickly. Ignoring the dizziness, I made my way towards the two lumps wrapped in brown paper. I placed my hand on one of the parcels carrying the bread which were by this time stone-cold.

"New stars are born every nightfall," Smaug spoke behind my back, his voice musing, "but what value is its light when time cannot reach below the mountain?"

I picked up the two parcels before turning around.

"May I take my leave?" I asked with as much control I could muster in my voice.

Smaug edged closer towards me, his eyes orange and bright.

"Always so curious," he said, bearing his white teeth at me, "perhaps the starlight may be waiting for you tonight."

He said nothing more but touched my forehead ever so gently with his snout. Even though his body radiated continuous heat, I shivered at the contact, my forehead feeling like it was burning.

I began my way up the stairs of the gold chamber, eyes kept straight ahead in case I gave away any impatience. I was not sure how long I had been missing, it could have been days or even weeks. _Whatever must Bard be thinking_ , I thought to myself nervously. He must be worried sick, if he did not already believe me to be dead.

The corridor seemed to stretch on forever. I sprinted down, clutching my side as my breathing became sharper. Finally the walls moved away and the empty courtroom came into view. I could hear the soft trickling of water running down the outer wall and the cold winter air push through the crevice. There was nobody on the other side, which was not surprising. I sat down at the foot of the crevice and waited patiently. After about an hour I heard the unmistakable sound of boots trudging through snow and as I looked out excitedly, Bard appeared from behind the mountain mist. There was obvious relief on his face when he saw me.

"What happened? Why did you not come? Are you alright?" Bard asked the stream of questions as soon as he arrived on the other side of the wall where I was sitting, slightly breathless from walking uphill.

I spent the next few minutes explaining to Bard about how I had fallen into the strange, enchanted sleep that kept me unconscious.

"So that is how the dragon preserves long life," Bard said in understanding after I had finished my recount of what had happened.

"Which explains why time affects me differently under the mountain," I filled in the gaps and Bard nodded in agreement.

"When you did not turn up, I feared the worst. But I couldn't give up on you that easily," he admitted, his light brown eyes shining slightly.

Bard smiled but there was a nagging feeling inside of me that I had to get out.

"He asked me if I hated him," I said as I stared at the ground where my feet were, "I...I'm not sure of my answer anymore."

Bard did not say anything for a while. I trusted him with my thoughts, for I knew he would never laugh at me.

"You are getting too attached to that dragon," he warned eventually in a strained voice.

"You say it like it's a bad thing," I said, strangely irritated that he did not understand me like he always did, "Is it so _wrong_ that at times I feel sorry for him?"

"You're lonely, Lari," Bard reasoned gently.

"So is he."

Bard let out an impatient sigh at my stubborn response.

"It's not the same. He's a monster that can't be trusted. You do know that," he said.

He was right, I did know that. At least, in my head that was true. My heart was now a completely different matter. It all felt like a muddle of feelings inside of me.

We talked about other things after that. Addy, school, the boats at the wharf. But nothing more on the matter of dragons and the Lonely Mountain were mentioned. We avoided the subject for the remainder of our time together, neither of us wishing to acknowledge the strange tension in the air. When Bard eventually had to make his descent down the mountain again, the loneliness inside of me grew deeper.

* * *

However, I feel the need to mention that this all occurred before I discovered a particular room inside Erebor. Perhaps if I had stumbled across this place earlier, my conversation with Bard may had turned out quite differently.

I was still thinking about what Bard had told me and why I had reacted so defensively. He was only trying to help me and I didn't care enough about Smaug the way Bard thought I did. _Do you truly not?_ I heard my own voice question me dubiously. _Yes_ , I answered to myself annoyingly. _I pity him, which is not the same as caring_.

I was so deeply lost inside my head that I missed turning the corner that led to the gold chamber. As I turned back to leave, a strange odor hit my senses, causing me to stop moving. It smelt of rotting fish and was most unpleasant, to put mildly. With a growing nervousness I walked towards the stench, my feet stopping in front of a large wooden door. It was unlocked and the door was opened by the smallest of cracks, emitting a sunless grey light. I found myself taking a sharp breath as I pushed the door wide open.

What I saw before me that day is a sight I can never erase from my mind.

Bones. Piles of bones scattered carelessly all around the room like shells at the edge of the lake. There were long bones and skulls, some smashed to one side. The fishy smell thickened and pierced my nostrils as I stared around at the massacre in horror. Some of the bones were still connected to each other, their slim skeleton giving the ghost structure of a human, not dwarf. Red fabric caught my eyes, stuck to the bones like blood.

With a horrible lump sitting inside my throat, I bent down to pick up a shred from the floor. The material was identical to the red dress I was wearing. All these skeletons must have belonged to the girls who had been chosen before me. I couldn't understand how or why Smaug would put their bodies together in one room. The idea of killing his offerings in the same room every time sickened me. I felt a lurching in my stomach and blind spots blotched my vision like ink stains on paper. A sudden impulse to leave rushed through my veins and I ran out the door with my hand covering my mouth. I barely stumbled out of the room before I was on my hands and knees on the ground, vomiting and gagging all over the cold marble stone.

It was him, he ate them all and let the remains of their corpses rot without a grave. My nose stung as tears formed in my eyes.

'He's a monster that can't be trusted'.

 _Bard is right_ , I thought as I forced myself to stand up. _I am an idiot to trust a dragon_. He is a dragon. A soulless, bloodthirsty and insane beast, nothing more.

* * *

"You are disappointed in me."

Those were the words Smaug said aloud as he watched me drag myself down the steps of the gold chamber. I kept my head down, unable to look at him in the eye. I felt sick to the bone and a newfound hatred against the dragon grew inside of me. I stopped at the bottom of the stone steps, standing twenty feet away from his front paw.

"It could not be hidden from you forever," Smaug spoke almost absent mindedly, as if he had been expecting my discovery all along.

"You...you are a murderer," I blurted out as I struggled to find the right words, my eyes still focusing on the gold coins at my feet.

Smaug did not answer and in his silence, he denied none of the crimes accused against him.

"Those poor girls...you killed every single one of them. You did not care, you still do not care about anyone else," I continued bitterly, "You are a monster! A cruel, selfish monster."

A deathly silence filled the chamber once I stopped yelling. Smaug stared at me intensely, his eyes which were at first amused, became annoyed and a nasty sneer appeared on his face. He sat up taller so that his upper body almost touched the stone bridge way built over our heads. From such a height, he appeared even more menacing and dangerous. There was no sunlight, but he seemed to emit his own red glow.

"You, child of men, of mortal flesh. Do not call me such names when your own race is riddled with the same flaws you drape over me!" Smaug snapped in a loud and scornful voice that caused the coins to rattle, "Mortals are just as guilty! They try to possess everything - wealth, reputation, even the things they claim to be most valuable and human of qualities, such as _love_."

He spat the word 'love' out as if it was distasteful in his mouth. Smaug's rage was building up to a dangerous level, but at this point I was too angry and disgusted to care.

"Is that not what I am to you? Nothing more than another object for your collection, another rock in your chamber," I argued back, "To you I am without feeling and am always ready at your disposal."

I must have struck a nerve there because I saw a wave of fury cut across Smaug's face at my words. His eyes looked more hurt than angry though as he scowled down at me.

"Is that what you think of me, girl?" He questioned me angrily.

However, his rage no longer frightened me and I glared back at his fuming face. Minutes passed as we glared at each other, a strange sight it would have been if not for the resentment filling the air. I looked away eventually, unable to stare at the gleaming yellow pupil of Smaug's eyes any moment longer.

"I am never going to be able to leave this place, am I?" I asked quietly instead as a wave of sad realization washed over me.

Smaug grew silent as his fiery anger died down to ashes at my words. The orange glow returned to his eyes but his pupils were now shiny and moist. His tail swam through the sea of gold surrounding us as he wrapped it around my waist gently. I did not bother trying to escape from his hold and I let Smaug draw me in closer.

"Finish the story," he said in a clear voice that barely gave away any emotion.

I said nothing as I closed my eyes, tears spilling down my cheeks. Smaug spoke again, in a softer and what sounded like a more hesitant voice.

"Finish the story, child. If you do that, I shall grant you your freedom."

* * *

 _ **Hello! Wow it seems like forever since the last time I updated. I'm very sorry about that. Exams, life and procrastination caught up to me. I shall try to update faster next time. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed reading this chapter! Thanks~**_


	11. Black Gold

**Chapter XI: Black Gold**

* * *

At first I thought my ears had deceived me. But Smaug's words had been nothing less than loud and clear.

'Finish the story, child. If you do that, I shall grant you your freedom'.

"Do you mean what you say?" I asked in a trembling voice, "Will you let me leave?"

My heart beat excitedly when Smaug nodded without looking at me in the eye. This was what I needed and desired the most - a chance to save my life. However, I knew it was much too early to celebrate. Moreover, I was still unsure whether or not I trusted the words of a dragon entirely, especially after I had seen such a murderous side to him. I felt as though I was playing an elaborate chess game with Smaug where every move was crucial. But could I trust him not to kill me before my turn was up?

"I will keep my word if you remember your promises to me," Smaug said as if he could read my very thoughts, "I am many things, but a liar is not one of them."

His eyes glowed the brightest of orange, a shade so deep it could almost be mistaken as scarlet.

"Then let me continue with the tale," I offered with skepticism.

When Smaug did not say anything I took a deep breath and began to speak.

"Girl and boy climbed up the mountain.  
Until they reached the highest peak,  
where the town looked small and the lake stretched beyond the place their eyes could seek."

An air of calmness seemed to settle around us as I continued the tale, the anger from both sides completely evaporated and gone. A heavy whoosh blew past my face and legs as Smaug let out a deep sigh, causing my dress to flow outwards slightly. Reassured, I continued in a smoother voice,

"They waited.  
But for what, neither knew.  
When at last they flexed their shoulders wide,  
and feathered wings the shade of pearl  
unfolded out from their blades.  
With their hands were still locked tightly to the other  
they waited for the next breeze.  
The girl shut her eyes tight, but the boy watched her beside him,  
as their feet lifted above the ground  
and their wings carried them above the clouds."

"You do not know freedom until you fly," Smaug said softly in a distant voice once I had finished, "When your body touches nothing but the air created by Eru and under the starlight of Arda."

I stared ahead as I tried to imagine what it felt like to be up in the air, light as a feather.

"Do you miss it? Flying, I mean," I asked curiously.

Smaug did not answer immediately, his eyes orange and sad.

"It does no good to dwell in what has been," was all he said.

I nodded and was about to respond when all of a sudden I felt the sickly, familiar drowsiness creep inside my mind. _Please, not again_ , I begged silently but the enchantment was relentless. It had caught alight and was spreading through my system fast. I caught my breath, too afraid to breathe in anymore of the toxic air. I could not afford to sleep now, at least not inside the gold chamber.

"Will you not sleep? Will you not rest that tired soul of yours?" Smaug suggested persuasively.

The orange orbs of his eyes swam in front of me like fireflies. The gold all around us seemed to murmur sadistically, as if they had a life of their own. Realizing my only escape was to leave the chamber, I clasped my hand over my nose and mouth. At that instant, there was a small 'clank' echo from behind us. Momentarily lucid, I made my way over towards the parcel wrapped in brown paper and picked it up. Smaug let out a huff of annoyance when I looked up at him in relief.

"You may take your leave," he said reluctantly.

I ran up the stairs, not daring to breathe in once until I was safely out of the gold chamber. I realized then that danger lurked everywhere, not only in the form of a large dragon. The entire place was parasitic, and all its haunted gold. I wasn't sure which would get me first - the anger of dragon fire, or the curse of the mountain.

* * *

I was not surprised to find Bard waiting for me on the other side of the mountain in front of the large crevice. His fringe was messy but did not conceal his eyes which brightened as I approached. We did not speak but simply held each other's hand, grateful for this precious moment.

"Hang in there," Bard said softly, knowing all too well that words did little to comfort me.

"How is it back home?" I asked with a brave face.

Bard shook his head sadly.

"Not too well, I am grieved to say," he answered, "there is a sickness passing through Esgaroth. People who catch it suffer for weeks with chills and fits of coughing."

I was shocked at Bard's answer, and my surprise was almost immediately replaced by fear for my family.

"Is...are they..." I struggled to ask.

Bard hesitated for a second before continuing, "I fear Addy has taken ill with it."

I felt a pit in my stomach as I imagined my cousin lying in bed, ill and violently shivering.

"How is she- Will she be alright?" I asked worriedly.

"Her illness is early. As long as she rests plenty in warmth she should recover," Bard replied, although I could not ignore the uncertainty hinting in his voice.

I nodded anyway and tried to think of something positive.

"At least she no longer has to work those grueling hours for the town's master," I suggested but stopped when I saw Bard shake his head again.

"What is it?" I asked with a frown.

"You wouldn't have known," Bard said in a heavy voice.

"Known what, Bard?"

Bard combed his hair uncomfortably a couple of times without saying anything.

"The gold your family was paid from the town's master - the gold that was exchanged for you," he said, "it was taken away."

"What?" I asked, bewildered, "by who?"

"By the master himself. His reason was that your father owed the council a large sum of gold due to him no longer working as the bargeman," Bard answered in a low voice.

I felt as though someone had just slapped my face and left me dazed and confused. Addy could not financially afford to have bed rest and my family was now worse off than ever. Which meant my sacrifice had all been for nothing. My confusion was replaced with a surge of anger of having been betrayed. And such emotion was stronger than any feeling of fear for my own safety.

"How much?" I asked angrily, "How much is needed to cover the cost?"

Bard stared at me, his brown eyes shining like they did whenever he was worried about me.

"A fair amount. But Lari, don't do anything hasty," he warned.

"I can't sit here around all this gold and do nothing!" I argued back heatedly.

Indeed I was living under a mountain shrouded in gold and jewels more valuable than the entire town of Esgaroth. Surely Smaug would not notice if a couple of stones were missing from his pillar. Bard seemed to have read my thoughts and he shook his head in disapproval.

"No," he said, "It's not worth it. There are other ways to get through this."

"It is worth everything if I can help Addy," I replied decidedly.

Bard sighed as a response to show he knew he could not convince me otherwise on the matter and that I had won the argument.

"Please, just be careful," he said eventually and I nodded to try to ease his worry.

Walking back down to the gold chamber, I do not believe I had ever been more nervous. I knew what I was about to do was beyond risky - if I was caught stealing, Smaug would, without a doubt, burn me alive.

* * *

 _Father stuck by the words he said to me that winter morning, about finding help. A few days later we had two new people move into our family home. One was a beautiful young girl the same age as me with big blue eyes, and the other was her widowed mother. They arrived on a long raft built out of wood rotting from the water, carrying no more than a single, old suitcase that was battered and worn from time._

 _It was a frosty winter morning when Aunt Maude and Addy arrived at our front door, their single brown suitcase bumping the floorboards of our hallway hard._

 _Right from our first meeting, I understood Aunt Maude was a person not be fooled around with. My first thought of her was how closely she resembled a sea snake or similar reptile, with her thin and long stature and oily, greying brown hair which was always tied into a tight bun. Her eyes were bright green unlike father's which was a muddy grey color. They darted left and right, scanning our small kitchen and modest furnishings. She said very little during the first few moments of our meeting, but the disapproving look on her face as she scanned her surrounding spoke volumes._

 _I remember the way Aunt Maude looked me up and down, taking in my unusually long arms and wide shoulders. I shrunk behind father's legs, desperate to escape her piercing gaze on me, like I was an object in a pawn store needing to be priced._

" _She is big," was all Aunt Maude commented about me._

 _Not noticing her reaction, father squeezed my shoulders encouragingly as he led me to the young girl who had been silent the entire time._

" _Lari, this is Addy," father told me and the girl looked up at the sound of her name, her brown curls bouncing off of her grey dress._

 _Even at the age of seven years, Addy was a child of natural beauty and loveliness that was rare to find. I feel I would have remained transfixed on her good looks had she not broken out into a wide, toothless grin before hugging me hard._

" _Will you be my sister?" She asked as she laughed as though she had not a care in the world._

 _I loved Addy from that moment onwards and she truly grew to fil the place of the sibling I never had. We did most things together, save my meetings with Bard. Addy seemed to understand that my friendship with Bard was special, and that for one reason or another she needn't join in our outings together. She had that gift of reading people's emotions well. In hindsight, I think that was what I was most thankful for._

 _Even carrying out chores was never boring with Addy and we would spend many afternoons by the wharf, splashing each other with water instead of doing the laundry. I was not as fortunate in building up my relationship with Aunt Maude, her serpent eyes never ceasing to follow my every move. I never thought to call her anything other than Aunt Maude, and Aunt Maude did not bother to change her title with me. In fact, her hatred towards me was one that was vulgar. Whenever we were in the same room, Aunt Maude would scrunch up her nose distastefully as if I was unpleasant stench that had invaded her personal space. Father never noticed – he was still far too preoccupied mourning alone._

 _For the first few days since our introduction, I felt Aunt Maude watch me behind my back tirelessly throughout the day, searching for loose ends and problems to pick faults with me. Her actions only made me clumsier, causing me to knock cups over the table with my long elbows and spill food over my freshly washed clothes. Aunt Maude would breathe out of her nose loudly whenever I made a mistake, as if she was making her point about me clear to anyone who was listening._

 _To Aunt Maude I was the trouble maker, the mistake, the reason for my mother's death and my father's grief. If I was being completely honest with myself, even at that age I could not toss the feeling that Aunt Maude wanted nothing more than to get rid of me from her private family portrait._

* * *

Silence greeted me at the entrance into the chamber. My footsteps echoed loudly under each stone of the stairs that winded down into the sea of gold that glittered greedily below. Instinctively my eyes flickered towards Smaug who lay about fifty feet away. The smoke billowing out of his snout rhythmically indicated that he was still asleep.

My heart beat nervously for I could not tell how much time I had until Smaug would wake up. I quickly scanned the area, searching for an object amongst all the treasure that could carry great value. This was not too difficult, as the entire room was filled with jewels and gold crafted by dwarves and elves. Rubies, gold, diamonds and silver flashed past my eyes busily.

I continued searching until I found what I had been looking for. A particular gem happened to catch my eye. It was a white, clear gem almost the size of my hand that sparkled brighter than all the other stones in the room. I could feel myself being drawn to its regal beauty, even forgetting momentarily about the sixty feet dragon that slept not far away. Stealing a final glance at Smaug, I crept over towards the strange jewel. Coins rattled softly under my feet but Smaug did not move. Up close the gemstone appeared even more beautiful, radiating minute shimmers of red, blue and green. I wet my dry lips with my tongue as I stretched my arm out towards the ground.

"You're late," Smaug growled just as I was about to pick the stone up from the floor.

I jumped up in surprise, but not before quickly stealing the smaller sapphire beside the gemstone into my pocket. In a split decision, I felt it would have been too obvious if I took the larger white gemstone as I had originally planned.

I looked up to see Smaug staring at me intensely, his eyes baring the thinnest sliver of yellow light.

"I...I lost track of time," I lied, my heart beating so fast it came out as a buzz in my chest.

Smaug huffed out a wide smoke ring from his nostrils. It floated towards me, covering my body in a white cape before disappearing into the air. It was impossible to tell whether he had caught me out. I looked ahead, carefully avoiding eye contact in case I gave away anything.

"Time, time, time," Smaug muttered impatiently as the smoke stroked my cheek, "Its meaning is nothing to me. It is but a continuously flowing river, never stopping nor changing."

"Shall I continue the story?" I asked a bit too quickly, desperate to change the subject.

Thankfully, Smaug nodded without further question, the glimmer of excitement returning to his eyes. Out of habit I sat down beside the dragon's front paw, only a few feet from his face. The sapphire pressed into my hips as I sat down, reminding me of the theft I had just committed for the first time ever in my life. What have you done? The voice in my head spoke in fear. Do you honestly believe you can get away with this? Of course, I didn't. But what choice did I truly have?

"They flew over the mountains and trees that grew over the snow.  
Crossing streams that joined to form rivers.  
They waved at the dancing fish in the waters below."

I spoke loudly in an effort to drown out the doubtful voice in my head more than anything else. Smaug closed his eyes as if in reminiscence, I however, did not stop speaking.

"She searched," I continued without a pause, "she searched the waters, shallow and deep."

"Did you hear about the fish," Smaug suddenly interrupted, causing me to halt.

"Sorry?" I asked, confused as to where this was going.

"Did you hear about the fish that swam alone," Smaug answered in a deep voice, "it had none to share its woes of swimming against the tide. There was no one to comfort it when the waters turned to ice. No one heard of its yearning to be a man."

I suddenly understood that Smaug was not talking about a fish at all, but himself. He was alone, the last of his kind, and even dragons yearned company. But I was determined not to fall into the trap again – I knew what he was.

"I don't feel pity for you, not anymore," I said with a straight face, though my voice slipped slightly as I stared into his orange eyes.

"I know," Smaug replied before looking away.

Our conversation for the night ended at that. A rare ray of light separated itself from the sun and slithered into the gold chamber. Its light was red and raw, leaving me to dream about a bloodstained sunset when I eventually fell asleep before I could spin any more of the tale.

* * *

That night, I also dreamed of a dark cloud covering all of Esgaroth and its people. No matter how quickly I moved I could not pull Addy and Bard out from its grasp. I woke up sweaty and cold, the last image in my mind being their frightened faces and their mouths calling out my name which I could not hear.

It was still the early hours of the morning and any sleepiness had completely left me. Exactly how many days I had slept was difficult to work out, but I assumed it was short for my body felt less tired and my mind lighter than it did before. Checking that Smaug was still asleep, I left the gold chamber and made my way back to the deserted courtroom.

The frosty air from last night greeted me before blowing away as I walked towards the crevice in the wall. Bending down slightly, I placed the blue sapphire at the foot of the cracked wall. Its sheets of navy and black danced under the light. Knowing Bard would discover it later in the day, I breathed in the fresh air before returning to the gold chamber – my prison – once more.

* * *

 _ **Thanks for reading :) Merry Christmas and happy holidays!**_


	12. The Woodcutter and the Crying Tree

**Chapter XII: The Woodcutter and the Crying Tree**

* * *

I believe I have already mentioned this detail before, but there was a large well located in the middle of Esgaroth near the wharf. The well was shared amongst the working class villagers, it stood as the only source of clean water for many people. Daily retrieval of clean water was necessary, but undoubtedly trying on one's fitness.

I remember the first time I had to carry the bucket full of water all the way back home. I was eight years old, and Aunt Maude demanded that I should pull my load, or as she put it at the time, "grow up". Our home was located just under a mile away from the well. The full bucket was much too heavy for me to lift off the ground, so I ended up dragging it across the uneven wooden planks laid out over the water. I had to attempt a couple of times, for it was easy to knock the bucket over a loose board or nail sticking out of the planks. Each spill meant another trip back to the old well. By the time I had arrived home, there were angry red welts blistered over the palm of my hands and the lower half of my dress was soaked right through.

Now, the reason I mention this particular memory is not to complain or sulk about an aspect of my childhood. It is more in the realization I had awoken to that my current situation seemed to relate to this event. To explain in more detail, despite the task of carrying the bucket back home being undoubtedly a physical test, I did eventually get better at handling it. I developed ways and tricks to overcome the various obstacles, whether it was wrapping an old cloth around the bucket handle to prevent burns or clearing the path of any loose stones and nails beforehand. The job itself never changed, but I did through adaptation.

To see things from another perspective, there was a popular saying coined by the older villagers at Esgaroth.

' _Only the bargeman who braves the most dangerous waves shall catch the fattest fish_ '

It used to be used as words of comfort for families whose fathers had to row out for many hours a day in erratic weather to catch enough fish to sell and feed their children. Even after the times changed and the village supplies grew plentiful so situations became less desperate, the phrase still stuck. People would say it all the time. They said it out loud to their listeners, or muttered it under their breaths whenever misfortune struck. And if anything, adversities were a common routine in a town with so much dark history as Esgaroth.

True in my situation indeed, I slowly figured out ways to get through the long days. Like my younger self dragging the bucketful of water home, I started making small changes to, for want of a better word, _adapt_. For example, I realized that if I left the gold chamber immediately at the first sign of drowsiness coming over my consciousness, I could avoid falling into the enchanted sleep. I was particularly relieved about this, since even if Smaug was the size of a small street, I could still keep my wits with me as defense. Or perhaps it was because I was afraid of going insane - it certainly was not difficult to feel isolated and detached while living alone under a mountain that spared very little natural light. Regardless, I persevered to survive and I believe I would have continued to exist like this had it not been for what happened not long after my theft against Smaug.

Time continued to pass and it must have been the fourth day which started off no different from the other days prior. As always I weighed up my chances against Smaug's mood before slipping out of the gold chamber. Already the spell was lifting, unable to follow me up the stone steps leading upwards. My head felt clearer and my lungs more full of air as I raced towards the courtroom with the large crevice in the wall where I knew Bard was waiting for me. However, that fourth day was to turn out very different.

As soon as I saw Bard approaching on the other side of the wall, I knew something was wrong. The smile on his face was absent and nothing could hide the deep crease formed on his forehead and the dark shadows that hung below his bloodshot eyes. His hair was disheveled as if he had run his hands through it continuously.

"I missed you," I said softly as I extended my hand through the gap.

Bard held my hand, his eyes not looking at me but instead concentrating on his fingers that massaged my thumb and palm softly like he was studying each crease and wrinkle. The tension in his brow made me feel nervous and afraid.

"Did you get the jewel? Is Addy any better?" I asked, my thoughts instantly going to my cousin who I was last told to be ill.

Bard nodded reassuringly.

"She's fine, just tired," he answered and I breathed out in relief, although the shadow in Bard's eyes refused to clear.

He seemed to be stalling his time and sensing this, I waited patiently in silence. A few more minutes passed like this until Bard's face scrunched up as if he was in pain, the effort to say what was sitting on his chest evident. Finally, Bard spoke.

"They were bringing the boats back in to the wharf… It was dark and they couldn't see where they were steering the vessels. Nobody could stop the collision…I don't know how it happened, I wasn't there…" he said, his voice cracking.

Bard paused and blinked hard a couple of times, his eyes shiny with tears. His fingers were gripped around my hand so tightly that they shook, but I felt nothing except the heavy beating of my heart against my chest.

"What happened?" I asked in a whisper.

My stomach began tying itself into a painful knot as Bard's face contorted with emotion. I didn't want to hear the words and feel his hurt which was already burning through me like fire on hay. I didn't believe I could be the person he needed, the steadily standing tree. And I was deeply shamed for feeling that way. Bard looked up eventually, tears flowing down his cheeks. His voice was shaky and broken as he spoke the words I couldn't block from entering my ears,

"My father….dar….he didn't make it. Lari...my dar is gone."

I cannot remember what words were exchanged after that. It hardly seemed to matter anyway, they would have all been no more than pitiful efforts. The knot in my stomach continued to grow tighter and refused to untie itself long after we parted, and it was not only because I had just received the news that Bard's father had passed away.

Till this day I still do wonder how differently my story would have played out had this chapter of my life not been written, had I never found out about the tragedy that took away Bard's father from his children. But as with all the strange and unpredictable works of fate, this event did happen and like the words spoken to me from an old friend, it does no good to dwell in what has been.

And so that night in the gold chamber after my meeting with Bard, I made my decision. The choice was easy enough to make inside my head, since I knew it was the right thing to do for him. My heart was less willing but for once, my mentality took control. The truth was, I couldn't bear to let my best friend suffer at my expense any longer. That kind of selfishness was detrimental, and I would not be able to live myself if I allowed it to continue. It was clear as water to me as to what had to be done.

* * *

On my way to meet Bard two days after our last visit, I walked as slowly as I could. I repeated the words that I was to say inside my head repeatedly, over and over again. But each time it sounded all wrong, as if someone else had put the words in my mouth. To my despair, the corridor ended earlier than I had imagined and the crevice was already visible ahead. Each step I took brought me closer to the final hour, again reminding me of my pathetic powerlessness.

Bard was already waiting for me on the other side, the brown fur on the collar of his coat softly wet from the snow and mountain dew - it must have been sometime in the early morning. He looked gaunt and pale, unlike the strong barge boy I used to know.

I sat down wordlessly, not making any eye contact due to the guilt that was now eating away at me. Seeing Bard made me hate myself even more for what I was about to do next.

"Are you alright, Lari?" Bard asked concernedly as he watched me fidget with my fingers nervously.

I nodded and tried to smile, though it came out sort of lopsided.

"How are you doing?" I asked instead, partly to steer the conversation away from me but more because I was genuinely worried for him.

"We are holding on, our family together," Bard answered in a resilient voice, although I caught the sadness floating in his eyes.

Bard had two younger brothers and anyone could tell this winter would be particularly hard for them, which gave even stronger motivation for me to encourage him not to return to the mountain. He needed to stay at home and look after his family, especially his poor mother.

"Do you remember the tale of the woodcutter and the tree that stood outside his home?" I asked in a small voice as I stared at my feet.

It was a folk tale that all the children in Esgaroth grew up listening to.

 _ **(Once upon an age, there lived a widowed woodcutter in a comfortable cottage built from stone at the edge of the woods. The woodcutter had no heir nor living family, but he was not lonely for he had a special companion. An old tree stood beside his home, dressed in emerald leaves that glittered brilliantly under the sun. In the summer she blossomed red brooches, and during winter she was clothed in a white snow petticoat.**_

 _ **The seasons changed but the tree remained steady as a rock beside the cottage and the woodcutter who lived inside its walls. Each day and night she kept the lone woodcutter company, providing shade from the jealous sun that glared at the earth below.**_

 _ **The woodcutter looked after his tree like a mother cradled her babe. Every week he painted her roots with gum against insects, and quenched her thirst during the summer droughts.**_

 _ **But alas, he could not stop the deadly blight that spread all over the forest. It cut through earth's creation with a dangerous hatred, strangling the stems and drying out new roots. No plant nor tree was safe from its putrid grasp, not even one as cared for like the woodcutter's tree.**_

 _ **It did not take long before the green leaves yellowed and withered away pitifully, till at last only the skeleton of what had been remained. But the tree remained where she was, guarding her place beside the woodcutter's home.**_

 _ **Day by day the tree trunk shrunk thinner and the flesh on the once blood-red berries dried away to stones.**_

 _ **Unable to stand and watch on any longer, the woodcutter pulled out his rusty, iron axe from his kitchen. It felt heavy in his hands, like all the weight of her impending fate rested on it as he walked outside.**_

 _ **The first swing was the hardest, he felt the sharp edge of blade running through his own flesh as the axe knocked the bark. On the second swing, his body became numb to the feeling altogether and by the third swing he felt nothing on his fingertips. The only indication to the woodcutter was the clear, crystals tears that trickled out of the tree's wounds. And so she fell in a pool of tears, glad that it was her very own woodcutter who had delivered the final blow.**_

 _ **As for the woodcutter, he rested his head on the dead stump and wept until even the sun left his side. He did what he did because he cared.**_

 _ **There are some who even say he did it out of love.)**_

Bard nodded at my sudden question with a small smile but I stared ahead blankly.

"Of course I do," he said as he raised an eyebrow, "Though I am curious to know how any of it is relevant."

"I...I am the woodcutter and...And you are my tree," I began slowly, unable to control the shaking in my voice.

From the corner of my eye I saw Bard take half a step back. I gathered enough courage to look up at his face that appeared equally shocked and confused at my words.

"Lari, what..why are you even saying this?" He asked patiently, though his knuckles were white as he gripped the stone ledges in front of him hard and his breathing became uneven.

"...I'm sorry."

Bard and I, we grew up together. The storyteller and her trusty bowman, that's who we were. We knew what made each other laugh and what the other was thinking without asking. So this all made it harder for me to say anything other than apologize. I elected to keep silent, refusing to explain myself anymore even though I knew deep down that Bard deserved to know why.

"You are not going to see me again," Bard said finally after a pause as realization dawned on him.

I nodded before looking away, unable to face him any longer.

"Isn't it obvious how I feel about us? About you?" Bard pressed me with his question, desperate to have me change my mind which was already set.

"I have to do this on my own. You have to go live your life now, Bard. Beyond the time spent with me here," I pleaded, "So I beg you not to come back. I...I won't see you again."

"Just stop! What about how I feel? What if.." Bard closed his eyes for a couple of moments before continuing, "What if I need you, more than you think I do?"

"You're going to be alright, Bard," I said as I swallowed hard, "Please don't make this more difficult than it is."

"Don't do it..Please."

Bard's final words sounded faint, as if we were standing on opposite ends of a long tunnel and he was already getting further away from me.

I stood up from where I had been kneeling, my legs stiff and unwilling to leave. I could hear Bard call my name but like I said, it all sounded faint and a mile away. Like a lost mouse I left the crevice, ignoring Bard's pleas and urgent cries. Even after I turned the corner and walked down the hallways until his voice had completely died away, I did not stop. I just continued to walk forwards, wandering up the path that curved busily left and right.

Only once I had reached the very top of the stairs to the entrance of what looked like a large library did I drop to my knees, panting slightly. I did not cry then as I dropped my body even lower until I was lying on my back on the cold, marble floor. _I will never see him again_ , I told myself sadly. _Remember, it was you who hurt him_. _His father passed away less than a week ago. You shut him out when he needed you the most, because you are a selfish, little girl, just as Aunt Maude said._

Bard's solemn face continuously flashed in my mind, sending sharp jolts though my chest. A hundred other feelings and thoughts rushed around in my head – regret, guilt. But just for a moment, I felt that for once, I did something right.

* * *

After what felt like hours, I pulled myself up and finally returned to the gold chamber. As I walked down the black-stoned steps towards Smaug and his desert of gold, I learnt something - the silence hurt. I had not noticed it as strongly as I did now. It was an aching that rippled from my core and made my body tremor like I was freezing.

Smaug lifted his head from the ground as he watched me approach, his eyes never breaking its contact on me.

"Child," his voice soft but surprised, "what is it?"

At first, I considered denying anything was wrong. I could have said all was fine. But the ache was too raw inside of me, and I could tell Smaug sensed it all.

"It's just...I can't d-d-do this anymore," the words fell out of my mouth as a hushed whisper that was not fearful, but instead filled with grief.

My lips quivered as the tears that I had been holding onto finally welled up in my eyes. I could not tell for certain if Smaug empathized with me, but he said nothing more as he gently guided my body with his long neck and sat me down onto the coil of his tail.

A tearful cry choked out of me like a wounded animal. Once I had started, I could not stop weeping. I howled and wailed loudly, not caring who was listening. I had closed the only window to my past life completely. And worse, I had let down the one person who had stayed by my side. He had been my sturdy tree rooted firmly to the ground, shielding me against the storm. And I had cut the tree down, only it was my heart that was now sliced in two.

Through all this, Smaug remained quiet, his orange eyes never blinking once. He offered no words as he rocked my body gently left and right like a lullaby. The tears rolled off my face and dropped onto his red scales, seeping through like raindrops on dry cloth.

And, for the first time ever, I understood why father became such a broken man when the tide stole his Chrysan away.


	13. Heart of a Lion

**Chapter XIII: Heart of a Lion**

* * *

After cutting contact with Bard, I lost track of all time. It felt better and more bearable when I did not know how long I had been trapped under the mountain anyway. I realize how incredulous it may sound now that I desperately missed Bard's visits when it was I who pushed him away, but it is true. Looking back, I cannot say that don't I regret making that decision, although at the same time I still feel it was the right one to make.

I think at the time, what I saw in Bard was my younger self. The lost, afraid child whose family was dangerously close to falling apart to pieces. His father had unexpectedly passed away, leaving Bard to take care of his mother and siblings. I wasn't going to burden him with my troubles on top of his own. It is better to release the songbird from its cage than to keep it locked up to admire forever. I guess deep down I also did not trust Smaug's promise completely enough to bet both my and Bard's future. I didn't want Bard to wait for me, especially for an outcome that was only a possibility.

My stories dried up fruitlessly as I lost inspiration to continue, something I am embarrassed to admit to now. I didn't have anything to look forward to short term and the prospect of freedom at the very end of everything seemed so far away to be real. Surprisingly though, Smaug did not probe me to go on, most days even allowing me to wander around Erebor without returning to the gold chamber for days. It was as if he was finally figuring out that unlike a dragon, I needed more than his warmth and jewels to feel whole again.

We talked about other things instead - Mermaids, faeries, lost stars and other such hidden secrets in Middle Earth. Smaug's knowledge on the subject was never-ending, and the long-winded conversations kept me well distracted for hours in a day.

And so time flowed by on the outside, forgetting us under the mountain. The brown parcels continued to drop down from the top of the tunnel, a gift that made me both smile and cry. It hurt so much not knowing how both my family and Bard were doing, and it hurt even more knowing that I could do nothing about it.

Days continued to past, and the air under the mountain grew warmer and the rare natural light that wound up inside the palace lingered longer beside the jewels that were sprinkled with dust. Winter was finally coming to an end, though I was unable to see the outside to be sure. Instead, I imagined the thick ice melting away with the arrival of the spring breeze, leaving pools of water that glowed gold under the sun. I tried to imagine Addy healthy and happy, smiling under the warm rays of the sun. And I never once stopped thinking about the boy who played with arrows, who would be untying the barges at the wharf in the early morning to catch the fish returning for spring.

* * *

With my visits to the crevice waned and gone, I began exploring Erebor's grounds more than ever. Looking back, I can really only say that the design of the palace was truly remarkable. No matter how far I walked, every day I discovered a new hidden chamber. The place was as elaborate as a maze. Even the library had secret rooms contained within its walls and hand-carved bookshelves that turned into doors without handles.

It was during one of these spontaneous discoveries that I came across a small study behind a shelf of dried herbs. The room was small, hardly larger than my own bedroom back home. Unlike the other rooms, it was filled with rolls of parchment laid out across the floor and on top of the wooden desk that stood against the far, center wall. I picked up one of the scrolls curiously from the ground. It was spotted with various dwarven characters that were impossible to decipher. I examined each parchment in interest as I approached the wooden desk. The other scrolls were similar, some even contained rough sketches of axes and stone diagrams that were carefully annotated by someone.

My eyes naturally travelled to the scrolls sprawled all over the wide desk built out of strong, beige colored wood. One parchment in particular caught my eye. Different to all the others, it was deliberately rolled open and held flat by stone paperweights on each four corners.

The parchment was crackly and stained from old age, but the inked words were still reasonably fresh and shiny. When I bent down to examine the scroll more closely, I was surprised to find that the words were not dwarven but in the language used by men. Both delighted and excited, I quickly scanned my eyes down the page.

' _ **My name is Dara. I was given away by my village. I am still here, but not for long.**_ '

My heart skipped a beat when I read those words scrawled untidily over the old paper. An offering. A survivor. I read on, my knees knocking into each other in nervousness as I moved the paperweights and picked the paper up from the desk.

' _ **Cormlle naa tanya tel'raa. It is the only elvish phrase I know. I had hoped to meet a true elf before death, but that dream has fallen like the shooting star which painted the sky last night. I did not know my final words expressed in this world would be so rushed, but I do not have the luxury to be picky. I can feel his heat, his flames and anger towards men.**_

 _ **My end grows nearer, I hear him like the booming drum that sent me off from the wharf. Perhaps in another lifetime my fortunes will be kinder. Yet strangely, now that it is actually happening, I am not afraid. After all, death is but a door, a way for me to leave this place and finally fly free.**_ '

My hands shook as I imagined the young girl writing this note alone while hiding from her hunter, all the while knowing that her life was doomed.

' _ **I know this cycle of power and poverty will not end with me. Another girl will surely take my place and fill in that missing wheel in the contraption that never stops turning. But if you are reading this note, please know that I am praying for you. And if you ever find yourself doubting your fate, just remember, you have the heart of a Lion. Never forget that someone out there, where the rain kisses the lake, is missing you like the leaves that reach for the sun. Never forget that you are loved. You, brave girl with a Lionheart, will always be loved.**_ '

At the very bottom of the paper there were a couple of sentences roughly written even more untidily than the rest of the letter, as if the writer had run out of time,

' _ **I miss my mother more than any other feeling. I just want to see her.**_ '

A teardrop dropped onto the wrinkled paper, smudging the inked 'mother' slightly so that it looked like it was flowing off the note. I placed my thumb over my check, realizing only then that I had been crying. I couldn't stop my mind from imagining what had happened to the girl and the fire that would have taken her.

I rolled up the paper and placed it in my pocket, for it didn't seem right to just leave the parchment where it was. I don't know what it was that motivated me, but I picked up the dusty quill sitting inside a sticky, ink jar. Without thinking, I drew a thick, black line on a blank, crackly parchment lying on the desk. The need to write something, anything, was overflowing inside of me.

As the scribbles rolled off the inked quill and onto the paper, they arranged themselves into words. After a while I found myself writing to the mysterious girl who had left the note behind, Dara. It seemed the most obvious thing to do, since I could not think of anyone else who would have empathized with me any better. More importantly, I guess I felt that the girl deserved a reply, no matter how late it was.

' _ **My name is Lari,**_ ' I began carefully, ' ** _I am an offering to the Lonely Mountain. I never knew you properly, yet I feel as if you are beside me now as a companion._** '

And almost as quickly as it appeared, the rushed, urgent feeling inside of me disappeared. I stared at the sentence scrawled untidily on the paper, momentarily lost for words. I rubbed my nose absent mindedly a couple of times as I tried to think of what more to write. The shell pendant hanging around my neck nudged against my chest gently, as if to remind me of my true feelings. I had almost forgot about the pendant till now, and I fingered the smooth edges softly with my finger.

' _ **I had a friend. He was always there watching out for me. As children, he even stood out in the cold with me for hours when I was grounded by my Aunt. But I lost him. I told him not to return to the mountain - that he should not try to see me,**_ ' I scribbled down hastily.

' _ **I thought I was helping him, but maybe even that was selfish of me to believe.**_ '

As the words spilled out of me, I remembered everything again. The memories were so clear inside my head once more, as if the events happened only yesterday.

' _ **I was trying to do my best, even if that meant pushing away the things that truly mattered and should be held onto. Will I be forgiven? It does not matter anyway, at least not until I can escape. Did you feel this helplessness that I am feeling as well?**_ '

With the final question I rolled the parchment shut and sat still. The air felt thick and the smell of iron vitriol, copper and yellowing paper was strong. I frowned - It still did not feel right, like I had not completely dropped everything off of my chest. The shell pendant tickled my skin, encouraging me quietly. I fingered it warily with my thumb before picking up the quill once more. Slowly, I opened the paper up again back to the side where I had been writing. In careful handwriting, I inked the words that I truly wanted to say.

' _ **I understand the woodcutter. I understand my father. I daresay, even understand a dragon and his erratic behavior - for despite all its shine and un-aging beauty, that gold does not buy true company nor soul. And I must not forget that a thing without a soul can only be a thing, nothing more.**_ '

A swift yet comforting breeze blew in from nowhere, lifting the paper off the desk and letting them dance down to the floor. I watched it drop, not making any movement to pick it back up. The wind felt like a whisper in my ear as it travelled through the room, but by the time I had placed the quill back into its jar, it had already left.

* * *

' _You, brave girl with a Lionheart, will always be loved._ '

Having returned to the gold chamber, I shut my eyes and repeated the words written on the letter inside my head. Smaug was lying around ten feet away from me, his head resting on his front legs that were curled inwards. By now I had become used to his piercing gaze on me, and secretly stroked the parchment tucked inside my pocket.

 _Lionheart..._

"What is a Lion?" I asked aloud, unable to hold back my curiosity any longer.

"A fearless beast that wears a crown brighter than gold around his head," Smaug answered from where he lay as if he had been expecting the question the entire time, "His eyes are two emeralds that seek everything, whether you wish to hide them or not. If you stare into the Lion's eyes long enough, he will show you your deepest desires that even you are not aware of."

I tried painting a mental picture using Smaug's description and was surprised that the final image was not so unfamiliar at all.

"I think I saw a Lion once," I said with my eyebrows scrunched up together in concentration as I tried to recall something from a long time ago, "it was in a tapestry at one of the stalls in town. I can't remember exactly how old I was then, perhaps ten or eleven years."

I had found the tapestry in Mr. Trad's old stall which sold all sorts of unusual antiques. It was while I was waiting for Bard in the morning, as I always did. In the tapestry, the stitched in Lion had been what Smaug had described. He was standing above a blue tower that stretched high into a fiery cotton sky. His fur had been sewn in a golden thread that contrasted handsomely with the burnt, red background. A large mane that resembled yellow flames were decorated around his face, giving off an air of effortless regality. The magnificent creature was standing on his hind legs, his mouth opened wide as if he was roaring loudly. I remember staring at the stitching with fascination, having never seen before a beast more exotic yet ferocious.

"Are they real beasts? Have you ever seen a Lion in the flesh?" I asked in fascination.

Smaug closed his eyes at my question briefly. When he opened them again, his cornea was orange and his pupils relaxed.

"I have looked into the emerald eyes once, yes," he answered in a low voice.

"What did you see?" I pressed.

"A darkness that grew nearer and nearer until it swallowed everything around it," Smaug answered as swirls of grey smoke danced above our heads.

I thought over the words, finding it difficult to understand why anyone would desire a dark hole out of nowhere.

"That is a strange thing to desire," I said eventually, genuinely confused.

A deep rumble travelled through the golden coins as Smaug laughed amusedly at my response.

"Yes," he agreed as fire danced in and out of his eyes, "yes it is, like so many other things in Middle Earth. What I seek is beyond the understanding of mortals. It is so tiring holding onto knowledge alone."

Against my best efforts, a small smirk formed at the edge of my lip at Smaug's arrogance.

"Is it now?" I asked with slight sarcasm, still smiling, "You certainly are unpredictable, wise Smaug."

Smaug grinned, his teeth shiny as pearl.

"Don't tell me you only just figured that out, my naive child," his eyes crinkled as he grinned wickedly.

Smaug swung his tail around my hips and brought me closer towards his face. I could see molten fire flow in between the cracks of his scarlet scales.

"All humans are fools, especially those who give their heart away. But my child, you are smarter than them," he spoke so clearly, yet I could swear his lips were hardly moving.

"Smarter? What do you mean by that?" I asked tentatively, suddenly aware of the tense atmosphere.

A prickly feeling slithered down my spine at his words, and I wasn't so sure whether I liked Smaug's comment.

"Smarter," Smaug repeated with a shiny glint in his eyes, "for you have seen how love can scorch and strip the body off of life. You know that even the smallest of flames can burn. And so you understand not to get too close to the fire, no matter how warm its embers may seem. Yet, you are still young and pure like the morning dew."

The scales on his hide stood up on an angle, scraping my arms and legs. It felt painless but made goose flesh rise up on my skin, as if somebody was constantly sliding metal blades against each other beside me.

"It does not change my blood. I am mortal and am bound by the same fate." I said through gritted teeth, unwilling to agree we could ever be alike, "We will always be different."

"Ah, and by fate," Smaug mused as he tapped my back twice with his tail, "do you mean death?"

I remained silent in stubbornness. Smaug moved his face in closer to mine until my forehead barely touched the tip of his snout.

"No man joys at knowing that he will end in death. But you can stay here, with me, till time grows still. You can get away from the fate that binds mortals. All you have to do is choose. Choose to be mine."

At first I thought Smaug had entered into another one of his manic states, but his eyes were clearly lucid and orange. They sparkled like polished silver, beckoning me to succumb to his words.

"No, not me. Never will I be yours. I am going to leave this place, alive and proud."

I squirmed away from his grasp, feeling like worms were crawling under my dress.

"Very well," Smaug hooted, sending out sparks of ember, "you carry on running. Run from what can only be. But always remember that it cannot last."

The red scales decorating Smaug's body were overflowing with heat, yet a cold shiver slid down my spine slowly like a serpent. Refusing to let his words bewitch me to sleep, I balled my fists and chanted the promise I had made to the girl, inside my head over and over again,

' _I must not forget that a thing without a soul can only be a thing, nothing more._ '

And there were definitely no tales I knew of that claimed there ever was a dragon that held a soul.

* * *

 _ **Hello!**_

 ** _Thank you for reading my story and leaving reviews :) I noticed there was some confusion surrounding Lari's decision to stop seeing Bard. After reading the feedback I can see my writing was rushed so it looked like the plot line came out of nowhere. I hope this new chapter makes things a little clearer *sheepish smile*. Reviews and constructive criticism are always welcome :D_**

 ** _Happy reading and writing~_**


	14. The Eye that Never Sleeps

**Chapter XIV: The Eye that Never Sleeps**

* * *

Few things really happened for a while under the mountain. Trying to remember it all now, those days seem to have melted into each other as a dull blur inside my head. I slept for many days at a time, and when awake, I was company to the last dragon in Middle Earth.

However, there is one event that stands clearly in my memory. I had been sitting alone inside the room with the four long mirrors when the event took place. It was easy to lose track of time and any sense of reality in that particular room, probably because it was so isolated and lonely. I was staring into the second mirror on my right, when an unfamiliar object behind my reflection caught my eye. When I turned around, I saw a dusty, navy crystal ball lying on the floor. I walked over to catch a better look. It was larger than both my fists combined together, and heavier than I thought when I picked it up from the ground. I blew the dust away slightly and polished the glass with the sleeve of my dress. The crystal felt cool and smooth on my palm. Its deep navy shade gave the object a sense of beauty yet a certain coldness. I brought the crystal ball closer to my face, trying to capture the tiniest details.

I must have leant in too close because the next thing I knew I was falling head first into the crystal ball. It was as if some invisible, magnetic force was dragging me inwards. The grey walls dissolved away and the floor beneath my feet crumbled to dust. I felt my surprised gut lurch inside my body as the room around me span around so fast until I could see nothing but blackness. A deep yet screeching sound screamed inside my ears, blocking out all other noise. Just when I thought I was going to pass out from dizziness, the space around me stopped spinning. The standstill was so abrupt my head jerked forwards from the force. The noise that had filled my ears before quietened down till it was no louder than a small, high-pitched buzz that was difficult to compare with any sound I had heard before.

I looked around the darkness, confused. Darker shadows began grouping with each other to form larger, black shapes all around the empty space. Then, very quickly the black shapes changed again, this time into people. Buildings built out of thin air arranged themselves around the people who were all walking around with vacant expressions. The place was definitely familiar, and I realized half a moment later that I was back at the wharf in Esgaroth.

"How is this possible," I asked aloud, completely mesmerized.

The wooden boards on the wharf were stained red, and I could see the sun setting below the Lonely Mountain. A man with his eyes facing the ground walked towards my direction, a rack of fish loaded heavily on his back. I tried to move out of the way, but my feet seemed glued to the spot. It was impossible for me to change position in any sort of way, no matter how hard I tried. Expecting the pile of fish on the man's back to fall on top of me, I shut my eyes and shielded my face with my hands before the man collided with me. But nothing happened, and when I lowered my hands the man was already walking away from me on the opposite side. The only explanation was that he had walked through me, but, _how was that even possible_?

I began paying more attention to the other villagers around me. Some were selling produce at the stalls that creaked to one side, a couple of men were arguing with each other beside me. And yet, all of them, like the man who had been carrying the fish on his back, were ignoring me like I was invisible.

"Um….hello?" I called out to one of the men standing at the stalls who did not even look up from the basket he was inspecting.

'It couldn't be real,' I thought to myself, mortified, 'I've lost my mind, that's all. I've ended up like poor Mr. Sans who used to dance around the wharf in the afternoon while wearing nothing but his slippers.'

To investigate further, I stuck my hand into the back of an old lady who was standing near me. I was shocked when my hand went straight through her body, I felt no solid material - only air slipped through my fingers. I walked down the street slowly, bumping into no one, as I watched everyone who went past me. It felt strange yet comforting to be back at Esgaroth, even if it was likely to be an insane hallucination taking over my senses, or perhaps an overexcited dream.

I continued walking down the wide path until I arrived at the very edge of the wharf, where the fishermen were loading their barges back in for the evening. There were around five men, each standing less than twenty feet away from each other. My breath caught at my throat when my eyes fell on the familiar figure working silently amongst the other men who were much older than him. His brown hair was tied roughly, and his coat seemed to sort of hang over his shoulders sadly. Instinctively my arm stretched forwards, but to Bard I was no less visible than the frosty wind skating across Edorath. I watched him work relentlessly without a pause unloading the many barrels of fish and various elvish produce. After around half an hour once all the stock had been transferred, Bard finally unfolded his hips and wiped the sweat from his forehead. I noticed the way his eyes travelled up towards the Lonely Mountain that stood alone in the far distance. I couldn't tell what thoughts were going through his mind and my throat closed in as I stared at Bard's unsmiling face.

"Poor thing," a man spoke from beside Bard as he tied a tight knot around the wooden trunk of his own barge, "can't imagine being eaten alive by a dragon."

He was a tubby man with skin the shade of mahogany. There were many wrinkles lying around his messy beard, but there was a kind face hidden beneath it all.

"Forgotten like all the others, that's what's going to happen to her, you know," the man continued more to himself than Bard.

At first I thought Bard had not heard the man. But then just as the man was about to turn away, he broke the silence.

"No," Bard replied softly, his eyes still fixed on the mountain.

"You said something, son?" The man called out against the wind that howled sorrowfully.

I fingered the shell pendant as I waited with the man for Bard to speak. Bard turned his head to face the man properly before replying in a louder voice,

"I won't forget her. Not in all my lifetimes."

The buildings around the wharf began dissolving away. Bard and everyone else faded away a second later, leaving me standing alone in complete blackness. The screeching scream returned, ringing inside my eardrums. However, instead of spinning around like they did before, the empty surroundings began filling up as new walls erected around me. Furniture assembled themselves out of nowhere, including a long, full-sized mirror. I had seen the mirror before, countless times. The last time would have been that morning of my offering ceremony when Addy and I had both stared at our ghostly reflections together one final time. I was standing in the middle of my own bedroom at home. Everything was exactly as I remembered - the old wardrobe standing next to the mirror, and two beds positioned side by side to each other with the small window opened between the two headboards.

A figure was sleeping in one of the beds, her body rising up and down with effort.

"Addy!" I yelled out, again forgetting that she could not see me.

I began making my way over, pleased to be able to see Addy again. But I stopped when I heard the raspy breathing escaping her mouth. Addy's face was so pale and sweaty, the rosy cheeks were all but gone. Her hair which was once shiny and full with brown locks was now thin and dry. It spread out over the pillow messily, as if she had been exhausted from tossing and turning throughout the night.

Something dropped inside my gut, a sudden realization followed by the fear that grew over me. There was no other way to describe what I was seeing. My cousin looked like she was….dying. My lips felt dry like my throat and I swallowed hard, to no improvement.

"Addy…no…." I whispered.

A sob echoed from outside the room. It was muffled but still loud enough to be heard. I left our bedroom quietly, even though I was certain my footsteps would not disturb Addy. I made my way downstairs into the kitchen. I noticed a few extra plates sitting in the cupboards and half a loaf of bread sitting inside the bread tin, but other than that, not much more had changed. The muffled cries filled the air again and when my eyes followed the source of the sobs, they fell on Aunt Maude.

She was sitting on a kitchen stool, her fingers pulling at her disheveled hair as she rocked back and forth on her heels. The other hand was folded into a fist and covering her mouth to suppress her weeps. While not exactly cold-hearted, I always remembered Aunt Maude as being blunt and hard. She was like an iron board, unwilling to bend to sympathize with others. And yet, now, she just looked tired and so _sad_. Through the window above the stove, I could see a figure sitting outside on the porch. Father sat in his rocking chair that creaked every two seconds which could be heard through the front door that was slightly opened. He was smoking on his pipe, the thick smoke shielding majority of his face. The way he was slouched over gave the impression he had not moved away from his chair in hours, simply letting time slip by his side. I wanted to call out to father, my bitterness towards him had left long ago. I wanted to apologies and forgive, but I was no longer part of that world, at least in that moment I wasn't.

The room dissolved away again and both father and Aunt Maude disappeared into the air like the puffs of smoke that left father's old pipe.

This time I was prepared for the screeches that ripped inside my head, though the sound was still painful enough for the hair on my neck to stand on their ends. I closed my eyes and waited for the darkness to clear again and the screaming to stop. When I finally opened my eyes again, I found myself standing in a small, dark room. There was no breeze and a stiff staleness seemed to sit in the air above my head. The stone walls were grey due to them being naked of any sunlight. It could not be Esgaroth, for I could not recall a street nor store that resembled this lonely room. The only other logical guess then would be that I was in one of the hidden passageways deep inside Erebor, under the mountain. Some stairs led down from the room further underground. Stuck between walking out through the door and down the stairs, I eventually chose to venture deeper below. The stairs were not steep, but the stone steps had been roughly carved with the bumpy grooves not sanded out. The passageway was dark and curly. After every three steps I had to turn a corner, it was difficult to see anything in front of me clearly. I almost walked straight into a large mass blocking the final step of the stairs, though I doubt I would have felt anything if I did anyway. It took a couple of seconds for my eyes to adjust in the darkness. When they finally did, I found myself staring at the back of a girl wearing a bright, red dress. My hand reached out, but again I only grasped air. Her body was turned away from my view so I could not see her face. But the long golden hair that flowed like a river down the girl's back was enough for me to guess who she was. I was staring at me.

It was definitely a strange feeling, seeing myself huddled at the bottom of the stairs, as if I was observing a stranger. I saw the strange version of me bury my face into my hands that were shaking, the hair falling over my head completely.

' _What is wrong?_ ' I thought to myself, but then a large stomp echoed from above, making me jump in surprise.

The stomps grew louder and heavier and I felt the floor beneath us rumble and shake dangerously. There was a loud thud of something falling over near us, probably a bookcase. The sound seemed to be coming from the top of the stairs, above where I was hiding.

I stared desperately at myself still sitting on the step, as the shaking got louder.

"What are you doing?! Run!" I yelled helplessly, but the other version of me didn't look up.

Suddenly, the stomps came to a halt. It was so silent I could hear my own breathing which came out uneven and panicked. I watched the other, sad version of myself not lift my head from my hands once.

A loud, deafening roar echoed down the stairway, breaking the silence once more. But the room was no longer dark, it was glowing a bright orange instead. A sudden rush of heat blasted my back, and I turned around just in time to see a wave of fire roll down the passage towards us.

The version of me disappeared from view. Ripples of fire surrounded me, blinding everything around me. My body began spinning round and round, or the flames were spinning around me, I couldn't tell. Shadows of red and orange ran past my eyes. When the spinning around me slowed down, I found myself standing in a narrow tunnel with walls made of fire. I wasn't moving but the end of the tunnel seemed to close in, the screeching sound scraping my eardrums as the ball of flames reached closer. A single gigantic, fiery eye a few feet away, stared at me, its yellow pupil widening inside the bloodied cornea.

Terrified, I tried to get away, but my legs refused to thaw out and every intent to run was exhausting.

I clawed at the air desperately as an invisible force began pulling my body towards the large eye. I was so close, the burning heat licked my face and lighted it with an orange glare. The screeching was louder than ever, pounding my head with words I could not understand. They sounded hard and sharp, as if the speaker was chanting a very angry, cursed song.

 **'Ash nazg durbatuluk, ash nazg gimbatul,**

 **Ash nazg thrakatuluk, agh burzum-ishi krimpatul.'**

The words repeated over and over again, each time in a higher and more terrified pitch than the first. A sudden, unexplainable terror took over me as I stared into the flaming eyeball burning in front of me Without really thinking about what I was doing, I jerked my body backwards instinctively away from the eye that seemed ready to swallow me whole, with all the strength I could muster.

I fell flat on my face onto the cold, stone floor. The screeching sound had long disappeared, leaving only a weary silence in its place. I sat up and wiped my sweaty forehead with shaky hands. The crystal ball dropped from my hands and rolled away. My entire back was drenched in sweat although I could not seem to stop shivering. Coldness whispered against my bones as I took several deep breaths. I didn't know what had to be done, what I should even be doing. After all, what can you really do when you have seen the gruesome fate of your ending, the inevitable arrival of death to take you away for all eternity?

* * *

I was so preoccupied in my thoughts that even Smaug watching me walk down the stairs of the gold chamber was hardly bothering. His eyes shined brightly and the white glint of his front teeth flashed under the curled, plum lips.

"I know what the great eye has shown you," Smaug said in an amused tone, his mouth now fully arranged into a smirk.

If I said I was surprised by this, I would be lying. The fiery eye I had seen was all too familiar. The same hungry eyes scrutinized my pale face.

"The eye never sleeps. It watches everything at all times," Smaug continued as he waited for my reaction.

I looked up at the reptilian face, strangely the red scales reminding me of stained glass at that moment.

"Will it come true then? Is there nothing left for me?" I asked resignedly, my body feeling tired like I had just run a mile.

"The great eye never lies," Smaug replied in a softer voice.

"So that is it in the end. The end is always death. All I ever wanted was a-" I closed my eyes and took a deep breath in an effort to calm the storm of emotions brewing inside of me "….was a normal life. A happy family to share the warm spring afternoons and quiet autumn evenings with. Was that too selfish of me?"

A quietness that had been hiding before now unfolded around us. Smaug stared at me for a long time with pitiful eyes.

"The great eye never lies," he repeated, looking away from me as he spoke the words.

His certainty angered me for a reason I could not quite pinpoint. The pity in his voice also irritated me, as it reminded me of what I had no power over.

"But I can change it!" I exclaimed, "I can change my fate, I could!"

"To resist means to ask for pain," Smaug said as he tried to wrap his tail around me, but I took a step back determinedly.

"All I must do is finish this story," I argued but Smaug merely shook his head.

"Listen to me, child-"

"I can-"

"ENOUGH!"

Smaug's sudden out roar made the coins rattle under my feet, and the stone ceiling to shake as the echoes bounced across. I stopped short as the hateful yellow eyes bore into my skin.

"Silly girl! When will you learn? Fate can never be unwritten! If it was so easily molded by the dirtied hands of mortals, why would there ever exist despair, disappointment, and heartbreak?" He snapped angrily.

"Were you lying then?" I asked with a scowl, "Did you not mean to keep your word from the beginning?"

"I will keep my promise to you, mortal," Smaug growled bitterly, though the fury was now gone, "just remember to keep your side of the promise as well."

"Fine."

"Good."

Smaug nodded briskly and faced the wall, indicating that I was to be ignored for the rest of the night. That suited me fine. I turned my heel and walked away towards the other side of the chamber, resentment growing inside of me. The coins and crystals chattered noisily as my feet cut through them. I stared around at the wide layers of gold surrounding me. The sparkling yellow stretched on and on, like the ocean that never ended.

* * *

 _ **'Ash nazg durbatuluk, ash nazg gimbatul, Ash nazg thrakatuluk, agh burzum-ishi krimpatul.' Is translated into English as 'One ring to rule them all, one ring to bind them. One ring to bring them all and in the darkness bind them.'**_

 _ **Hello, readers! It's been ages since I last updated, I know. Sorry about that. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed reading this chapter, more is on its way. Thanks~**_


	15. River of Gold

**Chapter XV: River of Gold**

* * *

"A girl from the old  
with hair spun from the smoothest gold.  
She waited patiently under stone,  
living the days she had been condoned,  
hidden from the stars that searched for her above the earth.  
She waited in the place time had forgotten.  
A place where only darkness could reach.

For who she waited, even she did not know,  
for who could still remember where she dwelled below."

I sat right under Smaug's chin as the coldness of the night slowly lifted away sometime during our storytelling session. The air was calm and peaceful, with no trace left of yesterday's angry flames. Smaug also appeared much more relaxed as he breathed out lazy smoke rings from his nostrils. I on the other hand had begun the day with newfound determination that I had transiently lost before. Finishing the story was the only goal I had in my mind now, and I was terrified I would let it slip away again. Feeling revived and well, I continued with confidence in my voice.

"It did not take long  
for the girl to hear the song,  
the tune whistled by the breeze.  
They whispered to her the truth she never knew.  
That all along it was she,  
who held the single key,  
the one and only way to escape out of stone."

The story was finally reaching its end, I could feel it, my nervousness accompanied with cautious excitement and hope. I risked stealing a glance at Smaug who appeared to be asleep, his back rising up and down in rhythm as he breathed out soft swirls of smoke into the air. I could feel the drowsiness creeping closer around us, but its presence was yet to be concerning. Stifling the yawns itching around my mouth, I listened to the deep breaths, wondering if Smaug was sleeping deep enough to be dreaming. _What do dragons dream about anyway?_ I asked myself in curiosity.

"You may continue the rest tomorrow," Smaug answered with his eyes closed, making me start in surprise, as if he was aware of me watching him the entire time.

I could see the balls of his eyes roll left and right under the skin of the closed eyelids. Although hardly surprising, it was still rather unnerving whenever Smaug made such comments, for it felt like he could read my thoughts completely. I nodded, even though Smaug's eyes were still fully closed, and turned to walk away. Just at that moment though, Smaug's tail swam through the coins towards me. I shivered as the slippery scales touched my ankle ever so subtly, like a baby's hand reaching out for the first time.

"Do not go," he ordered and my body disrupted the stack of coins as I turned to face him again, and they tumbled down loudly.

"Storyteller, will you not be as kind as to offer me your company? The night is always friendlier and brighter when one is with a friend."

I thought it to be a strange request then, since until that day my recess sessions outside the gold chamber had been a regular routine embedded between us. It was not that I was annoyed at the change, but rather I was wearier and confused about Smaug's behavior, and his approach towards us as freinds. Nonetheless, I nodded and remained seated in a cross-legged position, my elbows resting on my thighs. I was unafraid, for the air was warm, and the calmness settled around us was still comforting enough to ward off any fears I held about my safety. If the word 'quiet' ever belonged to a woman, she would have been subtle and gentle with the smooth movements of an elf. I said nothing and waited until Smaug spoke first.

"She chose to leave, just like your mermaid," He murmured with his eyes still closed.

"Yes," I answered, assuming he was meaning the character from my tale, "she did, in the end. It was the only way to break free."

"Even after everything, all the secrets I shared with her, after the gifts I showered her with," he continued in a distant voice, ignoring my reply.

"Pardon?" I asked, unable to make sense of what Smaug was saying.

"The warnings, the pleas. It wasn't enough for her," he said in a distant voice.

I suddenly felt completely lost in the maze of Smaug's words. I had never mentioned such details in my story, at least from my memory I did not. Frankly, it was difficult to understand how anyone would have shared secrets with a fire-drake to begin with.

A silent realization dawned on me that we were both talking about two completely different people. Or perhaps, in a strange twist of fate, we were in fact meaning the same, mysterious girl with golden hair.

"She chose to leave. She chose to leave me. She was the one who wrote her own end, not me," Smaug continued in a low voice, "What choice did I have?"

"What do you mean by 'choice'?" I questioned curiously, "who are you talking about, Smaug?"

And then, I saw it. I had never seen a dragon cry before, though it was not tears that were being shed from the orange-glowing eyes. For a dragon did not weep watery tears that could be brushed away carelessly with a stray sleeve.

Smooth, sparkling diamonds dropped out of Smaug's eyes, perfectly formed into shapes of tear ducts. They dropped below where his paws were, rolling away down the mountain of gold and other riches. The same helpless feeling I had felt when I was a child, watching father weep, came over me. Smaug did not seem to notice me as he continued his lament.

"She fled into the darkness. She would rather drown in the blackness and weep in the shadows. Was I such a monster to her? A beast to be feared?" He asked himself more than to me.

 _Darkness...beast..._

The images flashed on and off in my mind, like a lamp with very little oil left to burn. Why did those words stand out so vividly? Where amongst those piles of memories have I heard them used together before?

 _'A fearless beast that wears a crown brighter than gold...A darkness that grew nearer and nearer until it swallowed everything around it.'_

As the words dropped slowly, like heavy anchors in the ocean of my mind, I sensed that I was not the first person to have heard such phrase from the firedrake.

"Heart of a lion..." I whispered to myself in the silence, the words connecting like puzzle pieces inside my head, like the elaborate weave of a spider's web.

Smaug opened his eyes at my soft-spoken words. No more diamonds dropped from his eyes, but there was a sad element that had not been present before in the red pupil. But the soft gaze disappeared almost instantly and was replaced by a shadow that tainted his ember eyes like soot.

"River of gold that never ceased to flow. I would have looked after her, protected her from the thousand hands of cruelty belonging to man," he growled rather bluntly.

A hundred little pricks creeped around the back of my neck. It was the feeling one felt when they had just pulled open a secret about someone which they probably should not have sought after. A mortifying and yet at the same time, a strange, and embarrassing excitement slithered through me. I was just too curious to ignore what I had heard, I could not simply let it go.

"Who was she, Smaug? What happened to her?" I asked, swallowing hard at my own boldness.

Fortunately, Smaug took no offense at my words, although they did seem to place him deeper into his thoughts. When he spoke, his voice was distant and grieving.

"Who was she? Why, she was my _precious_ , my gold. She was my weakness, and she knew it," he answered with shiny eyes.

He lifted his head from the floor and sat up high before continuing, "What happened to her? But you already know the answer to that question, Storyteller. She chose to leave, despite what I did to have her see otherwise."

The final 'leave' caused Smaug's voice to dissolve into a sneer, as if the mere thought of his precious leaving his side betrayed him to his core. With that, the slightest hint of yellow winked in the large, blood-orange eyes. It was not difficult to understand why someone would want to leave a dragon who was so unpredictable, at least from my point of view. But could anyone actually walk away unharmed from a pitfall of fire, I was not so sure.

"Did she really choose to leave?" I asked before fear could stop me from calling out the words, "what exactly did you do to make her stay?"

Smaug looked at me for a long time, his eyes yellow and somewhat bemused.

"What do you think, girl?" He asked and his lips suddenly shifted into an ugly smirk.

It was at this moment that the pitiful and soft emotions for this beast stopped accumulating inside of me. I didn't have to ask further to guess what might have happened. Smaug's shift in response was, by the least, confusing and uncomfortable. It felt like I was conversing with a different dragon in the room instead of the red firedrake I had somewhat become accustomed to the company of. This new dragon was angrier, greedier, and more menacing.

Smaug's eyes glowed an even brighter yellow, growing wide so it reminded me of a creature that had gone half mad. He continued speaking in a ramble without pausing,

"It was _she_ who made the mistake, not me! She thought she could tame the beast, and control the burning wildfire. One should never blame the fire for scolding, and one should never try to put it out."

"That is a terrible thing you did," I whispered, my ears ringing as Smaug let out a mocking laugh.

"You may never live to understand this, simple child," he said as he pushed his burning snout towards where I was sitting, "Try to see from where I stand anyway. She shined brighter than all the jewels put together in this cursed mountain, untainted and perfect. But she wore a heavy coat of naivety, she was convinced the world outside was safe, even charming. She refused to be disillusioned," he spoke as his teeth snapped close to my forehead.

His response cleared very little of the messy thoughts scattered inside my head. It only seemed to open up a new chest of questions and confusion. In hindsight, it was silly of me to overestimate myself and believe I could ever understand a dragon. But then again, everything in hindsight always seems so obvious, even if it was not at the time.

Now that I had heard Smaug's answer to the first question, I had to ask the second one as well. It had been burning inside of me for a long time now, never wielding to die down, no matter how many attempts my heart had taken to stamp out its flames.

"So then why do you even keep me alive? What stops you from taking my life?"

The truth was, I no longer believed it was merely my stories that were interesting to Smaug. Or maybe I knew all along, but it was fear and desire to believe I could be free that covered my eyes away from it, tricking myself that I was right. But now, I had to know the truth.

Smaug said nothing and instead blew a smoke ring towards my direction. It floated over my head and down to my hips before disappearing without a sound.

"You...you said you knew what I saw in the great eye," I pressed on uncertainly, "Please tell me then. That girl...the one who was sitting at the bottom of the stairs...it wasn't me, was it?"

"Smart child, not so simple after all. But then again, you proved that many times over," he answered elusively, evading my question like an eel.

But behind all the slyness and mocking tone, I could see the wariness in Smaug's eyes as the red glow returned slowly, and the way his lips pressed against each other uncomfortably.

"Was that her?...Is because of the girl with hair the river of gold? Is it Dara?" My own lips quivered slightly as I said the name, that had been sitting on my tongue uncertainly for the last few minutes, aloud.

It was strange how all my stray thoughts and answers to the questions I had, pointed towards this one mysterious figure who I knew very little about. I felt like I was treading over still water, every word I said carrying the risk of creating dangerous ripples that could excite Smaug's moodiness and erratic turnings.

But he was calm, like the early morning of Edorath in spring.

"Rest for the night, child. Do not try to seek deeper meaning of your surroundings, for it may come back to haunt you," Smaug said in a low voice and he turned away, as if ashamed.

I took a step closer to the dragon, ready to argue back, but stopped when I noticed a sharp change in my senses. A sweet scent stuck on the walls of my nasal passages. The sweetness was so powerful it was sickly, reminding me of something that was sticky and warm. _The sleep!_ I thought in panic. Over the last few moments in the chamber, I had forgotten about its existence. But it was back, stronger than ever with a drowsiness so terrifying yet irresistible at the same time.

My legs gave away and I felt myself sink to the floor, nauseated. I managed to scramble away cowardly like a mouse, across the gold chamber away from Smaug. The sharp corners of the extravagant brooches and pendants cut my skin painfully as I dragged my body across.

But the invisible fumes were gaining on me too quickly. My thoughts became cloudy and my vision grew out of focus. I do not believe I made it even a third way across the room before falling into a deep sleep.

* * *

 _(Dark shadows swam around in my dreams, similar to the black shapes I had seen in the great eye. They followed me wherever I walked, laughing and jeering in ugly high-pitched voices. They then gathered around to form a large cloak over the golden sky, shielding all its rays and warmth. Another source of light shone brightly. At first, I thought it was a lamp. But when I turned around, I was horrified to see the room burning ablaze. I watched as my dress caught the flames, the red fabric merging with the hot fire, burning my body inside it. I screamed and screamed, but all I could hear were the high-pitched voices, laughing at my pain.)_

My eyes popped open as I jerked awake. ' _It was a dream'_ , I repeated to myself. Nothing more than a silly dream. My throat felt dry and scratchy, and a constant throbbing beat against my left temple. I sat up slowly, massaging the side of my head with my knuckles. I waited until the dizziness passed, and all I was left with was feeling groggy and tired.

A sudden 'whoosh!' from across the room reminded me that I was still very much in the company of Smaug. His breathing was loud and labored. I watched him sleep from where I was, his rising and falling back reminding me of angry volcanoes. He looked different when he was asleep. Perhaps it was the gentle glimmer of the gold stroking Smaug's face, or the peaceful wisps of smoke dancing around the creases of his cheekbones. He somehow looked kinder and more merciful than a dragon should. _Who lives beneath the diamond scales and leather hide?_ I asked silently. _What turned you into the monster you are now?_

I stood up quietly and tiptoed up the stairs leading out of the gold chamber. I stood behind the doorway of the entrance, breathing in and out a couple of times as I waited for the spell to lift completely and be cleansed from my body. The dull thumping in my head eventually lifted and a freshness so strong that I wanted to let out a sigh of relief, returned.

I stared in the direction of the wall with the crevice longingly, but forced myself to move in the opposite direction. The shell necklace bumped against my breast bone as I walked, as if to remind me of what I had lost. I removed the pendant from around my neck and held the white shell in my hands. It felt round and smooth, cooling down the temperature of my skin.

The aching in my chest to see Bard and the desire to return home was greater than ever before. I wanted someone to tell me all was well, that I had not gone mad, and that nightmares were no more than nightmares hiding in my dreams. Above all, I feared losing the memories I had of Bard - the way he blew his fringe when he was frustrated, the scent of the lake as we rode out on Edorath together, and the soft warmth of his body when he held me that day at the wharf.

I let my legs carry the rest of my body down the long corridor and across the empty courtroom. I kept going until at last I arrived in front of the tall door leading into the library. The rusty hinges creaked loudly as I pushed the wooden door open. Once inside, I made my way over to the wooden desk positioned against the wall beside one of the bookshelves. There were small bottles of ink and dried up quills arranged over the dusty surface, just as I had left them.

I wiped away some of the dust with my sleeve before reaching into my pocket and pulling out the folded up note that had been sitting inside. Laid out on the desk, its edges were soft and worn down, more like cloth than real paper. I smoothed out the faint creases before inking in the words I wanted to say onto the paper, just below the message I had written previously. I felt like I was talking to her, that she was beside me and listening.

 _ **'I have learnt many things, some of which I should not have delved so deeply into. But if there is one thing I take away, it is that this mountain is cursed, along with all the gold and its keeper.**_

 _ **He is for sure, unhappy. The gold and jewels cannot penetrate his iron hide and touch the beating heart. And for all the wisdom and age boasted by the last dragon in Middle Earth, he cannot see this truth, even if it will lead to his demise.**_

 _ **Fire burns fire, and all will be lost.'**_

* * *

 **Hello, it's me again :)**

 **I just wanted to say thank you for reading my story and leaving reviews. I enjoy reading them and hearing your opinions!**


	16. Politics of Promises

**Chapter XVI: Politics of Promises**

* * *

 _There comes a moment where each and every one of us eventually realise that we are but a very minuscule, possibly insignificant, part in the world we live in. Most people learn this lesson beyond the prime of their years, after the exhilarating surge of youth races off without them. And then there are some rather unfortunate people in the world who, often through little control of their own, have the truth thrust upon them, impossible to forget._

 _Time doesn't stop when this happens and you continue your everyday routine, often for years before the spool of the time you are given finally runs out. But the world seems grayer, less promising and kind, and you're left with that strange emptiness that feels like hunger, except no amount of food can fill the void._

 _For me, I learnt where my place was, not long after Mama passed away. I knew I wasn't supposed to be at home that afternoon when the men came to visit. Aunt Maude had sent Addy and myself down to the market that morning to run her 'errands'. The list of ingredients she had written for us on a dried scrap of fabric had been particularly long and complicated, my aunt's extra measure to ensure we would not be able to come home for at least a good couple of hours. I guess it was her way of protecting and prolonging us from having to face the inevitable truth. But I have since found that being at the wrong place at the wrong time is a little specialty of mine._

 _We strolled down the bumpy street together, the wicker bag bumping against my thighs rhythmically as we walked. I remember chatting with my cousin excitedly about the fish Bard's father had pulled out from the water the previous day, the one that had been longer than my standing height._

 _No longer than half an hour into the outing we quickly lost focus on the task that had been assigned to us. The initial excitement of holding such an important responsibility as buying the groceries evaporated as soon as our small leather-booted feet arrived at the tail of the marketplace. The aromatic scents danced around together in the air and combined to form a deep, musky smell that stuck between the straw roofs of the stalls that were wedged close to one another. We skipped down the stalls that sold a variety of assortments - fish, dried fruit, animal skins and timber._

 _I must have been separated from Addy at some point, and I found myself alone in the busy market. I wasn't afraid though - Esgaroth was a dreary but far from a sinister place, and I knew my cousin was in no harm. Assuming Addy would return home soon, I too made my way back up the uneven, wet planked path that led to the run-down houses._

 _I made my way up the small steps leading to our house and was surprised to find the front door wide open. My footsteps immediately quietened into a tiptoe as I walked through the doorway softly, carefully maneuvering around the creaky floorboard._

 _Everything about the house seemed the same, except the door into the kitchen which was closed shut. Low voices could be heard from the other side of the house. I stood behind the door in the hallway, afraid of being caught yet much too curious to leave. The door was firmly locked, and I could only gather muffled words that leaked through the crack near the bottom of the wooden plane._

 _"...such a success...shame she did not last long...He has signaled again though. We need the younger girl..." A gruff male voice spoke, no emotion hinted in the slightest._

 _"Please...too young...have pity..." Aunt Maude's muffled voice replied, so different to the male voice - it sounded frightened and pleading._

 _I took a step back from the door, heat rising up to my cheeks. I felt embarrassed all of a sudden, as if I had been caught in my eavesdropping. I didn't want to hear any more of the conversation but there was no way of blocking out the voices that continued to speak, and my legs refused to turn around any further._

 _"He will seek another." The male voice spoke again in the same neutral tone, only this time it sounded slightly harsher, as if the speaker was running out of patience._

 _"I beg you...please...We only ask of a few more years..." Aunt Maude pleaded, her voice strange and strangled._

 _I dared not even swallow as the sound of a chair scraping backwards could be heard from inside. Footsteps paced up and down the room, the sound growing louder and then quietening down rhythmically behind the door._

 _"You must make a choice soon."_

 _The heat radiating down my neck felt unbearable at that point. Finally the feeling in my legs returned, like they had been thawed out of ice. I bolted out of the house again, the front door swinging behind me angrily. I do not believe I made it further than the end of the street before my foot caught the edge of a loose plank. My body flung forwards and I fell face-first onto the ground that was shiny and slippery from the slapping lake. The stinging pain radiating from my scraped knees did not even hold a shadow though, to the strange, twisting sensation gripping the inside of my gut._

 _I understood nothing from the conversation, its content all but a mystery at the time to my young mind. But I think more than anything, I felt like I had been lied to about that tall tale any of us were protected by the people who swore to do so. We were, after all, only as safe as we believed ourselves to be._

* * *

My time spent under the gold chamber grew increasingly unbearable, although the exact days I was forced to breathe and live through, I could not tell. Even the long walks around the fallen kingdom did little to dampen the growing dread inside of me. It was never the cold floor nor the thin air that unnerved me. Those things did not cover even a shade of the parts of my mood and sanity that I imagined to slowly stain grey. What terrified and made me restless was this deep, deep pit of loneliness that seemed to be closing in on me. Loneliness and fear of the great fire-drake that guarded the chamber every night nagged at me without rest, breeding the whisper in my heart that I was unlikely to ever return home.

There were days when I would forget the exact colour of Bard's eyes, or the soft feeling of Addy's hair locks under my fingertips could no longer be re-conjured inside my head. That terrified me, more than the possibility of my death in the mountains - what if I was to forget the people I cared so deeply about? What then? What point would there be to hope for a return home? Perhaps then, it was a blessing within my curse that I had company under this isolated chamber, even if it came in the form of the last dragon in Middle Earth. My stories were not only a source of entertainment for Smaug, but also now the anchor that kept me together and the constant reminder about why I had to keep living.

To relive every hour and day through this tale would be impossible, and the tower of memories I had once stacked over time seems to have fallen in my mind, leaving an untidy mess of fragments and pieces of what were. But here I will still try to recount everything in as much detail as I can manage. And to explain the end of my tale, I must begin at the middle of the one I had gifted Smaug.

The air that day was warm and heavy, as if the breeze had drawn up water from the lake. As always, I sat cross-legged in front of the dragon's long snout, under his ever watchful fiery gaze.

"She glided over the mountains,  
Let her wings stretch free.  
Up into the clouds she soared  
with her hair flowing backwards,  
higher than the winds around her that roared.  
Away from the Lone mountain was where she went.  
Away from her keeper was who she left  
But Alas! She couldn't plug the tears that spilled and she wept  
For that creature with the golden eyes that never slept."

"She should not have left then," Smaug commented once I finished speaking.

I shrugged slightly.

"It was her own choice though," I replied, "and sometimes, that is enough."

I heard Smaug mutter a "strange" under his breath but he did not pursue the matter further. I watched his childish, almost fond behavior curiously.

He was impossible to decipher, every scale riding on his back hiding a new mystery. What I had gathered so far about Smaug though was that he had for sure, not too long ago, undergone some sort of change. It was the way his eyes glistened at the mention of a certain girl with golden hair that made me believe so, although I had only the most fluid of evidence. The thought of his obsession over the girl made my chest squeeze in on itself and shivers to shoot down my back and arms.

"You are thinking about me," Smaug's voice suddenly rumbled inside my head.

I looked up, surprised to see Smaug had not opened his mouth, and was instead staring out in the opposite end of the gold chamber.

"Smaug," I cleared my throat and called out nervously.

The red leathery eyelid snapped in my direction and the yellow fiery pupils stared at my hesitant face.

"Yes, little fletching," he replied softly, "I can hear the chimes of your curiosity whistling in my ear. What is it you wish to know?"

"You cared for a human girl once," I spoke carefully, "You have shown mourning and grief. So why this? Why do you still drag the girls down below the mountain and kill them? Why do you not show them the same kindness as you did for her?"

Smaug looked at me with bright eyes, clearly enlightened by my question. It was a firm reminder of the isolation and loneliness this beast must have felt, with no company under the Lonely Mountain and surrounded only by silent gold that could never match his brilliance.

"To rephrase your question correctly," he spoke lightly, "Is why I choose to be a thirsty monster, to you at least anyway."

I opened my mouth to reassure Smaug I meant no offense, but flicked his tail as a quietening gesture.

"It is natural you should ask, why I mercilessly punish men. The truth you must know, child, is that men are greedy, more than any dragon nor beast to walk this earth. Men are always looking to better themselves, and they stop at nothing to get what they want. Men never blame themselves for anything. They always find another at fault, another to destroy."

"I still do not understand. Are you saying that you've been murdering the girls for sport? Do their fear and terror bring you glee because you hate men?" I pressed on, frowning in frustration as Smaug's eyes dulled from crystals to stone and the careful composure of his face set in to hide any emotion. "I am asking this because I don't believe you are telling the truth."

"And why would you believe that, child? You are, after all, only my Storyteller," Smaug asked smoothly, his eyes grey and blank.

I swallowed hard before replying, "I know you still have mercy on men."

"And what makes you so sure?"

"Nothing. I just know."

I felt defeated by his stubbornness and turned away, disappointed. I could feel Smaug watching me from where he sat, but I chose to ignore him and instead nudged the gold coins with the tip of my toe. A long silence passed between us with only the clanking sound of my foot against the coins decorating the room. Eventually Smaug gave in, his tail coiling around my hips and drawing me closer. He said nothing until I was forced to make eye contact with the large pupils that had returned to its orange glow.

"Men deserve pain and loss," was all he said in the end, as if that explained everything.

"What did they take away from you?" I asked solemnly.

Smaug turned his face away from me, hiding his eyes within the shadow. I could not tell from where I stood, what fire brewed inside those pupils or what storm had taken over his face. Smaug refused to make eye contact with me, but he replied in a deep and suddenly angry voice.

"Men took away everything from me."

It answered everything and nothing, I wanted to know more and seek the truth, but now the tiredness had crept back in, and my thoughts grew hazy and detached. I closed my eyes as Smaug rocked my weary body to sleep.

I passed through layers of dreams and feigned reality over and over again that night, so much so that I could not remember any particular happening from them. But from this blur, my mind had stilled, letting my jumbled thoughts finally fit into place.

 _Before Dara, the village offerings and killings seemed to have been for no more than his sick-minded amusement. They were activities designed for the sole purpose of exercising a dragon's boredom. But after Dara, all the girls who arrived to his gold chamber thereafter seemed to be slain for a different fault. It was almost as if Smaug was searching for something. Searching for her. It was as if he was trying to discover a glimpse of her looks, or a whisper of her voice, within the girls who had been sent down to his chamber. And when he could not find what he was seeking, he killed the girls to smother his own loss, and he ripped through their skin to forget that painful feeling of loneliness that ate through his own body. The rage would build up inside him when he saw the girls for who they were and not as his jewel, and there was no room in the gold chamber for lost, worthless stones._

 _He loved a girl named Dara._

 _He loved her so much, he would rather kill her than see her walk away._

 _If he couldn't have her, nobody could._

 _That kind of selfishness was both terrifying and pitiful to witness._

 _He was dressed in so many garments, it was difficult to tell which colour was his true skin. Rage and beauty burned through him equally, a frightening duet of evil and good. Through Dara I had learned so many more truths about our mysterious dragon, but such discoveries only seemed to unearth even more questions that begged to be answered._

 _And deep down, I feared I would die before understanding any of it._

* * *

I woke up to the unmistakable sound of rocks crashing into one another. Broken stone pieces rolled down the hills of gold and stopped in front of my arms that had been nesting my head. I sat up, jolted from my sleep, and stared towards the direction which the rocks had rolled down from, and I let out a gasp.

"What are you doing?!" I half yelled and cried at the same time.

Smaug was standing under the opening of the tunnel where I had once slid down from, only there was no longer an entry. Large boulders as wide as twice my body put together had been placed tightly against the tunnel like a plug.

Despair flooded through me as I stared at the blocked pathway. It was not as if I wasn't already trapped in the gold chamber, but seeing the entrance closed off in such a manner made my heart drop and panic to come over me.

"Why did you do that?" I continued to shout as angry tears stung my eyes, "Now I have no source of food, or fresh air for that matter. Why are you trying to torture me? Have I done so much wrong to deserve it?"

"Torture you?" Smaug merely hooted, sarcasm dripping from his voice, "oh, the thought of it tickles me, really."

He blew a smoke ring over my face, catching the words of retort sitting on my throat before I could say them aloud, making me cough instead. The muscles under Smaug's eyelids slackened slightly, as if he was immensely bored and bemused of my outburst.

"How is it that you always remind me of the limit of your understanding for anything that goes beyond the simple minds of mortals?" He retorted in exasperation, "Have you honestly noticed nothing all this time?"

"What are you talking about?" I asked in frustration, "Should I have been paying more attention?"

"Perhaps," Smaug answered, ignoring my sarcasm, "if you had been _paying more attention_ to yourself instead of the past and everything that has already been, you would have noticed how irrelevant time has become for you."

His words stopped my train of thought short. I knew, in my head at least, that the concept of time worked very differently for an age old dragon. But never did I once stop to think its effect on me had changed since I had entered the mountain. Time was like the air, the great lake - it was always present whether or not you noticed its existence every single moment.

"Do you feel hunger? Or thirst for water?" Smaug pressed on, his eyes shining brightly under the dimmed light around us.

"No, I haven't," I answered uncomfortably, "it makes no sense. How am I not dead, or at least severely ill?"

I had not even realised how long I had made it without thinking about the food parcel Bard had been sending me down the tunnel. Thinking back properly, it felt like days had passed, though I had no way of being certain. It was as if the normal, human responses like hunger was being slowly weaned off of me.

"Time is a luxury wasted only by mortals, and the naive," Smaug muttered off into a tangent, his attention removed from me, "It has no place in my kingdom".

"But..." My voice faltered as the yellow balls of fire flashed in my direction.

"But what, child? Speak up!" He snapped, annoyed at my hesitation.

"What about the next girl?"

A small silence echoed through the walls. Smaug continued to stare at me, his yellow eyes dulling to an orange-red.

"Sweet child with hair spun from gold, you still do not get it," he said softly, "There will be no more girls. There is no need for that.

I have found my gold, and this time she is not going to leave."

* * *

 _ **Hello, it has been ages I know, and I apologise for that.**_

 _ **It's been a little crazy for me lately and I haven't had a lot of time to write. I will be honest and admit I'm not sure when the next chapter will be uploaded, it could be in a couple of weeks or even a couple of months.**_

 _ **But I will promise that I will finish this story. Thank you to my readers who haven't lost interest yet. It's for you guys I keep going~~**_


	17. Raging Red Mountain

**Chapter XVII: Raging Red Mountain**

* * *

"I have found my gold. And this time, she is not going to leave."

I felt like I had been slapped multiple times as Smaug's words rang inside my mind. I was no longer sure of anything anymore other than the certainty that I would grow mad if I did not leave this cursed mountain soon. Instinctively, I began to take a few steps away from Smaug who seemed to have grown even larger in physical size within this short time span. His eyes also grew wider and brighter, until they were a shade of white and silver like the full moon that sat on the lake every month.

' _Idiot!_ ' I thought to myself, _'You placed your trust in a dragon and now he thinks you are his property to keep!_ '

I wanted to stay brave but already my knees started shaking and buckled in fear, and sweat made the palms of my hands turn sticky.

"I am not your gold," I tried to remind the great dragon but was unable to stop my voice from trembling, "I am not yours."

"And yet here you are, my child," Smaug spoke, seemingly delighted at my hopelessness, "After all, if you cannot leave my treasure chest, then are you not my jewel?"

I said nothing but took another step backwards defiantly when Smaug tried to bring me in towards him with his long tail. His eyes cracked with lightning in surprise and anger but now there was now something else leaking out of the reptilian pupils, like water overflowing out of a bucket that had been filled long ago. A look of madness had taken over completely, painting his face as one that was restless and dangerously impatient. I expected Smaug to explode in any moment, but he surprisingly maintained his composure and instead licked his dark lips hungrily as he stared down at me. I bit the inside of my cheeks nervously as the forked end of Smaug's tongue flicked in and out of his mouth.

"If you are not my jewel, then what are you?" He questioned me like an adult would to a child who needed to be chided.

The air around us seemed to have thinned to almost nothing. I felt like I was treading on ice that would crack under the weakest pressure.

"I am but your Storyteller," I answered hesitantly after a long pause, "The only thing I can offer you is my story. So please, let me finish the tale and be gone from this cell you have built around me."

Smaug looked at me silently with bright, yellow eyes. Saliva dried away from my lips and I couldn't tell whether or not he still remembered his promise to me.

"You promised me my freedom," I reminded him firmly but my heart drummed wildly inside my chest, "If you honor our agreement, you will not keep me here forever. My story is nearly finished, and after that, I will be able to leave."

"Yes," Smaug finally spoke, "for the bonds of a promise made between two bodies should never be severed. To sever one's words are equal to dividing his own integrity."

"So I beg of you to not do this," I pleaded, "do not demand from me something I cannot gift. I am not _her_."

A silence followed after I said 'her'. Smaug said nothing as he glided effortlessly through the sea of gold and jewels, his scales reflecting off their light strikingly. I stood where I was as coins flew over my head in harmony to Smaug's movements.

"Answer this question, my storyteller. If you leave, will you be happy?" Smaug asked as he took a different direction in my interrogation.

His enormous body slithered in and out of view with unexpected grace given his size, concealing his face behind the tall stone pillars standing around the gold chamber. I said nothing but he ignored my lack of response and continued speaking.

"Will you feel fulfilled after you have lived through the years that have dragged your weary body and ageing mind? Or will you convince your soul that to live safely is the purpose of your existence and to live like everyone else is what will give you true joy?"

His words echoed through the gold chamber, and also inside my head. I stood dazed, the anger I had felt moments before peeling away like dead skin. And now that the anger and isolation had left my body, I felt nothing but hollowness like a wooden doll.

 _'What is the point in fighting back?_ ' My own doubtful voice whispered in my mind. _'He has a point. You will indeed grow old and when you finally lay to rest, the world will simply forget you. We are all just passing through life to reach death in the end, are we not?_ '

Sensing my doubt, Smaug stroked my chin with the tip of his tail. In my head I knew he was tricking me, trying to confuse me into believing a dragon's words could be trusted. But I couldn't stop the thirst in my heart that lapped up the soothing words that slipped through Smaug's tongue.

"You are much too smart for those simple minds down in the man village. Foul, gluttonous men who hesitated no less than a second before deciding to sell you away. Their thoughts and opinions are slack, they are nothing against your imagination and flare for life. And believe me child, no one sees this clearer than I," he spoke in an almost melodious voice.

I am embarrassed to admit to this now, but at the time, even his words of feigned concern were comforting. Despite his madness and greed, he understood me best, and knew exactly what I thought my heart desired. And to feel understood meant I remained blind to the serpent coiled up behind the diamond, ready to pounce.

"I know what you want, child. And you know only I can give what your heart screams to possess," Smaug continued in a voice that was as sweet and sticky as honey, "I can grant you the key of immortality. Here, the shackles of time cannot bind you. I know what you desire, I see it in my mind as clear as crystals. You could craft your stories undisturbed, and together we can explore the worlds within Middle Earth buried under lost memories."

"...the worlds within..." I repeated in a whisper longingly.

"We can go together," Smaug pulled me in with his long tail, its tip stroking my back teasingly, "you will _never_ have to be under the mercy of man's greed again."

For a moment, his spell worked. My mind seemed bewitched, incapable of thinking anything more than about how nice it would be to fly free from all my troubles, and how wondrous it would be to see mermaids and lions that roamed in a different part of Middle Earth. My eyelids grew heavy and the air turned thick like syrup for the hundredth time.

But then the small, shell pendant hanging around my neck knocked against my chest gently. It was subtle but firm enough to snap my senses awake. I blinked a couple of times, my eyes clouded in an invisible fog. They cleared after a moment, and I was once again staring into the endless, fiery depths of a dragon's pupil.

It was as if I was for the first time, truly looking into Smaug's deep orange eyes and the red pupils that seemed to swirl around the center. I realized then that the air itself never turned sweet nor was there any black magic at play that caused me to fall in such as bewitched sleep. It was the works of the glare of the dragon - they dug under my skin and dyed my blood to a shade of ebony. I could hide no secrets from him, and Smaug knew that from the day he lay those eyes on me.

"I will never be truly happy here," I heard my own voice speak quietly but determinedly "I have to return home. That is where I belong."

"Even if everyone has forgotten you?" Smaug pressed, his eyes glazed in yellow as he stroked my neck with the end of his paw, "Do you still belong with men, even after your existence has been reduced to no more than the passing lark through the village, or a breeze that came and went?"

"He has not forgotten me," I blurted out before I could stop myself.

I caught my breath from letting out a gasp at the horror of my mistake.

"Has he, now?" Smaug's lips curled into a smirk and his eyes suddenly flashed brightly, both furious and excited to have caught me out.

I bit the back of my lip hard and gripped my knuckles tight until the blood drained out of them. Smaug loomed over me, his eyes flashing yellow like lightning.

"And how are you so sure he has not forgotten you, girl?" He sneered, "Are you finally ready to confess?"

Sensing my life was in imminent threat, I tried to move but Smaug's tail had more than a strong grip on my hips. His muscles squeezed in tighter as I struggled to escape. I panted as his muscles squeezed all the air out of my body. I stared into the dragon's eyes which had changed color to a frightening shade of white.

"Men...so short-sighted and drenched in self-love. Never thinking of their own faults," he mused to himself, although his eyes remained glued to my pale face, "Before you question _my_ honesty and goodness, let me ask you, mortal. Have you kept your own words pure and true?"

"How long have you known?" I asked in a thick voice, feeling sick with dread in the stomach.

"I can see everything, child. I can see everything you try to hide, even the lies you tricked your heart into believing. Especially _that boy_ you continued to make contact with even after I told you not to," Smaug growled as I stared up at his face, wide eyed and scared.

"I-" I started but was roughly cut off by Smaug who whipped his wings against the air, knocking my face with the sudden gust it produced.

"You naive, little girl!" He snapped his white teeth inches from my face.

Smaug loomed over my head, casting an angry shadow around us. I looked away, afraid of what else those yellow eyes would pull out of me.

"Why did you do it?" Smaug continued to hiss, his claw pressing on my chest so I couldn't move at all, "Why did you lie to me?"

"Are you going to kill me now?" I asked resignedly through gritted teeth, my voice coming out as a fearful whisper.

Smaug loosened his grip on my hips slightly but he still held on tight.

"We shall see, child," he hissed, danger dropping from his voice like metal, "we shall see."

With that, he released his scaly hold on me. I dropped to the ground, the coins clanking noisily as my body rolled over them roughly. I backed away on my elbows, not caring if the coins pierced my skin, until my back touched the stone pillar.

"A final question for you to answer," Smaug spoke, his voice all of a sudden light and playful, although his eyes were yellow and bright, "It should not be too difficult for your diminished intellect. You are my Storyteller. You are the weaver of words and messengers of unsung lyrics. So then my question to you is, what am I to you, child?"

There was a short silence as I thought of what to say in response. I had no clue as to what words would calm Smaug down nor what phrases would please him, and knowing he would definitely see through my lie, I could only be honest in my answer.

"You are the candle melting away the wax. You are the night that encompasses a thousand stars in his eyes. But you are also the flames that steal the life of the trees that once stood in the Great Forest, and you are the darkness that swallowed the sunlight. You are the waves that break stones from cliffs guarding the sea. To me, you will always be fire, and if you choose to keep me imprisoned, you can only ever be death."

"Death," Smaug sneered back mockingly, "If you understand nothing more, then you are but a fool, just like the rest of them."

With that, the mighty beast breathed in deeply. Everything slowed down as I saw Smaug's thorax move in then out, his eyes snapped open white and shiny like metal. The scales riding down his belly grew orange and as the first wave of heat hit my face did I realize I could no longer stay in the gold chamber with a dragon.

"Help!" I heard myself yell as I scrambled around to flee from the rope of fire that whipped out from Smaug's mouth.

The coins beneath my feet glowed ember and flames licked the stone walls angrily, I could feel the melting heat on the soles of my boots. Instinctively, I began running towards the stone staircase, my feet kicking through metal and crystal. Dragon-fire roared around me between the tall pillars as Smaug vented his anger and hatred towards men and my betrayal of his trust. The bone-scraping screech that echoed out of his mouth made my skin crawl like a thousand spiders were climbing down my spine, and I wanted so much to just drop to the ground and cover my ears to stop me from going insane. But I knew that to stop would mean instant death, so I continued to run, tumbling and tripping against objects that would have been regarded as treasure to many living beings on Middle Earth.

I did not dare to look back once as I bounded up the steep steps, partly in fear of being consumed by the raging fire but mostly because I was terrified of what deceit and temptation Smaug's yellow eyes would use to stain my mind.

"You are a foolish, stupid girl'" I could hear Smaug boom behind me as I rushed out of the gold chamber, "I gave you a chance to stay with me in my kingdom as my own! You could have had wealth, undying knowledge and immortality! Now, there is nothing left for you but a thousand fires to burn in!"

I ran down the long hallway past the place full of mirrors, leading into the main courtroom. I barely had time to catch my breath before the ground-shaking thumps grew louder and louder and once again Smaug's menacing yellow eyes came into view.

"Did you think I would not notice? The way you snuck around my kingdom, the way you stole my treasure and gave it to that boy!" He hissed as he glared down at me and pinned me to the ground with his front paw before I could get away.

I felt my body getting crushed under the weight before being lifted off the ground as Smaug brought me closer to his face.

"Please," I whispered, tears spilling out of my eyes.

"I killed those other stupid girls before you. I burnt their hair and melted their flesh. I chewed on their bones. I cleansed them of their insolence and ignorance! And the same fate is what awaits you!" Smaug growled, his eyes yellow and insane.

He brought me in even closer, my face illuminating from the yellow light radiating out of his eyes. We were so close I could reach out and touch Smaug's snout with my arm if I stretched far enough. My heartbeat quickened as I got an idea – but I had to wait for the right time.

"Do you love him, girl? Do you really think he still remembers you?" Smaug asked, unaware of my scheming.

' _Now!_ ' I yelled silently in my head.

Wasting no time, I swung my lower body upwards and kicked Smaug right in the middle of his eye with both my legs. Smaug dropped me as his eyes flashed silver in fury. I rolled sideways and slipped beneath his claws before scrambling on my feet and running away through the nearest archway. I had no idea where I was going as I ran through room after room, the ear-ripping dragon screeches never far behind. Finally I wounded up in the old library and I continued to rush down the long spiraling staircase. I reached the bottom of the stairs and entered the small basement before slamming the wooden door behind me closed. As I waited for my body to remember how to breathe again, I realized I had seen the room before in that strange crystal ball I found while wandering around Erebor. The vision was exactly how I was at that moment - crouched at the bottom of the stairway as fire raged above me.

' _If all was true to now, then my fate cannot be unwritten_ ,' I thought to myself in despair.

My legs grew slack and tired as my mind resigned to the end of my life, and slowly the fear began draining out of me. Even as the stomps grew louder and Smaug drew nearer, I made no effort to move, and instead I buried my face into my hands and waited. At last he arrived, standing no further away than the top of the stairway, although I could not see his face behind the curved wall.

"You cannot hide," I heard him say in a smug voice, "I hear your heartbeat. I can smell your scent. You always smelt good."

I could hear him behind the door, approaching closer and closer like the booming drum that sent me away that lifetime ago on the wharf. I didn't think about the pain of being burned alive. Even the thought of Bard, father and Addy did not cross my mind. At that moment, all I could remember was that silly game I used to play as a child with Addy and the other village children. We would skip around in a large circle, holding hands, as one girl twirled continuously in the middle. There was a chant we would repeat over and over again, a childhood song passed down for generations. None of were aware nor bothered at the time about the meaning behind those words that danced so carelessly out of our mouths.

" _ **Gather around, gather around,  
**_ _ **As the birds fall to the ground.  
**_ _ **Clap your hands and stamp your foot,  
**_ _ **And watch the roof burn down to soot.  
**_ _ **Twirl your toes and your fingers,  
**_ _ **Listen to the howl that lingers.**_ "

Smoke slithered through the gaps and cracks in the walls around the room. Soon my ankles were buried in a sea of grey and white swirls that were rapidly floating towards my head. They hissed all around me, making my eyes blind and watery and my lungs to constrict desperately for fresh air. I clutched my throat in sudden, burning thirst, and doubled forwards as my chest heaved out violent coughs. I could feel the fight leaving me as my vision grew hazy and my mind went blank.

' _So this is death,_ ' I thought to myself as I felt my body slid to the ground sleepily.

It felt not to so bad though, like the moment where you are just about to fall asleep when everything around you quietens like the still morning of the lake. I closed my eyes as smoke settled around my arms, legs, chest and face. The only thing I could do now was pray I would fall asleep before the pain of death arrived to consume me.

" _ **And when he comes out from the forest of trees  
**_ _ **To dance with you and me.  
**_ _ **If you are still standing free,  
**_ _ **Then turn around and flee.**_ "

* * *

 **Hello, readers! It feels good to finally update after so long. I hope this chapter did not feel so rushed with the plot line. I felt bad about not updating for so long so wanted to upload a longer chapter :)**

 **Let me know in the reviews how this chapter reads, and in case I don't update sooner, happy holidays~**


	18. The Boy, the Mermaid, and the Firedrake

**Chapter XVIII: The Boy, the Mermaid, and the Firedrake from the North**

* * *

When I open my eyes, I am standing alone at the wharf. It is early morning, not long after dawn. All the villagers are still fast asleep, yet to battle another days full of life with the joy and burden it brings. For now at least, I am alone - all by myself. The silence brings small details to my attention. I find myself wondering how still the lake appears when it sleeps, how not a single wave nor ripple breaks through the slippery, glass film. Its surface reminds me of silk, smooth and cold as its fabric glides over the skin. No breeze blows my way, it is as if time has forgotten this little part of my world, leaving me both completely free from and trapped in its shackles.

Just as the feeling of peace is about to leave and loneliness take its place, I see a body move in the distance. It is standing at the centre of the lake, its leathery paws balanced ever so lightly on the surface of the water. With golden fur magnificently glowing and a mane radiating its own undying light, there stands a Lion forged form the gold provided by the Sun itself. It is King of the lake, Master of air, and Wielder of time. A beast not from the part of Middle Earth where mortals depend on to exist. I can do nothing but watch in utter transfixion as the creature glides across the black water towards me.

My mind is blank but my body remembers modesty and I feel my head slowly drop down to a bow as the Lion approaches closer towards me. It stops in front of me and when I lift up my head, my eyes lock with the two stunning emerald gems staring straight through my face. Its gaze is mesmerising, stirring a confusing sensation of welcoming isolation inside of me, and suddenly I am not sure whether to laugh out in delight or cry in terror. But then the lake begins to part in the middle, and the wharf melts from view as my mind drifts away.

My body is not moving but everything surrounding me sprints away until all at once I land with a 'clap' back to my little house beside Edorath. Through the open window on the second floor of the house I make out a soft-faced woman with the longest and fairest blonde hair, streaming down her shoulders into smooth ripples. Her body is swaying back and forth as she dances gently around the room, moving in and out of my view. She is humming a tune with no lyrics and I can hear the softness of her voice billowing out onto the calm waters of the empty lake. It is a voice to be envied even by the mysterious mermaids, hitting the right notes so effortlessly. I can feel my chest ache not in sadness but because I realise I have missed listening to that voice for so long.

I turn the knob of the front door and finding it unlocked, turn it open and walk through the doorway. Everything is as how I remember it when I left. The walls are smudged with the rain and dirt carried in with the heavy coats. Father's rocking chair stands without its owner at the edge of the hallway. There seems to be nobody else in the house, except the woman with golden hair dancing on the floor above. I walk up the stairs quietly, careful to avoid the creaky part of the wooden boards, and enter the living room.

My mother is beautiful with flawless skin and steps as light as a doe. The sparkle in her green eyes let me know that she is happy and the demons that stole her life had not yet hunted her down. I want to keep my mother that way, like a moment in a painting, a stich in the tapestry of my memory. My mother stops dancing and bends over a cot standing beside her. It is only then that I notice the baby sleeping peacefully inside of it. A warm feeling rises above my ears and I have to swallow hard as the baby with a tuft of golden feather-like hair yawns, causing my mother to smile and coo comfortingly. 'She was happy to have me', I hear my own voice inside my head rejoice. 'I was loved'.

And then as quickly as the scene appeared before, the room begins stretching and my mother moves further away from my outstretched hands. My legs are lifted off the ground and I grasp the air helplessly as I am once again carried away. I am lighter than leaves and petals, no heavier than the feather of a gull caught by the ripple of the wind. I let the invisible hands carry me across the lake, over the barges and fishermen nodding off on their wooden stools. From above, they appear as small as the acorns that dropped over the valley last fall.

Finally the breeze weakens and my toes sink softly to the moist soil that is littered with pine leaves. I am standing at a clearing full of magnificently aged trees surrounding me in all sides. Their trunks are thicker than the width of my body if my arms were stretched as far wide out as possible, their branches entwined with one another like desperate lovers. Their leaves are vibrant with life, green as grapes that have yet to ripen. In the far distance below, I can see Esgaroth and the body of water separating the city and the forest.

The birds chirp in the trees above my head, their tunes loud and carefree. I tilt my head back trying to listen better, when I hear footsteps walking towards my direction. I open my eyes and see, from within the groups of trees, a boy emerge. His hair is brown as the tree branches but his eyes are a twinkling grey like the smoothest pebble washed up from the lake. My heart quickens as he looks straight at me, as if I am no longer invisible. He smiles and I cannot help but smile back as Bard's eyes crinkle with mischievous joy.

Bard opens his mouth to say something, but I cannot hear anything and I realise the world around me has suddenly grown silent. It is as if to remind us that our worlds are not the same. Nevertheless, I try to read the gaping of Bard's mouth as he motions silent words over and over again. He is no longer smiling and there is a look of urgency and desperation as he continues to yell out words I cannot hear. I feel by body floating upwards again and I look down to see my legs fading away like dust. I try to focus harder at Bard's face but already the grey eyes are growing dimmer and once more my darkness finds me.

* * *

I woke up tired, the stiffness in my joints poking my nerves stubbornly. It was as if time truly had stood still and I was the only one alive in a world that was completely asleep. Smaug was gazing down at me, the light from his eyes illuminating my face orange and whispers of soft rose-red. I was not afraid, but wearier of his anger towards me before I had passed out earlier. Yet the orange glow in his eyes were nothing more than sad and regretful.

"Am I dead?" I asked aloud bluntly in a croaky voice due to my throat having been removed from the mortal world along with the rest of my body for so long.

The ground rumbled against my spine as Smaug chuckled deeply, but his eyes remained stained with a look of calm defeat.

"You have slept for many suns and moons, my foolish, sweet child," he replied softly, his snout so close to my face I felt the warmth of his breath on my forehead.

I sat up slowly, the room spinning slightly due to not having moved my body for so long. I looked into the orange orbs staring down at me from above.

"Why did you not just kill me and be done with it all?" I asked in dismay and confusion, "I broke my promise."

Smaug said nothing at my words and merely cocked his head to one side like a gull on the lake, curious at his own reflection staring back at him from the waters.

"Every warning and all my threats," he spoke to himself in a low voice after a long pause, although his pained eyes searched my face for answers, "and yet you chose them. Men, they sent you away but you still care for them."

His words brought back the previous events into my mind and my head began to throb slightly as the memories returned like water trickling down slippery ice. I remembered the twisting tension in my gut, the fragments of gold being flung across the gold chamber, and roaring, raging fire and smoke.

"Why did you do it?" Smaug continued to press me with his questions, "Why risk your own life for them? _For him?_ "

I knew the answer deep down in my heart from the very beginning, even during those times my mind temporarily lost its way within the thick smoke. My reason for defying a beast a thousand times my size was the same as that we use to justify most problems we find ourselves falling into during our lifetimes.

"I am in love," I said quietly, "I am in love with my best friend. I am in love with calm, warming sunrises. The elaborate, thick tapestries, and stories that visit us when we dream. I have given my heart to it all. I am in love with life, and somehow that makes all the risks worth everything."

"You loved him," Smaug repeated after me, his voice low and wistful, as if I, and not he, held the most desired jewels in Middle Earth, "You still do."

I looked properly into Smaug's eyes which were orange and moist so that his pupils almost glittered against the gold surrounding us.

"Yes," I replied with more certainty in my voice than ever. It surprised me how long it had taken for my mind to finally listen to the calling inside my heart, "from the beginning, I always have."

Smaug locked his gaze on my face, searching for the answer to a question he had only asked himself till now. The embers of his eyes warmed the tip of my nose as the auburn light danced in front of my face.

"Am I not worthy of it?" He asked aloud, breaking the silence at last. "Am I not permitted to know love?"

"Oh Smaug," I whispered as tears welled up in my eyes, "is this what has pained you for so long?"

It was both endearing and aching to hear this fearless warrior ask a question I thought only plagued us mortals. I felt my legs lift my body up and I walked over towards the pained dragon. I placed my hand over Smaug's scale first before touching his snout with my forehead. The warmth from the fire in his blood kissed my cold cheeks. The feeling in my heart I remember from that day was only forgiveness and mercy.

"But don't you see?" I asked softly, "My pitiful, grievous creature. You know love - you have felt it before. Love is the tingling you felt on your skin when she stood beside you. It is the way your heart swelled like it was going to burst when she called out your name. You feel love everywhere, and it is not through the shining stones in this chamber. That emptiness we feel when they, against our will, leave us, a hollowness that remains forever unfilled in the corner of our heart. That is what love feels like. And it doesn't matter who you are - love is love."

For a long time Smaug said nothing. The only movement I felt was the steady beating of his iron scales buzzing softly against my flesh. Suddenly, with one graceful move, Smaug stooped down towards my head. His jaw was so close to mine I could feel the tingling of his leather lips on the tip of my scalp, sending vibrations down my spine. Finally he spoke,

"Men are both gifted and cursed with the knowledge of love."

I laughed half-heartily, even though tears unexpectedly pricked my eyes and the tip of my nose stung with confusing emotions at his words. Once again he had surprised me with his subtle observation of the unavoidable condition of Men.

"We are all thirsty for love. We would drink it even if it could poison our hearts and break our bodies," I replied softly.

Smaug's eyes glistened and I felt a sprinkle of diamonds shower over my head.

"Finish your story, Storyteller. Let me hear the end of it," he requested after a pause.

This time, I did not resist the scaly tail as it curved around my hips one final time. His hold was gentle, careful and even weary. I felt the warmth spread from my chest right down to my fingertips, and something deep inside of me knew that this was the end and Smaug spoke truth. So I locked my eyes with those orange, glistening crystals, as if it was to be the last time I would share comfort with an age-old dragon. Whatever was to happen next, I was not afraid, not one bit.

Softly I spoke, for the room was so quiet I barely had to speak above a whisper,

"He howled against the mountains,  
his cries could be heard from the village inns.  
So distressed he was  
he could not see,  
her heart was never offered for free."

I could not predict how Smaug would react once the words inside my head dried up and the final thread of the tale was woven into place. And somehow, I was content with that thought. It is peculiar I know, to be so receptive of the possibility of there being nothing for me at the end. Whether it was exhaustion or an insane and completely irrational bravery bursting out of me, I will never know. But what I do remember is that I was not afraid anymore, not in the slightest. The raw feeling I could grasp however, was a sense of mourning that I may never leave the mountain again.

"But alas she had already flown home  
and he was once again left alone.  
Alone with all his treacherous gold.  
Alone with stones that never grew old.  
Just as he was about to let go,  
he heard her whisper a hum of hope.  
So he left his hoard of broken treasures  
in search of his precious little creature.  
He glided above the still sleeping clouds.  
Down he swooped towards the fearful crowd.  
There he released his rage to ignite."

I felt a surge of warmth travel to my flesh as Smaug's body heated up with emotion at my words. My thighs were now almost completely buried under tear shaped diamonds no larger than the nail of my thumb, as the twinkling crystals continued to roll down from his glistening eyes. My own cheeks were wet with tears but I did not stop talking, for now the words were swelled up inside of me, needing to be let out.

"She tried to flee, but the fire was faster, sneakier and cruel.  
As the flames caught her talons  
and her wings flashed ruby red,  
Her walls melted away,  
the ashes stained over dead water where her body lay."

' _I know now that dragons have souls. Or at least, I am certain that the firedrake from the North, the beast from under the Lonely Mountain, did. No matter how old and tainted it was, there was a heart beneath those iron scales. And it would be my greatest lie if I was to say that such truth did not give me comfort. We are all evil and good, loved and broken, and what makes us mortal is much more than the chains of death and life. I think Smaug spent so long alone convincing himself he was different, that he was somehow immune to feeling anything remotely human. But even looking back now, I know his heart beat hard, and with every pump it breathed life into a lost, lonely soul. No bedtime story nor tale will ever admit it, but this dragon had a soul - and I had seen it._ '

"A moment too late did he finally understand,  
a second too slow did rain cover the land.  
She was his mountain, his river, his gold.  
She was the brave, the purest and bold.  
And a caged lark will never sing,  
trapped is she who cannot spread her wings.  
She cannot sing of mermaids and shells,  
of boys and arrows and dragons from hell.  
And so she fell asleep in his arms,  
her burnt corpse never to dance again under the stars."

' _My memory fades from this part of the tale, not because it has been so long, but I think because Smaug wanted me to forget what he did for me. He wanted me to remember him as a dragon from tales passed through the ages - bold and dangerous. To the very end, showing mercy was a sign of weakness in his eyes. But, I like to believe he gifted me one final dream – a sign of his mercy on my future. I saw the endless, beautiful lake, and a handsome, tall man fixing up a bow and arrow for a little girl with dark brown curls just like him. I felt the sunshine on my face and the breeze through my hair. The light around me grew brighter and brighter, until I saw nothing but white. I remember asking myself what good was it to try distinguish between reality and dream when my soul was so at peace. I was happy, and there was calm. I only wish I had known earlier that what Smaug had shown me was not a glimpse of what could be, but of what was to come_.'

* * *

My ears were the first parts of my body to wake up from the second sleep. They tickled awake as a rumble that reminded me of drums echoed around me. But then the sound died away and was replaced by the _pitter patter_ of pins hitting the ground. I had not heard such a sound in a long time, especially within the gold chamber. I felt drops of cold, liquid wet my nose. My eyes cracked open as the water trickled down the sides of my cheek. I thought I had died when my eyes captured the grey sky above. I dug my fingers into the ground as they sank deep into moist, warm soil.

The rain fell so heavy it stung my skin but even the thunderous of storms couldn't dampen the relief, disbelief and joy that welled up inside of me. For a long time, I couldn't believe it, and I lay there on the ground, blinking blankly into the high sky.

He had kept his promise.

He had released me.

I was free.

* * *

 _ **Why, hello there *shameful face***_

 _ **I really am sorry for not updating in what seems like a hundred years;;; It seems as though life and all its glorious shenanigans have finally caught up with me. But we are nearly there and I just wanted to say thank you for not abandoning this story!**_

 _ **I will finish this story, that is my promise *hugs and kisses***_


	19. The Girl Who Returned From Her Grave

**Chapter XIX: The Girl Who Returned From Her Grave**

* * *

' _He set fire to the world around him, but never let a flame touch her.' - Anonymous_

The rain beat down on the mountains, and thunder rolled across the clouds as if the sky itself was howling. I had never felt more grateful for being able to feel the rain penetrate the sleeves of my dress and the wind that pulled roughly at my hair. The raging sky had never appeared more beautiful and full of life than it did now in my eyes.

I lay there on the wet, muddy ground, elated and unsure of what to do with the freedom that had been returned to me once more.

 _But where was I to go?_

Now that the question had been asked I sat up on my elbows, allowing the spray of rain to beat down on my unshielded face. The aqueous stings felt like small fingers poking me for the answers I did not have. At the time I could not understand why, but the thought of returning to Esgaroth, the place I had called home for my entire life, suddenly felt strange and daunting.

As if to disapprove of my reluctance, the wind let out a long, sorrowful howl and the mountain seemed to grow taller as snow cloaked over its head. But the witchcraft had not yet left my blood and my bare skin was yet to be affected by the cold. Nonetheless, I forced my legs to stand up and walk away from the foot of the Lonely Mountain.

'Am I truly free?' I found myself asking the question over and over again, even as I grew further away from the grey blocks of stone and snow which had once been the walls that contained me.

Only the wind screamed back at my words sorrowfully, the rocks unmoving and shiny from the rain. My legs felt shaky and detached from the rest of my body. I could not explain the mischief of a dragon, I would never know how my body had been moved through the air away from the gold chamber while I had slept.

I felt myself slip a couple of times as my boots skidded on the slippery ice that curved its way down the steep edges of the mountain. Over and over the voice in my head kept asking myself why Smaug had actually decided to release me. I had, after all, lied and deceived him.

All my attention was given to the doubt in my mind, and I did not realize how far I had walked down the mountain with no real direction, until I saw the silhouette of a dark figure standing about fifty feet away from me. I stopped in my tracks, my heart thumping uncontrollably in a mixture of surprise, alarm and excitement. It was too foggy for me to make out the face, but judging from the defensive, rigid stature of the man, I figured he had also spotted me and was squaring me out.

The wind howled loudly and I felt myself shiver deeply, although my legs did not stop moving closer towards the stranger ahead of me like a magnet. As my feet carried me closer, my eyes adjusted to the grey fog and the distinct outline of a full grown man appeared in front of me. I automatically squinted my eyes as I tried to see the man in front of me clearer. It was strange to say this, but I seemed to be familiar with the figure approaching me. My heart was now thumping so hard inside my chest it may as well have been audible to a passerby, had they been walking beside me.

' _Could it be you?_ ' My heart whispered silently, ' _Can I dare to hope?_ '

And then, the man broke the silence.

"Lari?"

* * *

His voice was deep and shaky, as if he was in shock or trying not to cry.

I stopped in my tracks, too nervous to take another step. I felt like I may actually pass out if I so much as turned my head to catch eyes with the owner of the voice, and the face I had longed to see for so long. But my heart was stubborn, much more than the fear that had rooted itself inside of me. When I finally looked up with tears streaming down my cheeks, Bard was already running towards me.

"Dear Lord! It really is you!"

"Bard!" I called out, suddenly out of breath from the confusing concoction of emotions stirring inside of me.

Before I could say anything more, Bard sprinted up the final steps and pulled me into his arms. I breathed in the nostalgic scent of soft leather and fresh wood carvings hungrily. I felt my body soar away from the ground as Bard wrapped his arms around my waist and swung me high above in a complete circle. I let him lock my body into his own, as I buried my face in the groove between his neck and shoulder. A clap of thunder rolled above our heads, but neither of us cared one bit. The storm could have ripped off half the mountain, and our joy would have been no less.

"How is this possible?" I heard him ask in a disbelieving voice, "I feel your body around my arms and the softness of your curls through my fingers, but surely I am dead and all of this is nothing more than a sweet, feigned image of reality that death is teasing me with."

I laughed out loud at his words. It was a true, joyful laugh that spilled out from my beating heart and brighten the grey sky above the mountains. I do not believe I had laughed like that in a very long time.

"You are most certainly _not_ dead," I reassured him in a wobbly voice, even though my heart felt like dancing after being reunited with my best friend, "nor are you dreaming or insane. I am alive and here."

"Yes, but how?"

 _How indeed…_

"He released me," I answered after a slight pause.

Bard's grey eyes widened as he stared at me hard.

"The dragon?" He asked and I nodded, "He just 'let you go'? You didn't escape?"

"Smaug let me go. As part of a...bargain," I replied with hesitation rubbed in my voice.

Bard did not break his gaze from my face, but he did not press for any more questions. He could tell I was exhausted and impatient questions, no matter how curious, could deepen the buried wounds I had. Instead he squeezed my shoulder and stroked my hair gently. I felt shivers slide down my spine, not due to the wind blowing around us, but from the relief I had been found.

"I missed you," I heard Bard murmur as he buried his face in my hair.

The warmth of his breath tickled my ears and I was suddenly aware of the way my body cupped so perfectly inside his.

"I missed you too," I whispered and I felt Bard hold me tighter, "I'm sorry I told you not to come back to the mountain."

"I'm sorry too," he replied in a shaky voice, "I'm sorry I let you go."

His words caused my heart to squeeze achingly and I swallowed the invisible lump that had formed inside my throat.

"I still cannot believe I am here and not in the gold chamber," I could not help myself from admitting.

Bard held me away with both his arms outstretched so that he could study me more closely. I followed his eyes move down my arms that were pale and icy cold from the rain and wind. Noticing the goose bumps running over my skin, he quickly took his coat off and wrapped it around my body before I could protest against the gesture. It reminded me of the evening at the wharf, now almost a lifetime ago. I felt myself falling deep into the brown, almond eyes gazing down at me. It was everything I wanted it to be. Yet something inside of me still felt out of place.

"We should go home," Bard finally said quietly, looking at me with concerned eyes.

His words however, evoked a surprised and wary reaction inside of me.

"Home?" I echoed confusedly.

Home of course, was the obvious answer yet nothing but hesitation swam inside my mind. I suddenly realized that the word was but a foreign suggestion to me now, for I had none while under the Mountain.

"Esgaroth – your home. _Our_ home." Bard added with a grin, but his eyebrows scrunched up questioningly when he saw the expression on my face, "What is wrong?"

"Exactly how long has it been since I left?" I asked hesitantly, both reluctant and desperate to hear his answer.

Bard's eyes widened at my question and I felt something drop in my stomach despairingly at his response.

' _Damn the cursed Mountain and meddling of a dragon,_ ' I spat to myself silently.

"Do you not know?" Bard finally asked gently, his brown eyes boring into my face as if he could read my thoughts.

I swallowed and shook my head wordlessly.

Bard said nothing for a long time and continued to look at me with shiny eyes like a fisherman working out how to release the little fish from his net with as small amount of stress as possible. He stroked the end of my fringe gently but his lips remain firmly pursed. After a long time had passed, he spoke,

"You've been gone for four years, Lari."

At first, I was too bewildered and shocked to speak. I felt cheated into believing I had won a game which in fact I had lost from the beginning.

"Four years! Are you sure?" I asked blankly even though I knew my question was little better than stupid.

Bard said nothing more and rested his forehead against mine, but it did little to comfort me.

"And Addy? Father?" I forced the words out of my constricted throat, my voice coming out as a raspy whisper, "Are they alright? Please, Bard. I need to know."

' _Let it not be true. Please._ '

"Lari," Bard said in a strangled voice and my heart sank when I saw the sadness glaze over the grey eyes.

"The sickness, it took Addy. Even after the medicine we bought using the jewel you gave us, Lari, it was not enough to save your cousin. She passed a few weeks before the arrival of spring. Your father was heartbroken. He lost not only you and your mother, but Addy as well. His heart, it couldn't bear the guilt and tragedy, and stopped beating the fortnight that followed."

My head suddenly started spinning uncontrollably at Bard's words, like I had stood up too fast from a sitting position and I was sure I was going to pass out. I was lying to myself if I claimed that the news of Addy and Father's death completely blindsided me, since I had already lived through the horror of it through the Palantair that I had found under the Mountain. But the truth still overwhelmed my heart with grief and it both shattered and shocked me to the core to learn that I had been locked under stone and ice for four years. Four years away from the life I had always known, under the eye of a selfish dragon and his cursed hoard of gold.

Just as I felt my legs give away, Bard's two strong arms gripped my shoulders and kept me upright. We stood still for a long time in the same position with my back facing Bard and his arms wrapped around my body, shielding me against the wind and pain.

"I am to blame," I heard my voice speak with self-hatred, "I should not have left Father like that. I should have made my peace. I broke his heart."

"There was nothing that could have been done," Bard said in a low voice, but one full of strength to pull us both out of the darkness together, "it is not your fault, Lari. You were upset, and words, no matter how painful, cannot bring on sickness."

His words seemed to touch something inside of me and my face crumpled with emotion.

"But there is still so much I have to say to my family!" I heard my voice crack as tears welled up in my eyes and I felt Bard hold me tighter.

Everything became blurry until I blinked and fat salt droplets fell to my feet.

"We need to leave the Mountain," Bard said gently after a long time, "this mountain is evil."

I replied with a silent nod, my face still buried in the crook of his shoulder.

As we finally moved apart and shifted our feet against the gravel, the rain seemed to die down slightly, although the sorrowful woes of the wind still lingered. We walked down the slopes in silence for a few moments, the crunch of stone under our boots the only sound that echoed behind us. A thought that had been festering in my mind since we began our descent could not conceal itself any longer and I had to stop in my tracks, confused.

"What is wrong?" Bard asked me with a questioning look on his face.

I couldn't help but notice the way a few locks of his dark fringe stuck to his forehead due to the rain.

"Everyone believed me to be dead," I began with a frown, "so why did you keep coming back to the Mountain, Bard?"

Bard said nothing and looked away, suddenly embarrassed and I became worried I may have struck a hidden nerve unknowingly. I was about to drop the subject but my eyes instinctively followed his gaze back up the Mountain to where we had walked down from.

I had been too preoccupied with learning the truth about Addy and Father that I had failed to study any of my surroundings clearly. As my eyes scanned the area I felt my body freeze when they stopped in front of what used to be the entrance to the tunnel leading into the gold chamber. The entry was now completely blocked by large boulders the size of horses, a size no man could lift and move.

I saw white flowers purposefully arranged around the fallen boulders and stone. Their moist petals billowed sadly against the wind. Somebody had painstakingly weeded the area around the blocked tunnel and replaced the dying flowers with fresh ones. I felt hot tears flush down my frozen cheeks. Despite feeling Bard's arm gently try to stop me, I trudged my way back over towards the blocked tunnel. Wearily, I bent down and stroked the weeping stone before letting my fingers trace the small petals laid around it.

"You made a grave for me," I heard my voice whisper tearfully, "you returned over and over again to see me. Even after everyone believed me dead."

I could not stand up, my grief was too strong. So I knelt there on my knees, Bard's coat shielding my body like a tent, "you kept coming back to mourn. Four years he held me under that Mountain. A prison of his own loneliness," my voice wobbled as I rambled out the words like vomit.

"Lari-" Bard began but I could not hear him as my panic took over.

"I lost my family. I couldn't even go to their funerals! And here is my own grave where my body should have laid. What kind of sister and daughter am I? I may as well have been dead to everyone else-"

"Lari, stop," Bard cut in gently but in a firm voice, "it's alright. You're here now."

He knelt down beside me and wiped my tears away with his thumb. I felt myself calm down when his forehead touched mine, his body providing me with more than comfort.

Thunder clapped above our heads, but we both ignored the screaming wind and arrow of rain drops that had returned and were now hitting the stones around us.

"I promise I will never let anyone take you away like that again," Bard said in a low voice, his grey eyes never breaking away from my face, and I knew I could trust him, "But you must stop blaming yourself for what had happened."

I said nothing but gripped my chest with my hands because suddenly everything felt too painful and raw. I looked up and saw Bard's eyes shiny with tears. When he spoke again, his voice sounded thick and strangled.

"I thought I lost you for good. I even carved your name into your tombstone. I.." he broke away and closed his eyes, unable to finish the sentence.

Watching Bard react like that sparked off a realization inside of me as to how selfish my own self-pity was. I was not the only one who had suffered over the years. I reached out and squeezed Bard's hand hard. The hardened parts of his skin and callouses rubbed against my own soft skin, and it occurred to me the hardships Bard must have had to face alone. I felt relief when Bard squeezed my hand back reassuringly.

"I've been given a chance. _We've_ been given a second chance," he said softly, not breaking his gaze on me and I nodded.

We left it at that. So much time had passed and there were oceans of confessions and feelings I wanted to release, but no words could ever articulate them, and Bard knew that.

* * *

I said nothing more as Bard led me down the slopes of the mountain. By the time we had reached the edge of the lake, the sun was beginning to tip over the peak of the mountain. The clouds were flooded with painted shades of orange and red, as if the previous rain and thunder was nothing more than a passing nightmare. I tried not to think about the burning pupils of Smaug's eyes as the sun's final rays reached out over the water where Bard had floated his barge.

I felt the swish and slide of the floorboard under my feet while the barge rocked on the water under our weight as we climbed on. I let my fingers stroke the tip of the icy lake, welcoming the forgotten feeling of Edorath, as Bard began sailing the barge away from the coast. The breeze was a wonderful gift from the lake, and I tilted my head back slightly from the edge of the barge where I was sitting. Despite the storm that had blown not long ago, the water was surprisingly calm. The still lake seemed to have an effect on my own mentality, bringing on a sense of tranquility.

Bard and I kept our conversation small during the entire ride, both wanting to preserve the peace for as long as possible. My fingers dug into my skin as I clenched my fist tighter the closer we moved towards Esgaroth. A shallow fog had set in, but I could still see the small village floating like a lost lily pad on the lake.

Even when we arrived at the wharf and Bard had to tie his barge against the wooden post, we did not discuss the strange situation in which we had found ourselves in. He didn't have to ask to know where my heart wanted to visit - his heart was connected to mine like that.

The sun had nearly set and only a few rays were still creeping down from the blood-stained sky. The wharf had almost emptied out of fishermen and the last troupe of housewives bringing in the laundry. The air was cold and the wind breathed silently. I was secretly relieved nobody was paying any attention to Bard and myself as we disembarked the wooden barge.

We walked down the streets in silence. I felt queasy in the stomach as we passed the familiar yet strange, straw-thatched homes lined crookedly across the side of the street. My stomach had practically scrunched itself up into a tight ball by the time we had reached the final house standing in lonesome solitude. I felt Bard's hand slip into mine and squeezed my fingers tight as I stared at the wooden front door that I had used to walk in and out of countless times before. Staring at my house felt strange to me, not because it looked any different from four years ago, but because I knew it could never be the same as it had been. Addy and Father were gone, and home no longer felt like home.

"You don't have to do this now," Bard said softly as he saw me hesitating to make any movement.

I shook my head.

"Now or never," I replied and as I breathed out slowly I felt a sense of calm finally settle inside of me, "I owe her a visit."

My fingers wrapped into a fist and I knocked on the wooden panel three times. The sound of my bones against the wood echoed loud and clearly over the whole building. My heart beat nervously as I heard footsteps on the other side of the walls. I barely had time to compose myself before the lock moved away with a click. The door creaked open and I heard a gasp followed by the appearance of a thin, middle-aged lady with oily hair tied into a tight bun.

I was, once again, returned to my Aunt.

* * *

 _ **Hello, kind readers!**_

 _ **Thank you for the lovely reviews and feedback...I am so honored many of you are enjoying the story :) Not long to go!**_


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